"Surprise!" everybody screamed as Dawn walked into the house she and Clark shared. She had known that Clark was planning this party for days, but she still pretended to be surprised. A bunch of people from the mansion and from the SLayer school were there. Dawn observed that aliens must have been invited, because there was a container of kero on the table with the alcoholic beverages.
Julie and Friday
"Julie!" Friday exclaimed. "I can't believe you're here."
"Well, I am. I can't believe you're here. You would have had to come all the way from Ohio!"
Friday grinned.
"Part of my charm. No actually Dawn knows a whole bunch of people from the slayer school, so yeah."
"Ahh, I see."
"So, how are the twins?"
"Oh they're gorgeous," Julie grinned. "And I'm not at all biased."
Friday grinned back, and Julie pointed to the kero keg on the table.
"Now that habit I will never understand. How can anyone drink kerosene?"
"That's Daths for you. O'course, 'tis risky for any hybrid to try so... I haven't. But then, I never really got into alcohol - or its ilk - so y'know. Not interested. But ahh, you may want to mention to B'E and Tom when they're older that if they want to try kero, they should check with a healer that it's not going to kill them."
"Thanks for the advice."
Dawn
Dawn bounced over to Julie and Friday, and hugged them as she'd been hugging everybody.
"It might not be my actualy birthday, but it's still fun to celebrate it. Thanks for coming," she said. She looked at the girl standing on the other side of Friday. "Do I know you?"
"I'm Armelle, Day's roommate," Armelle said, shaking Dawn's hand before Dawn flounced away.
"Odd bird, that," Armelle remarked about Dawn.
Friday and Julie
"Yeah... she's odd all right," Julie nodded. "And melodramtic too."
"Drama group?" Friday asked.
"No, naturally."
"Ahh. How'd she end up with a hot guy like Clark? Or am I asking the wrong person?"
"How could you be asking the wrong person?"
"Well, one could expect from someone with your mindset to automatically assume an odd couple gets together because of sex."
"Really, Day! I'm not that one-tracked minded."
"Uh huh."
"Well, maybe a little," Julie grinned. "But they're not really an odd couple. Both of them are..."
"Odd?" Friday joked.
Kitty
"Definitely a little odd," Armelle agreed. "So this is the famous Julie? The one who has lots of sex and lots of babies?" Armelle asked, winking.
~*~*~
Kitty was having a blast. University was hard, so it was nice to have a break. She started dancing. The first one dancing of course, all alone, but she didn't mind.
Julie and Friday
"You've been talking about me," Julie said to Friday in mock annoyance.
"All good things."
"Uh huh," and Julie grinned. "Yeah, well, two sets of twins. B'Elanna and Tom, Tinga and Josh. I name them after TV show characters."
"See? She even admits it," Friday grinned.
Armelle
"I think that if I ever have kids I'd name them after Highlander characters," Armelle said. "I asked Willow about it once, if we could have kids, that is. SHe said only one Slayer had a kid, and she died when he was, like, 4 or so. BUt now that there's so many of us, we should be able to have normal-ish lives."
Friday and Julie
"Well, that's not true," Julie said in surprise. "Faith has a daughter - who's name is Tru no less - and she's a slayer. Of course, as I recall, she also went to some hell dimension to have the baby, so when they returned, said baby is now like, three years old, but that's not the point."
Friday giggled.
"I have the best way of having children without having to deal with pregancy," she grinned.
Julie laughed.
"I'm going going to turn myself into a boy, turn my boy into a girl, and he can have the baby. Ah!"
"And she has her first subject," Julie grinned at Armelle. "Zac Hanson. He has so many children, we - especially Friday - think he needs a taste of his own medicine. In fact, Tru is Zac's kid. And B'E and Tom are his too."
Jessica and Rachel
"Zac Hanson, as in the band Hanson?" Armelle asked, eyes wide. "ANd he knows about slayers and aliens? MMMBop Zac Hanson?" She was definitely surprised.
~*~
JEss and Rachel were a little late to the party, since they had to teleport from Tulsa, and Rach had to find a sitter for Annie, but they arrived, gave Dawn hugs & presents, and ran over to Julie and Friday and some other girl. Jessi hear the other girl mention Zac as they approached.
"Oh, we're talking about my brother? Did he get somebody pregnant again," she asked with a mock sigh.
Friday and Julie
"Not that I know of," Julie replied.
