Kanika & Logan
Kanika crept with Airlia to the kitchen, where she could smell pancakes cooking. And Daddy was cooking them. That meant they would be good, all dripping with syrup and tasty, mmm...
She stepped into the kitchen and lightning quick, Logan grabbed her.
Kanika screamed, kicking wildly.
"RUN, LIA! SAVE YOURSELF! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Airlia and Faith
Airlia started to bolt from the room and Faith stepped into the doorway and picked her up.
"Not so fast, you."
"No! Mommy, let me down!"
Logan, Kanika & Octavian
"Right."
Kanika kept screaming her head off. It was quite loud.
Octavian stepped into the kitchen blearily, then headed straight to make a cup of tea.
"Make her stop. I didn't get enough sleep last night."
"Yeah, and I can smell why."
"I showered."
"Not enough."
Faith and Airlia
Faith held the struggling Airlia still, who was wailing pitifully.
"Mommy! This is child abuse!"
"If you think this is child abuse, you're in for a rude awakening."
Logan, Kanika & Octavian
Logan tucked Kanika under his arm, upside down. She continued to wail.
"LET ME GO! LET ME DOWN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Your pancakes are burning," Octavian said in an interested voice.
"Oh shit!"
Logan turned back to the stove, where indeed, his pancakes were burning. He dumped Kanika on a surprised and totally horrified Octavian, then went to scrape the burning pancake into the bin and start another one.
Faith and Airlia
Faith watched with amusement, holding Airlia with a cast iron grip.
"Mommy!"
Octavian, Kanika & Logan
"Why am I holding a child? I want nothing whatsoever to do with children, so much so, I am thinking of having sex entirely with men, just to ensure no accidents happen," Octavian said plaintively.
"LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Suck it up, both of ya," Logan grunted.
He started to make a new batch of pancakes.
"Neither of you two brats are getting any pancakes, for lying to me and Faith last night."
"But!"
"But me no buts. No pancakes for you."
Faith and Airlia
Faith nodded.
"MOMMY! DON'T BE MEAN!"
Airlia struggled.
"You and Logan suck!"
Logan, Kanika, Octavian & Sergei
"And..." Logan said slowly.
"NO! NO AND! NO PANCAKES IS ENOUGH! FREEEEEEEEEDDDDDDD!" Kanika screamed, kicking Octavian in the stomach.
He oofed, but didn't let go.
"And, no Xbox. No playstation. No computer. Tv, but no cable. No videos or DVD's. And you have to say sorry to Bobby for putting the toad in his room. And you have to help me and Faith get the ink out of your jumpers."
"BORZHEMOI!"
"And what did you do to Sergei?" Logan asked with a sigh.
Faith and Airlia
Faith nodded.
"Nothing much," Airlia grinned, kicking Faith.
Faith didn't react.
"You're so mean."
Sergei, Logan & Kanika
Sergei stormed into the kitchen, carrying two pie plates and looking very angry.
"Who put these outside my door? I am hung over, tired and so pissed right now, you would not believe it!"
"Kanika," Logan sighed.
"FRED TOLD US TO! WE WERE MAKING MUD PIES!"
Bobby, Faith and Airlia
"Why is everyone so loud this morning?" Bobby asked, walking into the kitchen and yawning.
"Drop Dead Fred seems to be striking again," Faith said.
"I don't care if the Queen told you to make mud pies, don't do it!"
Airlia pouted.
"YOU'RE BOTH POOH HEADS!"
Sergei, Kanika, Octavian & Logan
Sergei snarled and dropped the pies in the sink before going to shower.
"Why doesn't this Fred just drop dead, and stay dead?"
Kanika gasped like he'd hit her or something, before wailing and bursting into tears. Octavian looked panicked.
"Bobby, what do you do with a crying child?!"
"Ignore it," Logan said.
"Oh, easy for you to say. She's not kicking you in the stomach."
Faith, Airlia, Bobby and Rebekah
Faith struggled to hold Airlia, who was now crying and writhing too.
"FRED'S OUR FRIEND!"
Bobby looked panicked and backed away.
Rebekah walked into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes.
"What is with zis noise?"
"Don't ask," Bobby said.
Logan, Kanika & Octavian
Logan took the cooked pancakes, put them on the table, turned the stove off and grabbed Kanika from Octavian. He put a hand over her mouth and ignored it when she bit him hard.
"Quit it, Kanny, or I'll smack your little butt until you're just crying harder. And for a better reason."
"I'm confused, and frightened by the children," Octavian said.
He latched onto Bobby.
"I don't think I'll ever have sex with a woman again! Just in case she spawns one of these little monsters!"
Faith, Airlia, Rebekah and Bobby
Faith sat a pouting Airlia down in a chair.
"I hate you both," Airlia informed them.
"Good, makes things easier," Faith replied.
Rebekah shook her head and grabbed a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and went back up to Jono.
Bobby raised an eyebrow.
"You may be too late for that. Need I remind you of my girlfriend?"
Octavian, Logan & Kanika
"Ngh!"
Octavian went pale and swayed alarmingly.
"Too much to think about this early in the morning."
"I think you two have something to say to Bobby," Logan said as he firmly sat Kanika down in a chair.
She reached for a pancake, and he smacked her fingers. She glared at him and then crossed her arms, pouting.
"I'm not saying it, so there. You can keep your rotten pancakes. They probably taste like dog pooh anyway."
"Blondie, Icecube, want some pancakes?" Logan asked.
Octavian looked up from where he was finally making his tea.
"I think that would be nice. Can you cook, Logan?"
