"Welcome to Big Brother 2006, and now, your hosts... stars of the hit series, The Simple Life, those gorgeous celebutant's, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie!" Mike Goldman yelled to the crowd.
On cue, the band started playing as the doors opened at the top of the stairs and the silhouttes of Paris and Nicole became visible.
"Miss Hilton you must be worth a million bucks..."
The curtain pulled back and a spotlight focused on Nicole and Paris as they waved and descended the stairs, both dressed immaculately.
"Heyyyyyyyy!" Paris called out, waving as they moved to centre stage.
"What's going on, bitch?" Nicole asked, standing next to Paris, one hand on her hip, the other holding her microphone up.
"Welcome to the very first mutant and alien Big Brother!" Paris waved again at the crowd. "This is so exciting!"
"Do you love it?" Nicole asked the crowd, grinning when the crowd started cheering. "This series is going to be full of so many surprises, and they all start tonight."
"Tonight you'll meet our housemates, and watch them enter the house and be thrown into a situation where they have no control at all," Paris continued.
"Remember, you guys are the ones with the power to change the house. Watch the shows, pick your favourites and remember to vote for the house you want to watch, not the house you want to live in!" Nicole reminded them.
"So, do you guys want to have a sneak peek at the house?" Paris asked.
The crowd went crazy, cheering and yelling.
"Ok, take us in, Bree and Fitzy!" Paris called.
The huge plasma screens, which up until that point had been showing Paris and Nicole, changed to show Bree and Fitzy giving a tour of the house. They showed the Friday Night Games arena, the bedrooms, kitchen, living room, sauna, bathrooms, spa, pool, and explained how the Null force in the house worked.
"Thanks guys!" Nicole said, after it was all done. "So... are you guys ready to meet our housemates?"
"YES!" was the collective cry from the crowd.
"Ok, first up, is a very sexy guy from LA, laid back, fun, loves to party..."
After announcing and sending a few of the housemates into the entrance room of the house, a room where there was a punch bowl, some bottles of alcohol and light snack food, Paris and Nicole were ready to announce the next few.
"And now, she's shy, she's cute, she can disappear in the blink of an eye... except for in our house, that is... she's Ebony!" Nicole exclaimed, as the doors opened for Ebony to step onto the stage.
Ebony
Ebony stood stock still.
She had been a nervous wreck all day, and had thrown up at least twice in the last few hours. And now, the moment came... having to go on stage with all those people watching. And not just the people in the audience - there was also the people watching their televisions to consider. Why, why, why, why, why did she ever even consider applying?
"Ebony," someone hissed at her.
A small push to the back, and Ebony was onstage. Her walk was mechanical and the lights seemed blinding.
"It'll all be over soon," she told herself.
Paris and Nicole
Paris turned slightly to look at Ebony.
"Hey there Ebony," she greeted.
Nicole put one arm around Ebony's waist and held the microphone in front of her face.
"Are you ready to go into the house?"
Ebony
Ebony swallowed.
"Yeah," she replied.
She found herself nodding - like an idiot she thought. But the sooner she got in the house, the sooner she'd be off the stage.
Keahi
Keahi waited nervously to be called.
Paris and Nicole
"So why did you want to go into the house?" Paris asked, repeating what the prompter was reading to her.
"Are you looking for love? The prize money? Or just for the experience?" Nicole went on.
Ebony
"Umm, well," Ebony stammered, "the experience."
She knew she just should have let it there, but she had a bad habit of babbling at the most inopportune times:
"And plus, some of my friends think I'm a bit of a wuss, so I had to prove that I wasn't, which is stupid because I am. And I know it. I'm terrified right now, and I threw up twice already, and I'm sure you didn't really want to know that, but I can't seem to stop babbling..."
Her face went bright red. Great. Babbling on national television. Cue the embarrassment.
Paris and Nicole
"That's hot," Paris said, giving her a reassuring half hug.
"Ok, well, off you go into the house!" Nicole said, indicating the long walkway up above the crowd, that connected to the stage.
Ebony
That's hot? Ebony certainly didn't expect that reaction, but she appreciated the hug.
She took a deep breath and made her way down the walkway. This was it.
Paris and Nicole
"She's cute," Paris said, as Ebony disappeared.
"She's sweet," Nicole agreed, then giggled. "We should get her a tattoo. And laid."
Paris burst out laughing.
"Let her have something," Nicole went on, laughing along.
The two blondes chortled over this for a few seconds, the crowd joining in, until Paris straightened up and brushed her hair from her eyes.
"Stay tuned for when we throw our new housemates in together, after the break!" she announced.
The prompter made a signal to let them know the commercials were rolling, and the make up artists ran onstage to give Nicole and Paris a touch up.
"Let's hit Score after this," Paris said to Nicole.
"Portus, how do you think we'll do that? We're in Australia, remember?" Nicole asked.
"Oh yeah," Paris replied.
"And we're on in 5, 4, 3..." the stage hand made motions to the girls.
"Hey guys, welcome back to the premiere of Big Brother 2006. I'm Nicole Richie," Nicole started.
"And I'm Paris Hilton. Ok, so we just met Ebony, she'll be getting checked to go into the entrance room any moment now," Paris went on. "And now, time to meet our new housemate. This girl describes herself as fun, and wants to use this as an opportunity to meet new friends... let's give a warm welcome to Keahi!"