"Yeah, Zac knows all about us," Friday said. "He's a Dathrian too, but he's a full-blood, and not a hybrid like me."
"Oh, Armelle, these are Jess and Rachel. Rachel's had Zac's kid too. Let me see..." Julie frowned and start counting off on her fingers. "I've had B'E and Tom, and I'm the president of the IGP2ZH. That's 'I Got Pregnant to Zac Hanson' Club. Rach has Annie, she's vice pres. Shannon is a regular, and she has Briar. Annika is a reg too, but she can't think of any other title to be. She has Brett. And then Faith has Tru. There was some girl named Desiree who had Dee Dee. Umm, oh and Nyx had Saku. And I think that's everyone. At least, everyone that we know about. Unless Zac hasn't told me something. Or he doesn't know. So that's eight. And there's two more on the way."
"Three, if you count the one he's going to have himself," Friday grinned.
Rachel and Jessica
Jess wrinkled her nose. "Why you're all so interested in having sex with my BIG BROTHER, I don't know. EW."
"Your brother?" Armelle asked.
"Yeah, Jessi Hanson, younger sister to the Mmmbop boys."
"I'm Armelle, so you're an alien?"
"Yep," Jessi said, "THis is my best friend Rachel, she's an Animorph, which is complicated to explain. Are you British?" she asked.
"No," Armelle said, obviously a little irritated that anybody would mistake a Dane for a Brit. "I'm Danish."
"Danish, like from Denmark?" Rachel asked. "I saw a movie about a Danish prince called 'The Prince & Me" it was soo romantic, but really cheesy." Armelle laughed out loud.
"What's so funny?" Rachel asked, confused.
Julie and Friday
"Meet Princess Armelle of Denmark," Friday grinned.
"Oooh, are you a Princess?" Julie asked, eyes gleaming. "Cool! We once had Princess Mia of Genovia go to our school."
Rachel and Jessica
"I'm the princess, but I have older brothers, so I don't have to rule, thank God. But I know the movie you're talking about. I thought it was really stupid," she said, giggling. "Mia's nice. I've only met her in passing at a ball, but she seemed really nice. What's an animorph?"
"It's short for 'animal morpher,'" Rachel explained. "My friend Marco made it up. We can turn into animals, but only for 2 hours at a time."
"MArco's so in love with you," Jessi teased.
"Shut up, he is not."
"Denial is not a river in Egypt," Jessi said in a sort of sing-song voice. Rachel stuck her tongue out.
"Mature," Armelle commented, laughing.
Julie and Friday
"Speaking of boys with crushes," Julie said with a grin. "Isn't that Micah? The sexy little bat-boy mutant who has a thing for you, Jess?"
She nodded her head in Micah's general direction.
"Sexy little bat-boy mutant?" Friday repeated.
"Yeah. See those wings? All bat. And he has sonar too," Julie nodded. "He was a year behind me in high school, so I imagine he's graduating next year."
Jessica and Rachel
Jessi blushed. "Doesn't he think I'm a lesbian or something?"
"He just didn't understand. Maybe. I think he still likes you, though."
Julie and Friday
"Some guys find that a turn on," Julie teased.
Friday rolled her eyes.
"Julie, you have issues."
"This is a given."
"Why does he think you're a lesbian?" Friday asked.
Rachel and Jessica
"She went through an anti-boys phase," Rachel said, trying to explain without telling strangers about Jessi, but Jessi was over it.
"I was raped," Jessi explained. "And I went through a suicidal depressed phase. But I got over it. The right guy is out there somewhere, I just haven't found him yet." What Jessi didn't know is that Micah overheard the whole thing. It suddenly all made sense.
Friday and Julie
"If he isn't, you can always find the right girl, and Friday can change her into one," Julie joked.
"I wouldn't do any such thing," Friday retorted. "For one thing, change in gender also means a change in body chemistry - they can end up becoming a different person, especially if it were permanent. Plus, people react differently to males than they do to females (no matter how much you passionately desire equal rights). Better off finding someone who is male from the beginning."
Jessica
"Plus that would just be weird," Jess said. "I'll stick with waiting for God to put the right guy smack in my path," she said, nodding.
Friday and Julie
"Good on you," Friday nodded. "Once upon a time I would have said I don't believe in God, but I also said that I don't believe in vampires, so..."
"Your belief system has been completely ruined?" Julie joked.
"Yes," Friday grinned.
"Anyway, I've had enough standing around chatting. I'm gonna go dance," Julie went on.
