The vampire growled, pinning the girl against the wall.
"Evening," Spike greeted, dropping down from the ledge above.
"Get lost!" the vampire snarled.
"Already am," Spike said. "Or at least, according to some."
"What?" the vampire asked.
"Help me!" the girl screamed.
"I don't think you heard me," the vampire told Spike again. "Get out of here."
"Can't do it," Spike replied, shrugging.
"You just made the biggest mistake of your - "
Spike punched him in the jaw then staked him quickly.
"Thank you! Thank you!" the girl babbled. "That thing was going to kill me!"
"Well, what do you expect? Out alone in this neighborhood? I got half a mind to kill you myself, you half-wit!" Spike replied, rolling his eyes.
"What?" she asked, dumbfounded.
"I mean, honestly, what kind of retard wears heels like that in a dark alley? Take two steps, break your bloody ankle," Spike scorned.
"I was just trying to get home," she huffed, turning to leave.
"Well, get a cab, you moron," Spike called after her."And on the way, if a stranger offers you candy, don't get in the van! Stupid cow."