Avery walked across the bridge, pausing to look down into the crystal clear blue waters of the man made lake at the resort. She was grateful for the time alone while her friends were off swimming with the group of guys they'd met a few days ago.
She was so sick of pretending she didn't miss JD. It was hard to have had so much support and love from him to suddenly having nothing. With no reason as to why it all ended.
Did he miss her at all? Did she miss him? She shouldn't... not now that she had arrived in paradise and was continually given the chance to forget him.
Paradise.
In some ways it was. It really was. It was away from Tulsa, from her family, from the Station. No classes, no chores, no JD, nothing but fun with her best friends. Unsupervised fun. And it was a well needed break.
The stress of the last few weeks was already taking it's toll on her body. She'd already dropped 10 pounds since the break up... 10 pounds that she couldn't really afford to lose. Her ribs protruded from her slight frame, not just on her front but on her back too. Collar bones that sat out atop a bony sternum and hip bones that jutted out dangerously. Her friends were shoving food down her throat at every opportunity, and it wasn't that she wasn't eating, it was just with the stress and all the swimming and walking they were doing, the weight was practically falling off her. Right now she still looked ok. A little skinnier than usual, but nothing drastic. But in a few weeks? Who knew.
Avery spotted her and her friends' stuff on the deck chairs, where they'd left one free for her. She walked over and spread her towel out on a chair and lay back on it, lazy, relaxed, in appearance, but screaming on the inside.
It was getting so hard to keep up the facade of happiness. Some of the time she forgot about him and she was able to enjoy herself, but as soon as she remembered the mess she'd left behind in Georgia, she felt like she was melting on the inside.
It was part of the reason for the sudden image change. She somehow associated the purple hair, nose ring and belly button piercing with JD. He'd encouraged her to do those things, to find out who she really was, no matter how many changes she had to make for herself... and now that JD was out of the picture, she was determined to reinvent herself in a way that had nothing to do with him at all. The belly ring was the only thing that remained from her old look.
She wondered vaguely how her family would take it... or her friends on the Station. She was even considering plastic surgery to correct herself... to reinvent herself again. Just a nose job, but maybe a breast augmentation to actually give her breasts. It was one thing Avery was very conscious of. Her next to nothing chest.
She just needed to break free from any part of her life associated with the time period that was entitled "The JD Period".
Even if it meant changing her whole personality.
She'd do anything to prevent getting her heart smashed again.