And she headed onto the dance floor.
Dawn and Rachel
Dawn headed over to where Friday, Armelle, Jessi and Rachel were talking.
"Hey, thanks again for coming. I hate to do this, but what are your names again?" Dawn asked, blushing.
"I'm Armelle, this is Friday," Armelle said.
"You know, Julie's best friend?" Rachel reminded.
"Oh yeah!" Dawn said, "I've heard a lot about you."
Friday
"I've heard a lot about you too. Glad to finally have a real meeting," Friday grinned. "I'm personally amazed I got invited to your party. Happy birthday, by the way."
Dawn, Jessica and Rachel
"Thanks," Dawn said. "It's not my actual birthdate, nobody knows when that is, but it's what my birth certif says."
"HEy, let's dance," Jessi said, dragging Rachel onto the dance floor.
"Are you adopted then?" Armelle asked.
"Not exactly," Dawn said, pausing. "I wasn't actually born. These monks were protecting a big mall of mystickal energy, so they took living tissue and blood from my sister Buffy, the last "The Slayer," and created my body, at age 14. Then they filled my body with the energy, and used magic to create all our memories, making us think that I was Buffy's actual sister. That clear at all?"
"I think so," Armelle said. "Are you a slayer then?"
"No," Dawn said. "I'm, well, I'm kinda like a portal in human form. My energy, my essence, is the gateway to other dimensions. I'm also a bit of a witch in training. A lot of my spells go kaplooey, unfortunately. Hey, you're the sex-changer, right?" Dawn asked Friday. "My friend Dem & I once cast a spell to turn her brother into a girl, which wound up being quite interesting. . . "
Friday
Friday grinned.
"I heard about that," she said. "It's heck fun changing people genders, although I haven't done it for a fulll month straight for anyone."
An huge grin appeared on her face.
"But I will make Zac a girl for a year," she went on gleefully. "I'm gonna make his a girl, get him - her pregnant and she's going to find out what it feels like. Ha! Wait... you do portals? To what? Parallel worlds or something?"
Dawn
"Yeah," Dawn said slowly, "Alternate dimensions," she started to catch Friday's drift, "WHere time moves at a different speed. Hey, girls!" Dawn called, "Jessi, Rach, Julie, c'mere! I think I know what you're thinking Friday, and I feel inspired."
"I don't know if I want to know," Armelle said, a little worried.
Friday and Julie
"Well, it's like this," Friday said gleefully as their friends rejoined them. "The biggest problem with making Zac a girl, for a year is that it would make things a little awkward - I couldn't change Zac back into a boy for special appearences, otherwise he'd lose the baby. But if we could send him - her - to another dimension for that time..."
"Friday!" Julie gasped. "Ooooh... you're evil."
"I am not. I'm a warrior against evil," Friday winked.
Dawn
"Oh my goodnes," Rach said, turning the idea over in her head. "We could even go with him, you know, so he wouldn't be lonely, and to make sure everything went well, and also to gloat about him finally being in our place."
"Hmm," Dawn thought it over for a moment. "I know just the place! Well, you see, a lot of dimensions are bad places. Hell-like and all that, but some, well, some are just, like, a world from a book or a movie, or are parallel to this with a few differences. We can go to Narnia. Either that, or the World Without Shrimp, which is identical to this, only with no shrimp, and the fact that one year there is three days here."
Friday and Julie
"No shrimp, huh?" Friday asked. "What about prawns?"
"Aren't they the same thing?" Julie asked.
"I believe so. But 'Mericans seem to have this dilusion that Aussies say 'put another shrimp on the barbie', when we call 'em prawns. And as to that I have never met anyone who barbequed prawns. Sausages, steak and onions, but no prawns."
Dawn and Rachel
"I'm a vegan," Rachel said, grimacing.
"We barbeque shrimp all the time," Dawn said. "Anyways, we could totally go there, and be back in a little less than 3 days."
Julie and Friday
"The World Without Shrimp sounds fine by me," Friday said.
"Aww, does it have to be just like our world?" Julie asked. "Couldn't we go something holiday like?"
"We could go on a holiday in the World Without Shrimp. How about the Carribean?"
Rachel, Dawn and Jessica
"SOunds good to me," Rachel said. "ANy forseeable problems Dawnie?"