"Pancakes, yeah."
Faith, Airlia and Bobby
"Apparently Logan is multi-useful," Faith said, nodding.
"Is that a word?" Bobby asked.
"Yes, because I say it is."
Bobby shrugged. "Won't argue with that."
Airlia pouted, then giggled as Fred popped in.
"Morning, who's for a snot flicking?"
"ME!"
Logan, Kanika & Octavian
Logan served out pancakes to everyone except Kanika and Airlia, then sat down to eat his.
"You're so mean, Daddy," Kanika said.
"Hey, Snot Face, look up!"
Kanika did and Fred dragged his finger down her face.
"GOTCHA SNOT FACE!"
"Ewwww, Fre-ed!"
"I'm frightened," Octavian whispered to Bobby, watching the two small girls.
Faith, Airlia and Bobby
Faith ate her pancakes thoughtfully, watching Airlia and Kanika, and rubbing her foot against Logan's.
"Come on then!" Fred said, then stuck his finger up his nose and flicked the snot into Octavian's tea.
"Ohhhh yuck!" Airlia cried.
Bobby nodded.
Octavian, Kanika & Logan
Octavian sipped from his tea.
"EWWWWWWWWWWW!" Kanika giggled.
"OH GROSS!"
Octavian inched closer to Bobby, then tried some of the pancakes.
"I have to say, these are actually quite good," he said in surprise.
Logan just nodded slightly.
Faith, Airlia and Bobby
Faith watched Airlia and Kanika discreetly.
Airlia giggled, as Fred went under the table and looked under Faith's skirt.
"No panties. NO PANTIES!"
"YUCK!"
Bobby shook his head and ate some pancakes.
"They are, but I wasn't going to argue because he could kill me."
Kanika & Octavian
"Ewwwww! Your mom's gross," Kanika told Airlia.
"Good point," Octavian said.
Faith and Airlia
Faith looked slightly worried.
Airlia wrinkled her nose.
"I know, but I bet it's because of your dad."
Kanika & Logan
"Maybe. Because he's just a big fat meanie and I HATE HIM!"
Logan just ate his breakfast.
Airlia and Faith
"And my mom's a pooh head. Why don't they just get married and have yucky stupid kids!" Airlia exclaimed.
"Much like the kid I already have," Faith muttered.
Kanika & Octavian
"I hate you both, and I'm not saying sorry to Bobby Smelly Head for the toad, it was a present."
Kanika crossed her arms and started to kick the table.
Octavian coughed slightly as he finished his tea.
"I think we should go now, Bobby, don't you?"
Airlia, Faith and Bobby
"Neither am I," Airlia said, starting to get up.
"And you can't make us."
Faith smiled evilly.
"Oh yes we can."
Bobby eeped.
"I know they're not mad at me, but let's go."
Octavian, Kanika & Logan
"I quite agree."
Octavian put their plates in the dishwasher, then grabbed Bobby's hand and fled.
"Nah nah, you can't," Kanika said with great self assurance.
"No TV now until you say sorry to Bobby for lying about him, and for the toad," Logan said gruffly.
Kanika's mouth fell open in shock and outrage.
"But, but that's not fair!"
Airlia and Faith
Airlia looked back out at Bobby.
"I'M SORRY!" she hollered.
"There, happy?"
"No," Faith said.
Logan, Kanika & Octavian
"Go say sorry to Bobby," Logan said.
Kanika glared at him, then went limp, crashing out of her chair.
"She's playing dead, does it all the time," Logan assured Faith.
"I'M DEAD! HAVE SOME SYMPATHY!"
"Oh, this is so odd," Octavian said.
"I hate children."
Faith, Bobby and Airlia
Faith watched, her eyes amused.
"Well, if you're dead, be quiet."
Airlia turned big brown eyes onto Bobby.
"I'm very sorry, will you please tell Logan that you forgive me?"
Bobby swallowed.
"Um, yeah. Forgiven."
Kanika, Logan & Octavian
"Spike's dead and he's not quiet," Kanika pointed out from the floor, eyes closed and arms splayed wide dramatically.
"He also doesn't breathe," Logan pointed out.
"Minor technicality!"
"She sounds like Hank," Octavian whispered to Bobby.
"His NAME is Doctor Fuzzy Bear, Tavvie Fart Pants!"
Faith, Airlia and Bobby
Faith chuckled.
"Mommy, please can we go now?" Airlia asked.
"Um... nah."
Bobby grinned.
Logan, Kanika, Hank & Octavian
"Well, you can't," Logan told Kanika.
"SHH! I'M DEAD!"
"And I'm very sorry to hear that," Hank said as he entered the kitchen.
"Losing one of my patients so quickly, disgraceful. Good morning, everyone. And how are we on this felictatious occasion?"
"Confused and frightened by the children," Octavian said.
Kanika 'rose from the dead' and grabbed onto Hank's fur.
"They're being abusive parents! And mean!"
"Morning, Blue," Logan said.
"Think there's some pancakes left, if ya want them."
"That would be prefectly agreeable, Logan, thank you."
Faith, Airlia and Bobby
Faith laughed slightly, then sobered at Bobby's look.
"What?"
"Sorry, when he said felitatious, it made me think of another f word. Ok, sorry, I'm good."
Airlia pouted.
"HATING!"
Bobby saluted at Hank.
"Hey Hank."
Hank, Octavian, Kanika & Logan
Hank stammered slightly at Faith's words, then turned to Bobby.
"Good morning, Bobby. I trust you are well?"
"He's cute when he's confused," Octavian said.
