On the premise that he doesn't abuse this privilege, I'm giving him permission to tell me to stop being a f-ing tool and letting what those morons did to me in the past effect how I live my life now.
In essence, I'm letting him tell me to stop being a f-ing moron. Within limits, of course.
I should NOT be letting my past effect how I live my life and things I do. I am BETTER than that, I deserve more than what they put me through and I can't keep holding myself back because of what they did. Dean doesn't deserve that because he's proven to me time and time again that he's not even close to being the way they are. And if I start letting it interfere, I'm giving him permission to call me on it, within reason. If I know for a fact that I'm not comfortable with something, that's one thing but if I'm not giving something a chance because of something stupid that happened in my past, it's just f-ed up. I'll never know if I'm comfortable with something if I don't try.
F-k, I wish he weren't asleep -wait, he's sane, it's twenty to six in the morning... and he works in two hours and twenty minutes- because I want to tell him this cos our conversation ended really awkwardly and it shouldn't have. Goddamn those f-ers.