"Bachelor Pad"
Don't as me why he insisted on having the fountain when he has no money
I move inta me own place after graduatin' uni. Didn' have much money, but hey that's what the slacker career track is fo' and I gots meself a job as a freelance web designer me first day in me own place. I did so well on me first day o' work that I earnt me a "tell all" book deal for $20,000.
Ricky's pad
I did up me place all nice to show off to all those lovely ladies I planned on dating. Heh. See, I'm not stupid. Got caught cheating a bit too much for me liking. And I'm still not entirely convinced that Lill didn't poison me pizza. She accused me of wantin' ta have a harem! That's wot she's thinks of me!
I so rock
Anyways, it weren't long before I gots me a promotion to the job of my dreams - professional party guest. Ha! Easy money, that.
Celebrating
I celebrating by buying meself a new sports car. Oh yeah, baby, the chicks really dig that. Heh. Yep, the dating-at-home thing turned out to be really successful. I've been on six dates in the last twenty four hours and haven' been 'ccused of cheatin' once (or of wantin' a harem).
Date one woman, pressies from another
And 'em chicks really dig me. I get all sorts of pressies from the lovely ladies I aim ta please. Gots a TV! And a telescope. I so rock. Before I knew it, I had 10 loves under my belt. I figured, hey, why not try for 30?
The ladies are always very impressed with my... equipment.
Anyway, so I was asked to liven up this party, right? What better way to liven things up than to streak. C'mon, we all knows I'm hot. But y'know what? I gots demoted instead! Demoted! For some stupid reason they thought I was protesting fur or something. Well, I'm not havin' none o' that. I got me a job as a prep cook. If they can't appreciate my fine body, then I won't grace 'em with my presence no more. So ha!
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