"Doctor Fuzzy Bear, you have to help us!" Kanika cried out, still clinging to his leg.
"They're so mean!"
"Discipline be good for ya," Logan said gruffly.
Faith, Bobby and Airlia
"Yes, discipline is good for all of us," Faith said, looking pointedly at Logan, but smiling innocently.
Airlia nodded at Hank.
"They're meanies!"
Bobby choked on his coffee and coughed.
"Yeah, I'm good. I was going to come down and see you later today, see if you felt like doing a twinkie run."
Hank, Logan, Octavian & Kanika
Hank tried to look like he hadn't heard Faith's comment. Logan grinned and drank his coffee.
"Yes, but properly, Twinkie runs must be made at midnight. After hotwiring Xavier's car. Or Scot's, which ever appeals. But it must be someone in a position of authority," Hank said seriously.
"Dr Hank McCoy has a rebellious streak! Someone call the papers!" Octavian said.
"Doctor Fuzzy Bear, you have to help us," Kanika said.
"Or they'll put us in durance vile!"
"Kurt," Octavian said.
Faith, Bobby and Airlia
Faith sipped from her orange juice.
"Mmm, authority," she drawled.
Bobby chuckled.
"Yeah, we can do it tonight."
"Yes, do it tonight," Faith repeated.
Airlia nodded.
"Dr Fuzzy Bear!"
Hank, Octavian, Logan & Kanika
"Splendid! A Twinkie run tonight!" Hank said.
Octavian smiled slightly at the doctor's enthusiasm.
Logan grinned again at what Faith was saying.
"Doctor Fuzzy Bear, this a 'mergency! No Tv! No videos, no DVD's, no XBox, no playstation!" Kanika said.
"Why, what happened that Logan and Faith decided to take this drastic step?" Hank asked seriously, crouching down so he wasn't so towering over her.
Kanika threw her arms around his neck.
"We left Bobby a present! A really, really good toad. I mean, I would have liked it for me, but it was that good, I had to give it to someone. Really warty. With cool gold eyes."
"I...see," Hank said carefully.
Kanika let go of Hank and pointed an accusing finger at Bobby.
"What did you do with Mr Toad?!"
Bobby and Faith
"I don't know. It's probably still in there. I didn't - "
"Sleep in your own room? We know, we heard you," Faith said.
"Oh like you guys were any better," Bobby shot back, then realised who he was talking to.
"Not that I mind, you know, because I like being alive. Please don't kill me!"
Kanika, Hank & Logan
"YOU KILLED HIM! Where did you dispose of the body, you MURDERER?!"
Kanika leapt for Bobby, but Hank snagged her out of the air midpounce.
"Doctor Fuzzy Bear!" she whined.
"Thanks, Blue," Logan said.
He looked over his coffee cup at Bobby.
"You, I'll kill later."
Faith and Bobby
Faith grinned slightly and slid her foot into Logan's lap.
"Me? Why?" Bobby squeaked.
Logan, Kanika, Hank & Octavian
"Because I feel like it," Logan growled.
"Want a better reason?"
"Fine, ok, I'll say sorry to Bobby Smelly Head," Kanika huffed, dangling from Hank's paw.
"Sorry for putting that extra neat cool toad in your bed. And sorry for lying about the nakey lady picture books we said you gave us to Daddy and Faith."
Octavian burst out laughing.
"Truly, the work of genius!"
"See, someone likes the way I think!"
Kanika grinned cheekily.
Faith and Bobby
"Faith, don't let him kill me, I will give you pleasure," Bobby offered.
"Mmm, I'm sure that's going to convince him to not hurt you," Faith said.
Bobby caught Logan's look and eeped, running from the kitchen with a final call of :
"You can kill me, but what about the remote?!"
Logan, Kanika, Hank & Spike
"Fine, you can watch the TV, but the other punishments still stand, understood?" Logan said, looking at Kanika and Airlia.
"Yes, Daddy," Kanika said meekly.
"What about the remote, Drake?!" Logan shouted after him.
"Bobby, no! Not the remote!"
Hank ran after him.
"GAH! Get off, you snotty nosed anklebiter, I was watching the Sex Pistols!" Spike shouted.
Faith, Airlia and Bobby
Faith stood up, looking ready to run after Bobby.
"Thank you Logan," Airlia said softly.
Bobby clutched the remote tightly.
"Stand back Hank, I have a remote and I am *not* afraid to use it."
Spike, Hank, Octavian & Logan
Spike growled and made to leap for Bobby, but Hank stopped him.
"No, you fool! That's the last remote before Jean goes shopping again! We'll be stuck watching..."
Hank looked at the TV.
"The History Channel, all week! Actually, that might not be a bad thing..."
"Miss Sailor Moon? Bobby, are you crazy?!" Octavian shouted.
Logan nodded slightly.
"You two hungry now? Want some breakfast?"
Bobby, Airlia and Faith
Bobby squeezed the remote tighter.
"Don't take another step. I'M AN ICEMAN ON THE EDGE!"
Airlia nodded.
"Yes please."
Faith heard shouting and decided to go investigate the Bobby/Hank remote saga.
Hank, Spike & Logan
"Bobby, no!" Hank shouted.
"Put it down, step away and no one gets hurt!"
"Oh bloody hell, I'm going. Going to SHAG," Spike announced, then walked away.
"More fun then watching you lot bicker like old women."
Logan pushed back from the table and started to cook more pancakes.
"You like bacon and eggs with your pancakes?"
Faith, Bobby and Airlia
Faith walked into the rec room.
