It's kind of crazy how amazingly great I feel right now. I've been in such a good mood all day, which, in retrospect, has been few and very far between for the past couple months. I woke up in a great mood, I walked to school in a great mood, and as I was getting to the entrance of school, I just had this wash of confidence and optimism come over me. I somehow just knew everything was going to turn out okay. I got the same feeling last year, after I finished therapy. I just, I knew that things were going to turn out okay.
I've really got so many things to look forward to in this upcoming year. School alone is going to be amazing. I get to save lives, I get to act in a musical, I get to learn and expand my knowledge in my classes, and I get to feel good about myself for that. But I'm looking forward to next summer so much, because my best friend is coming, as per every year, and hopefully for like, three weeks or something, providing she wants to stay that long, and her mom lets her. Good God, I hope her mom lets her come if they don't go to good old TO, cos I'm having a hard time getting used to her being in Prague again. That, and apparently (no details, still kind of up in the air right now) my cousins might be coming here for a week or something like that in August. That I'm really excited about, because by that time, it'll be over a year since I last saw them.
I was walking to school today, listening to my mp3 player, and I was just thinking about some stuff. I'm a very self-conscious kind of person. I'm more comfortable when I'm covered up, or at least clothed to the point where I don't look provocative. The shirt I wore to school today is the only one where it could be considered provocative.
I'm a dork, I'm a ditz, and I'm downright clumsy. I trip over things, I do embarrassing things, but I want a guy who can embrace that and all my other quirky or even non-quirky qualities, and make me a better person, and let me help him be a better person because I'm me. I can't be with someone who is unable to respect me for who I am. I've realised over the years that I can't, and won't, change myself to be accepted by others. Others have to accept me for who I am. There's no grey areas, it's a pretty black and white situation. People either accept me, or they don't. And that goes for boyfriends as well. I'm not going to throw my morals, my beliefs, my everything out the window so I can please him. If he can't respect the fact that I'm shy at times, quiet, need my space, and all the other above qualities, and doesn't understand that I'm not comfortable with moving too fast with things, then he's not worth it.
I have found a guy who respects me and my beliefs and morals, and I can guarantee he's one hell of a guy.
I am in love with Dean.
Anyways, off I shall go. I'll talk to you all later.
*MWAH*
Chantelle xoxo