Princess Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo stormed out of parliment in a rage. Even her ladys' maids scurried out of her way. In an uncharacteristic display of temper, she took up a nearby ornament and threw it against the wall, where it gave a satisfying smash and crumbled to the ground in pieces and dust.
"The nerve! The sheer, unadulterated nerve! How dare they! How dare they?"
"The media or the parliment?" asked Lord Reginald, who had followed the angry princess.
"Both! The media for instigating that ridiculous rumour that Tina and are are in a... a... a lesbian relationship, and the parliment for actually believing such nonsense."
Lord Reginald coughed.
"Not all of them."
"Enough of them!" Mia exploded. "I can't believe it: 'Now I don't know if this kind of behaviour is acceptable in America, but in this country you need to marry a man and have a legitimate child to inherit the throne'. Are they idiots? Are they stupid as well as blind?"
Tina
Tina was furious. She knew that people paid more attention to her now that she was Genovian nobility, but she'd always had people paying attention to her, what with her dad being a sheik and all that. BUt this? She was furious.
"Mia!" she said, rushing towards her friend, waving around a tabloid. Somebody had gotten really creative with Photoshop, because the picture on the front was one of her and Mia in a passionate kiss.
"Did you see this?" She was not a happy cookie.
Mia
"Did I see it? It's all the fecking parliment could talk about!" Mia exclaimed. "Half the idiots were actually taken in by that picture. Which never happened. And now, now they're all y'know, you're a Princess and the ruler of the country, you need to marry a man, homosexual marriage isn't legal in this country and even it it was you still need to have a legitimate child to inherit the throne, blah blah blah. Like they think I'm ingoring my responsibilties! Gee, do they think I'm single because I want to be? And what on earth possessed them to photoshop that picture anyway? I want the bastards responsible found, and the whole thing publically retracted. Immediately. You!"
Mia pointed to one of the nearby security guards.
"You will make sure that this happens. Understand?"
"Yes, your majesty," he said with a sharp nod.
"Well? What are you still doing, standing there?"
He swallowed, torn between obeying her and keeping to his security duties, and decided that he would rather have it out with his boss later, than the princess now. He saluted, turned and ran off to do her command.
Tina
"You'd think," Tina said, waving the paper about angrily, "that these stupid forking reporters would do their homework. And maybe figure out that I happen to have a habit of making GUYS fall in love with me, and oh, maybe that both of us have dated boys before? And even if we WERE lesbians, which, no offense Mia, but ew, even if we were who the frack cares? It's 2005. People can get over it!" Tina was now stamping around in a huff.
Mia
"I think it's more the fact that they want an heir to the throne, and I can't get a legitimate one in a lesbian relationship," Mia replied, still stewing. "What am I? A broodmare?"
"No," Lord Reginald put it. "But you are still the ruler of this country, and you have an obligation to ensure the leadership for the next generation. Else, upon your death, the throne lies in contention, and will end up in the hands of one of your cousins."
"For goodness sake, I'm only eighteen," Mia frowned. "I'm supposed to be dating. Albiet I haven't really had a lot of time to, affairs of state and all that, but really. I'm not supposed to be married yet, or have children."
"Royalty should marry young."
Tina
"nobody should marry young!" Tina exploded. "Well, only if they truly want to be. Even so, statistically, most young marriages, that aren't for true love, fall apart early. Besides, telling someone that they should marry just to have kids and produce an heir is bullying someone into it. It's almost exactly the same as what my grandmother tried to do to me. Which I believe, is illegal here. It's immoral!' Tina fumed.
Mia
"Exactly!" Mia agreed fiercely.
"Now ladies," Lord Reginald said. "I'm not saying I don't agree with you. But I also understand how the parliment sees it, and I would very much like to see a..."
"Yes?"
"A resoultion?"
"Like me getting married and having kids."
"Ultimately, yes," and seeing that Mia was taking breath to give another outburst, raised his hand. "But not now, and certainly not for another few years. Perhaps instead of screaming about the media spreading rumours and the parliment believing them, you should have a look at why they find it hard not to believe it. As you just said, you've had no time to date. But you two young ladies do get seen a lot in each other's company. Having no real relationship gossip to spread about their young princess - who is certainly of an age to be courting - the media makes something up that could - in this day and age - be true. Now you know and I know that it's not. And just because you like guys doesn't forbid the possibility of being bisexual. Nonetheless, the parliment members see that headline, and that picture, and while they know themselves that they could be fabricating things, the possibility that it might be true is still there."
"So, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that if you want them," and here he pointed his thumb back at the door, "to get off your back, find some nice boy to hang out with. Or at least find a few young men to get your photos taken with. Spread rumours yourself of being seen with suchnsuch a person, if that's wat it takes. If they think that you're at least looking, they won't harrass you about it any more. Well... unless they start to hear your biological clock ticking, that is."
Mia snorted.
Tina
"Well," Tina said slowly, "That might be a good idea. I've been living in Genovia a while, and haven't taken the time to meet anyone who lives here, pretty much just spending my free time here. I think I'm going to make an effort to meet some people. Maybe throw a party."
Mia
Mia looked at Tina, chewed the inside of her lip, and finally nodded.
"You're probably right," she conceeded to Lord Reginald. "I just... the whole matter infuriates me."
"Understandably," Lord Reginald nodded.
Tina
"Yeah," Tina said. "Now, to figure out how to meet people."
Mia
Mia snapped her fingers.
"I know!" she said brightly. "We can have an international nobility singles party."
She giggled.
"We can invite everyone, male and female. Like Princess Armelle. Well, she's a slayer and might not be looking, but we can still invite her."
Tina
Tina laughed. "Awesome idea. Of course, we should probably go out of our way to meet non-noble people as well, but still, awesome idea." She felt inspired.
Mia
"Well, yeah," Mia agreed. "But this'll give the media something to talk about and distract the parliment while we look for non-nobels quietly."
Lord Reginald nodded his approval.
Tina
"Totally," Tina said.