"Oh no, Hank! I don't think so! You step away, and we can all watch TV again, but unless you want to be watching..."
He changed it to a nature program.
"THIS all week, then you'll think twice! Don't push me, I'M ON THE EDGE!"
Airlia nodded.
"Sounds cool!"
Hank, Octavian, Logan & Kanika
"Bobby, dear sir, please do not do anything rash," Hank said, stepping back slightly.
"That really is no way to handle him," Octavian sighed.
He walked to Bobby and kissed him long and passionately on the lips, one hand on the front of the other teen's pants.
"I hardly think I could handle Bobby that way," Hank complained, looking away.
"Great."
Logan started cooking.
"See, he's not mean all the time. But more often since we came here," Kanika explained.
Faith, Airlia and Bobby
Faith walked back into the kitchen.
"It's a stand off, Bobby against Hank."
Airlia nodded.
"Mommy was all grumpy in Tulsa though."
Bobby pulled back and jumped onto the couch.
"Don't even think about it, anyone. I can break this faster than you can get over here, Hanky boy!"
Hank, Octavian & Logan
"Oh no! Whatever should we do?" Hank declaimed dramatically.
"Bobby, if this thing gets stuck on the nature channel, there will be no sexual favours as long as it is! the nature channel," Octavian threatened.
"Right."
Logan shook his head.
"I'm not even gonna ask. It's probably safer that way."
Bobby and Faith
"The remote stays safe if you don't let Logan kill me!" Bobby announced.
Faith nodded.
"Probably best for your sanity if you don't ask."
Hank, Octavian, Logan & Kanika
"I promise to make sure our esteemable colleague doesn't kill you or in any fashion harm you," Hank said.
"Now, please, put the remote down."
"Don't do anything drastic, Bobby!" Octavian said.
"More then likely," Logan agreed.
He put two plates down in front of Kanika and Airlia. Kanika started to eat quickly.
Bobby, Airlia and Faith
Bobby put the remote down slowly.
"Ok."
Airlia started to eat.
Faith sat down on a bench.
Octavian, Hank & Logan
"Good Bobby," Octavian said and pounced, kissing him hard.
Hank coughed slightly and cleaned his glasses.
"Any plans for today?" Logan asked Faith.
Bobby and Faith
Bobby kissed him back, then pulled away for air.
"So, Hank, feel up for whooping me at a game of chess?"
Faith thought for a moment.
"Thought about going into the city and replacing pants that someone ripped."
Hank, Octavian & Logan
"I think that would be an admirable idea," Hank said.
"Perhaps I can actually teach you to play at a passing level."
"Oh, ouch!" Octavian teased.
"I have a Danger Room session...I'm still not that sure who with, so I'll see everyone later."
He grinned and waved at everyone before he left. He made it down the corridor and around a corner before the wave of insane jealousy hit. He gasped for a second, then kept going down to the Danger Room.
"Oh, no. Who would have done that?" Logan said, deadpan.
Bobby and Faith
"News for you, Papa Smurf, I've been practicing. So... care to make a wager on this game?" Bobby asked, looking devious.
Faith shrugged.
"Hmmm, think his name is Logan. Haven't seen him around, have you?"
Hank & Logan
"Papa...Smurf?" Hank said carefully.
"I think you are in for a rude shock, my friend. What are the stakes in this friendly game?"
"Mmm...not sure."
Logan shook his head slightly and sipped from his coffee.
Bobby and Rebekah
"Whoever loses, steals panties from a girl's room, and dances around singing 'Rubber Ducky' with them on their head."
Bobby grinned, smug.
Faith shrugged.
"Well, I have a few messages for this Logan."
Hank & Logan
"And I would say, this must also be in public, outside the mansion," Hank said, confident that he would win.
"Really now?"
Logan sipped from his coffee.
"I might just be able to get in touch with him for you..."
Bobby and Faith
Bobby grinned evilly.
"A street in the city? A busy one."
Faith crossed her ankles together and looked coy.
"Hmmm, well, you should definitely do that. I'm going to go replace my pants, but if you get in contact with him, I'll be back in about an hour."
Hank & Logan
"But of course," Hank said.
"Maximise public humilation..."
"Ok," Logan said.
"I can do that."
Bobby and Faith
"You're on, Sully."
Bobby cracked his knuckles.
Faith hopped off the bench and pressed a quick kiss on Logan's cheek, then headed out.
Hank & Logan
"Well, let us retire to my room down near my labratory," Hank said.
"I have a chess set there."
Logan cleaned up after the little girls and they went to go play.
Bobby and Faith
"Let us do this thing you say."
Bobby followed Hank from the room.
Faith went into the city and bought a few more pairs of leather pants, some extremely short skirts, and other assorted items that are disturbing.
Hank
Hank set up the chessboard and let Bobby take white.
"Your move, Bobby."
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby 'ummed' and 'ahhed' for a few moments, then moved his piece forward.
Rebekah rolled over and reached for her orange juice, lazily watching Jono.
Hank & Jonothon
Hank set down to beat Bobby at chess. He moved his pieces around the board skillfully, mind working ahead of Bobby's to offset strategies before they happened.
Jonothon looked up at her and smiled briefly, before making a careful notation on a piece of paper.
"Penny fer 'em, luv."
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby was pouting as he played.
Not that he really would mind wearing girls panties...
Rebekah smiled and reached over to kiss him.
"Hmmm, nothing. Just watching you."
Hank & Jonothon
"And I belive, Bobby my friend, that that is checkmate," Hank said, putting his piece down.
"K, Bek."