"Well, just as long as we try to avoid New York, Tulsa, Cleveland, New Mexico and LA. It's a parallel world. So there's versions of us living parallel lives, except, like, they may have made different decisions, you know? Like, onc Anya made this world appear that was identical to ours, except my family never moved to Sunnydale, we moved to Cleveland instead. So all the vampires & demons that Buffy had killed in this world weren't dead in the other, so everything was different in Sunnydale."
"That kinda makes sense," Jessi said. "So, there could be a JEssi there who's still blonde and doesn't have any piercings?"
"Could be," Dawn said. "You never know."
"Oh," Armelle said. "This sounds like fun. I so want to go now."
Friday and Julie
"And Australia," Friday pointed out. "Just in case I'm still there."
"If it's a parallel world, mightn't none of us be there for 3 days? I mean, what if we're doing the same thing to Zac in that world that we are in ours?" Julie asked.
Friday cracked up laughing.
"Funny, huh? Maybe I shouldn't complicate things..."
Dawn
"Well," Dawn said, trying to think. "I think if we go on holiday, we shouldn't have any problem at all. OR we could go to another parallel universe, but it's the world without ice cream, and it's not fun at all," Dawn said, nodding. "Although, there is this other world that's exactly the same as this one, except Queen Elizabeth the 1st is still the Queen, because Angelus and Darla turned her into a vampire, along with most of Parliament."
Armelle had to crack up laughing at that.
Julie and Friday
"A whole country ruled by vampires?" Friday questioned. "That sounds a little... freaky."
"Ooooh," said Julie, "Hey can we go into one where females are the dominant sex?"
Dawn, Jessica and Rachel
"There is one world that Dave Farouq El-Abar told me about," Dawn said, slowly. "It's a parallel world, so it's good versus evil. Except, the dominant world culture is Amazonian. Women are the warriors, in control of everything, and the men stay at home. They're not allowed to leave, unless escorted by a woman. They do the cooking and cleaning and childcare, and the women, use them for sex. We could go there," Dawn suggested, carefully.
"You mean, in this world, instead of my brother, I'd be first in line?" armelle asked.
"Quite possibly," Dawn answered.
"What happens if a girl gets raped?" Jessi asked.
"I don't think you want to know," Dawn said.
"Oh, we do," Rach answered.
"Okay, well, if a guy rapes a girl, he gets caught & tied dwn, and they broadcast it on live tv, on every chanel, as the girl who was raped, or if she's afraid, her sisters and/or best friends, um, well, cut off his penis and testicles."
Julie and Friday
Friday winced.
"Whoo hoo! Live castration!" Julie exulted.
"I've been a guy, that would suck. They'd deserve it, but it would still suck," Friday said.
"That's the point," Julie said, nodding her head enthusatically. "Rapists should be denied the ability to gain any further pleasure in that department. Let's go there! Please!"
"Only problem is that Zac would be a girl, and therefore would still be of the dominant sex. We're trying to show him what pregnancy is like. It's supposed to be a horrible, world shattering experience for him."
"One word: labour."
"Point."
"Actually, I take that back. Labour is like, the good part. I mean, its painful at the time (and there's no way we're letting his use drugs), but it's soon over and the pain is forgotten when youd your baby for the first time. It's the nine months leading up to that, that suck."
"Good. The more he suffers, the bigger the lesson he learns," Friday nodded.
Rachel and Jessica
"Pregnancy was pretty bad for me, considering I had, like 7 months of boils and blisters & leprosy inside my absomen," Rach added. "If Zac had had to carry Annie to term, he wouldn't have made it."
"Tigger's a great guy, but he can totally be a wimp when it comes to pain," Jess added.
Julie and Friday
"All males are," Friday nodded.
"Says the authority on the subject."
"Too right."
Julie giggled.
"Actually that's something I've been trying to figure out," she said, "why would a baby curse her mommy's womb?"
"Powers were probably coming into effect, but Annie probably couldn't control them. Hello, fetus!"
Rachel and Dawn
"Hank said something about hormone fluctions affecting fetal empathy-- but I never understand most of what comes out of his mouth," Rachel said.
"So, somebody pick a world, and pick a day." Dawn said, giggling.
Friday and Julie
"Have to be a day where we can meet up with Zac..." Friday said. "Obviously. Have to be a few days where Zac we can get away without there being any hassles. Three days you said, right Dawn?"
"I want to go to the Amazonian world," Julie nodded.
Ending as written by Joy
They all agreed it would happen sometime in mid-December, and finished their diabolical holiday plans before getting back to the party-ness.