Dear Diary, Sometimes it really sucks being the youngest of eight kids. Sometimes it's a lot of fun, because I'm the one that gets fussed over and spoiled, and since Mommy and Daddy have already raised all the other kids, I don't really get punished for as much because the others pushed the limits. So that's pretty cool, I guess. But then again, times like these make it suck heaps.
I'm not stupid diary, you know that. I'm just little, that's all.
And I think it's because of that, that (can I put two that's
together?) no one will bother explaining to me what's going on.
Avie's sad and kinda quiet all the time and everyone thinks I don't
notice but I do too, diary. I don't have to be a an
empath like Mom to see there is something wrong.
I don't want Avie to be sad. I don't want any of them to be sad.
I don't get what's going on because no one is telling me anything.
They just think I'm two too young to understand.
But maybe I'm not. Maybe for once I just wanna be told what is going
on and if I don't understand it after I've been told, then that's
that. But at least I wouldn't be so in the dark all the time!
I think they think they're protecting me or something. I guess they are but it's real hard to be the only one who doesn't know what's happening. It makes me so scared to talk in case I say something that upsets someone.
I guess though in a way I really like (I think I should put some
commas in there but I don't know wear where. I'll
have to do some English revision later) being all innocent (is that
the right word?). Secrets kinda destroy my family. They think I
don't see it, but I notice when they smile sometimes their lips
smile but their eyes don't. Sometimes they look so sad when they
walk around that I think they're going to cry. I like that I don't
have to hide things. When I'm happy, I'm happy and when I'm sad, I'm
sad. I'm me all the time!
Maybe being old makes you a secret keeper? Or maybe it's the stuff that's been going on. I don't know what exactly happened, but I know that our family has had a rough couple of years. We've had good times but I know there's been some bad stuff too. Oh well.
Anyway, I started dancing today, diary and it's soooo sooooo soooo much fun!! I can't wait till I go again next week!! My feet are a bit sore though, Mom said she's gonna get me a foot bath or something. A bath for feet! How cool! I have some blisters and their (or is it they're?) really sore, I have to bandage them up now.
See you later diary!
Love Zo xoxo