Jonothon kissed her back gently.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby stared for a moment, then laughed.
"Ok, let's get this over with."
Rebekah perched in his lap and read over his notes.
"Ooh, that'll sound good..."
Hank & Jonothon
"Indeed, my friend, indeed," Hank said.
"So, who will be your unfortunate victim to steal the item of feminine frippery from?"
"Yer think?"
Jonothon put the pencil down and put his arms around her waist.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby paused for effect.
"Rebekah LaVauney."
Rebekah kissed his head and nodded.
"Oui... oh, I meant to ask you this earlier... Dicko's all 'I want you to write your own songs because you can, blah blah, I'm English'... so if it's not too much to ask..."
Hank & Jonothon
"Inspired genius," Hank said gravely.
"Seeing as she mostly resides in the attic with the Byronic musician from Albion..."
"You want me to write your songs?" Jonothon said, surprised.
Bobby and Rebekah
"Why thank you, Dr Blue."
Bobby stood up and cracked his neck.
"Yeah, let's do it! Panty raid!"
Rebekah smiled slightly.
"Well not all of zem, but I would like your help. And I'd really like you to play guitar on the album as well."
Hank & Jonothon
Hank chuckled as he stood.
"I will wait for you by the car. Who knows, we may need to make a quick exit for you to fulfill the last part of your bet."
"Yeah, I could do that...fer yer."
Jonothon kissed her gently.
"Cos I luv yer."
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby grinned and headed upstairs to Rebekah's room.
Rebekah kissed him back.
"I know it was a lot to ask, but I would not 'ave asked if I did not sink you would be up to it. Levi's coming in to help with a few songs, and I know Millsy and I 'ave a duet on zis album. Should be interesting."
Hank & JonothonHank went out to start his car. He slipped an image inducer on his wrist and waited for Bobby to return as his image flickered then became human in form.
"Brill."
JOnothon rested his head against her shoulder, holding her gently.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby crept into Rebekah's room and went through her drawers, pulling out a lacy pair of black French cut panties.
"Ooh, the French have good taste."
He chuckled to himself and ran out to the car.
Rebekah touched his face gently.
"I love you, you know that?"
She kissed his head.
"Zere is a slight catch. I am recording in Australia..."
Hank & Jonothon
Hank chuckled as he opened the door from inside for Bobby.
"Well, let us go. Oh, I have some Twinkies in here somewhere if you can find them..."
"That's wot teleporters are fer," Jonothon said.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby hopped into the car and rummaged around, looking for twinkies.
Rebekah nodded.
"Oui, I was slightly nervous zat you would not want to come."
She sat thoughtfully.
Hank & Jonothon
Hank started to drive into the city, whistling to himself slightly.
"Wiv yer? Anywhere."
Jonothon kissed her cheek.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby was grinning, holding Rebekah's panties.
"Lucky Jono," he said, before losing control and burst out laughing.
Rebekah smiled and kissed him gently.
"Zen, after the CD is done, promotions and zen apparently Millsy and I are going on tour together, because our albums will be coming out around ze same time."
Hank & Jonothon
"Oh my stars and garters," Hank said quietly to himself, then fixed his attention back on the road.
He was very glad he'd won that chess game, even if it had been a foregone conclusion.
"Sounds like a good idea. That way ya aren't competing for publicity."
Jonothon nodded slightly.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby chuckled and put the underwear on his head.
"You know what, to make this more authentic, I say I just dance in my boxers."
Rebekah slid off his lap and lay back down on the bed.
"Hmm, but a month and a bit with Millsy? I sink I am likely to go insane."
Hank & Jonothon
"If you so desire, Bobby..." Hank said with a chuckle.
"Ah, but you'd have me to balance out him," Jonothon said.
"Providing much needed balance."
Bobby and Rebekah
"Well, if I'm gonna make an arse out of myself, I might as well go all the way."
Bobby grinned.
Rebekah nodded.
"And merci for zat. 'Ave you ever spent time alone with him? Most of ze time you wish for a freak accident zat will kill either him or you... it doesn't matter who, just as long as it gets him to shut up."
Hank & Jonothon
"It is your payment of the bet, my friend," Hank said.
"You're fine to do whatever you want in addition to the already stipulated payment."
Jonothon chuckled dryly.
"That I can believe."
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby chuckled.
"Excellent. Did you bring a video camera?"
Rebekah took a sip of her juice, humming to herself.
Hank & Jonothon
"But of course! I need evidence to show the judge you truly are insane before I have you commited," Hank said, nodding.
Jonotohn turned back to his music.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby laughed.
"Good, coz if I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do it properly. Wonder how Chuckles will react..."
Rebekah watched him, while mindlessly plucking out a new tune on her guitar.
Hank & Jonothon
"I will come visit you when you're in jail, Bobby," Hank said.
"Or the mental institution. Whichever they pick."
Jonothon looked over at her and smiled slightly.
Bobby and Rebekah
"That's reassuring, thanks Hanky boy."
Bobby grinned.
Rebekah's fingers danced over the strings of her guitar, the melody changed to a more melancholy tune, her voice soft but sweet as she sang, completely unaware that she was being watched.
"I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me..."
OOC: Here Without You - 3 Doors Down Hank & Jonothon
"Not a problem, my temperature gifted friend," Hank said cheerfully.
"Ah, here we are."
He parked the car, then reached into the backseat to get the video camera.
Jonothon listened to her play and sing.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby grinned and pulled his pants off before getting out of the car and tossing his shirt inside.
"Right, let's do this."
Rebekah looked up, blushing slightly.
