Avery's hand gently skimmed over the chain of the swing seat. The swing swayed slightly as she let go, her eyes, red rimmed and raw from her tears, hidden by large sunglasses.
All around her people playing in the park, the happy cries of the children cutting through her heart like a knife. She paused, watching a young blonde girl, not unlike herself, playing with her baby brother while her parents watched on closely.
Her feet moved out of habit, one in front of the other, quickly passing by everyone, just wanting to be away from this. It had been a mistake to come here, she wasn't ready to go out into the world with a brave face.
Diana had tried talking to her, tried to help her, but there was nothing that could be said that Avery didn't already know. It wasn't anyone's fault, it just happened, it was a terrible thing and the list went on. But the soothing words and the gentle hugs bounced off, as if she were encased in a cold hard shell that was unable to be penetrated by any warmth or love.
She didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to talk about anything. Just wanted to be alone with her thoughts for awhile, just until she thought she could make it through a day without crying. Calling JD had been hard, but calling Talan had been harder. They both wanted to come out and see her, but she refused, wanting to be alone with her sorrow for a little while longer.
Seeing them both would make it real, and she couldn't bear to see their eyes. JD would be full of pity whereas Talan's would be a mix of disappointment. As it was, she could access their minds already, and she didn't want the barage of thoughts that would inevitably attack her when she saw either one of them.
She supposed eventually she would have to see the rest of her family. Her brothers. Taylor had been fairly good at not pressing her to talk, or to do much of anything really, but she had a feeling that Diana might send Ike or Zac over to cheer her up.
But what could they say, really? They hadn't felt something living inside of them only to have it slip through their fingertips, taking along your whole being when it disappeared.
Her body still ached, and she was exhausted, but still she kept walking, if only to outrun herself.