Hank & Jonothon
Hank got out of the car and turned the video camera on.
"Go for it, Bobby!"
Jonothon just smiled.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby chuckled and launched into song, scaring everyone on the sidewalks of New York.
"Rubber Ducky, you're the one... you make my bathtime lots of fun!"
Rebekah blushed harder, fingers stopping on the guitar.
Hank & Jonothon
Hank chuckled as he filmed Bobby unobtrusively.
No need for him to get caught up in this.
"Why'd yer stop?" Jonothon asked gently.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby kept singing, adding a few well placed hip shakes.
And who says white boys can't dance?
Rebekah shrugged and then started to play a new made up tune, feeling out the music as she went along.
"A thousand nights I'm dreaming of you
Wishing you'd hold me in your arms again
A million days I've lived without you
But the hurting never stops or fades..."
She paused and changed the tune a little.
Hank & Jonothon
Hank noticed the tv crews gathering and grinned to himself.
Well, this was getting interesting.
"Nice," Jonothon commented.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby darted into the closest sex shop and came back out, with a large blow up sex doll.
"Rubber Rebekah, you're the one..."
Rebekah's fingers stopped slightly.
"Merci."
Hank & Jonothon
Hank howled with laughter, still managing to catch the whole debacle on tape.
"No probs, luv."
Jonothon tapped his pencil on the table.
Bobby and Rebekah
"Meet Rubber Rebekah... say hello, Bek!"
Bobby hugged the doll.
"Bonjour! I love Bobby!"
Rebekah started to play again, frowning a little.
"I'm trying to make it through this
I'll still take you everywhere
Not letting go of you, no
But when I try to move on
I can't seem to find my way
I need you
Tonight boy, please stay..."
Hank & Jonothon
And Bobby's life expectancy kept dropping...
Hank shook his head as he kept filming.
Jubes blew a bubble of gum out of her mouth as she turned on the tv. And stared.
"HEY EVERYONE! BOBBY'S ON TV! YOU HAVTA SEE THIS!"
Jonothon leant his chin on his hand as he listened to her.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby shook his butt for the camera.
"You are so be-yo-ti-ful to meeeee!"
Rebekah's fingers flew over the frets of her guitar.
"And when I'm falling asleep
And you're still playing on my mind
I'll think about the times we shared
And maybe then I'll feel alright..."
Hank, Demetria & Jonothon
Hank sorta faded into the background as the police arrived.
"Oh my..." Demetria said slowly, staring at the tv.
"Jono's going to kill him."
Jonothon smiled as he listened to her sing and play.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby noticed the police and eeped, and ran to the car.
"Let's go!"
He hopped in, giggling.
Rebekah changed to a new tune and looked thoughtful.
"I wish I could say everything I wanted
I wish I could tell you how I feel
I wish this world was a better place for you..."
Hank & Jonothon
Hank nodded and ran to the car as well. He got in and started it before joining the traffic.
"Please replace your vestments, Bobby."
Jonothon sighed slightly.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby chuckled and put his pants back on.
"You're lucky I wore underwear today."
Rebekah's voice rose to a higher octave comfrotably.
"But sleep darling
Then you can pretend we were all a dream
It's cool to hate me
It doesn't matter to me anyway
And I'm so sorry
That I could never be what you wanted..."
Hank & Jonothon
"I'lll pretend I didn't hear that and force the mental image from my mind," Hank said.
He grinned slightly at Bobby.
"HEY, BROODBOY! TURN ON YOUR TV!" Jubes yelled, pounding on his door.
"And wot's got yer knickers in a twist?" Jonothon asked, flicking the tv on.
"Oh, it's not my knickers."
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby grinned back and buttoned his shirt up.
Rebekah sat up and froze.
"Um... those are... I am going to kill him."
Hank & Jonothon
"One successful feat completed," Hank said.
"You have admirably paid your forfeit on the chess game. Congratulations. I look forward to watching you stay alive."
Jubilee snickered and ran off, evil commited.
"No, I am."
Jonothon's fists clenched.
Bobby and Rebekah
"Hmm, yeah, I don't think Jono or Bek will be too impressed."
Bobby chuckled.
"Oh dear."
Rebekah ran a gentle hand through his hair.
Hank & Jonothon
"It could have been worse," Hank said cheerfully.
"It could have been Faith's fetching black underthings."
"I. Am. Gonner. Kill. 'Im," Jonothon spat in rage.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby nodded.
"That's true... I don't fance fighting both Faith and Logan."
Rebekah kissed Jono's forehead.
"Can I watch?"
Hank & Logan
"That would be diastrous," Hank said.
They arrived at the mansion in short order and Jubilee ran out, cackling madly.
"Ooooh boy, are you gonna get it, Drakey!"
"He's back, let's go," Jonothon growled.
Bobby, Rebekah and Faith
Bobby hopped out of the car and grinned, Rebekah's underwear still on his head.
Rebekah hopped up and started down the stairs.
Faith pulled up and rose an eyebrow.
So what she'd witnessed in the city had actually been Bobby, like she'd first thought...
Hank & Jonothon
"Am I supposed to discern from this statement that the mansion is aware of this freak occurence?" Hank said.
"If that means, does everyone know? Yeah, I think all of the city knows now!"
Jubilee pointed and laughed.
"You...hehehe...sang...ahahahaha! The doll! HAHAHAHAHA! Jono's gonna kill you!"
Jonothon stomped down the stairs, brown eyes blazing.
Bobby, Faith and Rebekah
Bobby grinned and started to dance again.
"Can I get a little whoop whoop?!"
Faith shook her head, laughing as she went inside.
Rebekah held back and let Jono lead the way.
Hank & Jonothon
"WHOOP WHOOP!" Jubilee yelled, dancing with him, yellow raincoat flying out to her sides.
"Gotta admit, ya got some flair, Ice!"
"He played against me in chess, and lost," Hank said.
"That was the forfeit."
Jonothon threw the mansion's front door back and headed towards Bobby on a search and destroy mission.
Bobby and Rebekah
Bobby eeped and backed away from Jono.
"Ok, don't do anything rash, Jono!"
Bobby darted past him and went inside, grabbing the remote and taking up his old threat.
"NOBODY MOVE!"
Rebekah looked worried.
"Oh God..."
Hank, Demetria & Jonothon
"Bobby! No!"
Hank rushed to the rec room, Jubilee on his heels.
"You wreck it, Ice, and I'll make sure you never sleep again!"
"Bobby, I was watching something!" Demetria protested from her seat in the air.
"Yer still gonna die, Drake!"
Jonothon moved forward determindly.
Bobby and Rebekah
"Then call him off!" Bobby exclaimed.
He held it tightly.
"That's right, I'M ON THE EDGE!"
Rebekah perched herself down on the couch.
"Can I at least have my underwear? I do like that pair."
Hank & Jonothon
"Indeed!"
Hank grabbed Jonothon and pulled him off the floor.
"WOT'S THE BIG IDEA?! PUT ME DOWN NOW, YOU BIG BLUE BASTARD!"
Jonothon kicked at the air, arms pinioned to his sides.
Bobby
Bobby still looked wary.
"HE STILL WANTS TO KILL ME! I SUGGEST YOU STOP HIM, OTHERWISE YOU'LL BE WATCHING THE CHRISTIAN MUSIC CHANNEL ALL WEEK!"
Hank & Jonothon
"I will stop him, Bobby, now put the remote down!" Hank said.
Jonothon struggled violently, telepathic voice swearing a blue streak and promising near divine retrubution for both Hank and Bobby.
Bobby and Rebekah
"Send him away first!" Bobby cried.
Rebekah rolled her eyes again.
"Oh good Lord."
Hank & Jonothon
"I am afraid, Bobby, that may be an impossibility," Hank said carefully as he held onto Jonothon.
Jonothon glared at Bobby.
"I'm gonner gut yer like a fish, Drake."
Bobby
"I didn't hurt Rebekah!" Bobby protested, squeezing the remote.
Hank & Jonothon
"Bobby, I would advise you to reconsider that rash action," Hank protested.
"No, but yer said some rather nasty things I'm gonner take out ov yer bloody 'IDE!"
Jonothon kicked wildly.
Bobby
Bobby heard the remote crack.
"Jono, I didn't DIRECTLY hurt her... and I didn't say anything too mean!"
Jonothon & Hank
"Put me down, Doctor McCoy," Jonothon said as he stopped struggling.
After all, he could always hurt Bobby later, when he wasn't holding the remote.
Hank gingerly put JOnothon down, ready to grab him again.
Bobby and Faith
Bobby started to slowly set the remote down, his eyes on Jono.
Faith walked up behind Logan.
"There's another remote control crisis in the rec room."
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
JOnothon walked over to Bek and hugged her gently.
"I'll kill 'im later, when he's not near the remote," he told her privately.
"I think you can put the remote down now, Bobby," Hank said.
"Should we consider the logistics of tonight's plans?"
Logan turned and kissed her gently, then faced towards the rec room to yell.
"IF THAT REMOTE GETS BROKEN, AND I CAN'T WATCH MY SPORTS, THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY, ICICLE! THAT IS A PROMISE, NOT A THREAT!"
Bobby, Rebekah and Faith
Rebekah kissed Jono's cheek.
"Sounds lovely."
Bobby put the remote down on the table.
"Yes, let's discuss this. Medlabs?"
Faith chuckled slightly.
"So, did you manage to get in touch with Logan? I still have that message for him."
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
"I thought so." Jonothon kissed her gently again.
"Induibatly! Let us retire to my domicile, and then concoct the cunning plan which will procure those heavenly sweet treats know as Twinkies!"
Hank almost bounded towards his lab.
"Yeah, I did," Logan said.
He nipped at her neck sharply.
"He said he was looking for a gorgeous lady called Faith."
Rebekah, Bobby and Faith
Rebekah smiled and kissed him back.
"Shall we go back to your room?"
Bobby chuckled and followed after him.
"Hanky boy, you're so gosh darn cute!"
Faith licked at his neck.
"That's good. Coz Faith bought some new pants."
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
"Yeah, alright."
Jonothon nuzzled her neck lightly.
"Cute?" Hank repeated thoughtfully.
"Cute? I am sure, Bobby, that you have a larger vocabularly then that. Be erudite! Engage in hyberbole and exaggeration! Debate, theorise and converse!"
"Ah, well, that's good."
Logan put an arm around her waist.
"Do you want to show me those new pants?"
Rebekah, Bobby and Faith
Rebekah smiled and took his hand, leading him back to his room.
Bobby chuckled.
"Um... handsome, smurf-like, blue, adorable?"
Faith smiled.
"Didn't just buy pants..."
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
Jonothon squeezed her fingers gently as they walked up the stairs.
"So, wot do yer want to do?"
"Getting better," Hank said.
He opened the elevator to downstairs and stepped inside.
"Really now?"
Logan lifted an eyebrow.
"Then you'll just have to show me everything, darlin'."
Rebekah, Bobby and Faith
Rebekah opened the door to his room and flopped on the bed.
"Hmmm, it is up to you. Did you want to keep working on your music?"
Bobby started to dance like an idiot again.
"Rubber Hanky, you're the one..."
Faith smiled and started to walk away.
"Maybe."
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
"Mmm..."
Jonothon sat on the bed and kissed her softly.
"Maybe a little us time instead? We can plan Bobby's downfall and death."
"Please, do not even joke about that," Hank said.
"Perhaps if you were of the feminine gender, then perhaps, but alas, you are irrevocably, irretrievely male."
Logan shoved his hands in his pockets and stalked after her.
"Hmm..."
Rebekah, Bobby and Faith
Rebekah kissed him back, pulling him down on top of her.
"Sounds good."
Bobby giggled.
"You make my bath time lots of fuuuuuuun!"
Faith turned the corner and went into his room.
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
Jonothon sighed slightly and kissed her neck.
"Mmmm...I think...I'll just kick him into an early grave. I've got steelcapped boots."
"Bobby, desist!" Hank protested.
They arrived down in the labs and he stepped out then went to his office. He put some papers on the other office chair onto his already overflowing desk.
"I have been working almost with rest on the Legacy virus...excuse the disorder of my domain."
Logan grinned to himself as he followed her inside and then closed the door behind them.
Rebekah, Bobby and Faith
Rebekah ran a hand through his hair.
"Sounds like an excellent plan."
Bobby nodded.
"You should see my room... I'm not working on anything important, so I guess I have no excuse..."
Faith turned around and smiled slightly.
"Hey you."
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
"Yeah, I think it will work," Jonothon said.
"I just have to make sure he;s not near the remote."
"Life, a very important thing to be working on," Hank said.
He sat down in one office chair and gestured for Bobby to take the other.
"Now, what nefarious plans do you have conjured for tonight?"
"Hey," Logan growled softly.
Rebekah, Bobby and Faith
Rebekah giggled slightly.
"Yeah..."
Bobby plonked himself down.
"Well... we steal Scott's car... or Chuckles's car. And we go into town, and get some twinkies!"
Faith moved to him and kissed him gently.
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
"Now that's settled...what do yer want to do?" JOnothon asked softly.
"Ah, well thought out, simple, and hardly likely to go wrong," Hank said.
"But whose car? Scott will most surely be more annoyed."
Logan kissed her back softly.
Rebekah, Bobby and Faith
"Hmmm..."
Rebekah shrugged, reaching for her guitar.
Bobby nodded.
"Then Scott's."
Faith pulled away slightly.
"So..."
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
Jonothon settled back onto his bed.
"Play, and I'll listen. Oh, here's a thought. Turn Bobby's arousal off. And keep it off."
"Our Fearless Leader has grown too complacent of late," Hank said, nodding.
"Hmmm...while we're discussing deeds of a mildly amusing nature, what else can we do? And to who?"
"Gonna show me these things ya bought?" Logan said.
Rebekah, Bobby and Faith
Rebekah clicked, then let her fingers wander over her guitar, playing out a mournful tune.
"Dear Father
I have some questions
Will you please answer
This time
I need to know this
So I can move on
So I can heal and
Live my life..."
Bobby groaned.
"I hate when Bek does that."
Faith nodded.
"Sit down then."
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
Jonothon closed his eyes slightly, keeping a lid on his temper. Just thinking about Bek's father made him see red.
"Does what, my friend?" Hank asked, slightly puzzled.
"Alrighty then..."
Logan sat down on the bed.
Rebekah, Bobby and Faith
Rebekah's eyes started shining with tears slightly.
"Dear Father
I'm still a child in ways
I've never really grown up at all
And for some reason
And I can't explain this
But I need you to accept me now
Dear Father
Why did you hurt me
And why didn't you seem to care
Please tell me
I've gotta know this time
Why have you never loved me?..."
Bobby pouted.
"Turns me off."
Faith arranged herself so she was out of his sight and put on a black lacy gstring, and a short, it'smorelikeabelt skirt.
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
Jonothon's fingers clenched slightly into the fabric of the sheets.
"And that does not elucidate at all," Hank said.
"Or in the vernaculer...that was as clear as mud, Bobby."
"Mmm, nice," Logan said approvingly.
Rebekah, Bobby and Faith
Rebekah's fingers slowed down and she pushed her guitar aside, wiping her eyes.
"Mm, so um..."
Bobby looked at his crotch.
"She turned my arousal off."
Faith grinned and then changed into a pair of black leather hotpants.
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
" can tell yer why 'e didn't luv yer...cos he was an iddiot with shite for brains," Jonothon said.
"He had no place being a father at all. Neither yer mother being a mum."
"Ah, I see..." Hank said carefully.
"Does she do this often?"
Logan nodded slightly, grinning appreciatively.
Rebekah, Bobby and Faith
Rebekah looked at the bedspread for a long moment, then kissed Jono gently.
"I want to 'ate him, but I do not sink I can."
Bobby nodded.
"Yes, when I annoy her. But I bet Jono told her to this time."
Faith grinned and stepped over to Logan, standing in front of him with her hands on her hips.
Jonothon, Hank & Logan
"I can 'ate him though. I can hate 'im a lot."
JOnothon stroked his fingers through her hair.
"And I swear, Bek, if he ever touches you again..."
"Perhaps I should own up to my part in it," Hank offered uneasily.
"Although..."
"What?" Logan asked, leaning back on his hands and looking up at her.
"It's all very nice, darlin'."