Taylor
Taylor picked up the phone.
He'd been picking it up and putting it down for almost half an hour.
A couple of times he'd managed to dial.
Twice he'd heard it ring.
Only two or three times before he'd hang up.
He banged his head back against the wall, and closed his eyes as he dialled again.
He was either going to do this, or he wasn't.
And if waited any longer, it wouldn't make it any easier.
He put the phone to his ear and heard it ring.
Mouse.
Mouse stared at the phone for a few minutes, listening to it ring.
Eventually, she picked it up. Fafnir nudged his way into her lap as she spoke.
"Hello?"
Taylor
Taylor held himself back from clutching the phone when she answered.
It was just over a week since he'd heard her voice.
Did she always sound that innocent when she answered the phone?
Mouse.
"Hello?" Mouse repeated when no one answered.
"If this is you, Blakesley, I swear to GOD I will kill you before you touch my babies or Taylor. People aren't property, so just go...do something else! Useful! Benefitting humanity rather then figuring out new ways to hurt people."
Taylor
Taylor closed his eyes again listening to her. Oh God...
But did that mean she wasn't as mad anymore?
Lost in thought, he forgot to say anything.
Mouse.
"Nom d'un nom..." Mouse muttered.
"Right, this is obviously a prank call, so I'm going to be hanging up now. I hope you find a better use for your life then annoying people."
Taylor
Taylor's eyes opened.
"No, no, no! Don't... hang up..."
He gulped.
Mouse.
"Taylor?"
Mouse felt tears start to slip down her face.
"Taylor, is that you?"
Taylor
Taylor began to run his fingers through his hair, but ended up clutching his fringe.
"Yeah... it is..." he said softly, noting the tone of her voice.
"Please don't cry, please?"
Mouse.
"I ca-an't help it," Mouse hiccuped.
She started to cry harder.
Taylor
Taylor cringed and covered his face.
"Jane, please... I can't... can you at least try?"
Mouse.
Mouse put the phone down for a minute and grabbed some tissues, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose miserably. He hated her. He was going to leave. This was the 'Dear Jane' letter in a phonecall. God, she was going to die.
"Ok..."
She picked up the phone again, more composed.
Taylor
Taylor took a deep breath.
"Ok. Ok..."
He gulped again.
"I know you're probably sick of hearing it, but I am so, so sorry. For whatever I did..."
Mouse.
Mouse listened silently, blinking slightly to keep the tears at bay.
"You weren't yourself. Neither was I. If I hadn't wolfed, I would've...probably tried to actually dissuade you. I didn't. I wanted it. Well, the wolf wanted it. That's all kind of a mixed up thing with me. But you know that..."
She took in deep breath.
"I said some things I shouldnt've said, and did some things I shouldnt've done as well. I don't care anymore, I just want you to come home."
Taylor
Taylor bit his lip, holding back his own tears.
"I can't," he said finally.
"If I... come back... it's only going to happen again. I know I can't know that for sure, but it's better to be safe than sorry, right?"
He scratched his head, then his neck.
"I know... I've hurt you, a lot. And I don't want to do that. I don't want it to happen. I just need... to get it sorted out."
Mouse.
"I'd rather you were here," Mouse said softly.
Didn't he get it? Anyway he could hurt her, she'd mostly already been hurt. She'd been hit harder. She was a streetkid, she was used to being hurt. But he made that not matter so much, what she had been. What she was.
"You haven't hurt me in anyway that won't heal. Already has, for the most part. I just want you to come home."
Taylor
"Ok, you might not care if you get hurt," Taylor began, "but I do. I hate it. I can't stand seeing you like that, and knowing that it's my fault all the time."
He closed his eyes.
"I think... I think I just need time."
Mouse.
"It's not always you," Mouse said.
"It's hardly ever you."
Dammit, soon she was going to start playing the 'children miss you' guilt card.
Taylor
"How can yelling at you not be me?" Taylor asked.
"How can hitting you... how can being kidnapped, and how can raping you not be me?" his voice cracked slightly.
"I don't know what's happening to me, but I do know that I don't want to be an abusive boyfriend."
Mouse.
"I have seen abusive," Mouse said dryly.
"Often and in numbers. Trust me, one bruise doesn't make you abusive. It's when broken bones start factoring in, that's abuse. I miss you, I want you to come home. I miss you so much..."
Taylor
"One hit is the start of others," Taylor pointed out.
"As soon as I got here I was threatening Zac. I miss you too, will all my heart, but I don't know when I'll turn... rabid, again. And I don't want you to be there when it happens. You deserve so much better than that."
Mouse.
Mouse felt her eyes start to tear up again.
"I just want you. I *love* you. You know how hard that is to even admit for me? Everyone I love *dies*. Violently. It's like tempting the universe."
Taylor
"Well... thank you for reminding me," Taylor said quietly, thoughts instantly turning to Blakesley.
He shook them off.
"I love you. So much. But I have to stop hiding stuff from you, and I just have to... sort out when I can. That came out wrong. I... I have to find out what's going on and deal with it, before I know it's safe to return."
Mouse.
"I can't do this..." Mouse gasped out.
"I'm dying here, Taylor. I love you. I want to see you. Can't we even meet somewhere, if only for like, 10 minutes?"
Taylor
"Oh God..."
Taylor cringed, closing his eyes again.
"Maybe... maybe in a week or so. Or a couple of weeks. I don't know. But I... I hope... I mean..."
He clenched his fists, annoyed with all his stuttering.
"I don't want to tease you or anything."
Mouse & Keltie.
"Fine. Ok, just...fine."
Mouse massaged her forehead. So frustrated. Calm, calm, calm...
And right on cue, Flynn started to wail. Which set Melusine off. Jason was a good baby. The other two were terrors.
Mouse got up off her bed, cradling the cordless phone between her face and her shoulder.
"Hey, flyboy...what's the matter, huh? Come on. Up you get..."
She picked Flynn up and held him carefully. Keltie stepped in and picked up Melusine.
"Thanks for getting her, Keltie."
"Nae a problem, filly."
Taylor
Taylor rubbed his forehead, and then his reddening eyes as he listened in fro a moment.
"You've been getting the flowers, right?"
Mouse & Flynn.
"Uh huh," Mouse said.
She petted Flynn and he started to purr, a heavy rumbling sound of contentment. His wings fluttered slightly, small downy stubs as yet.
"They've been lovely. Thank you."
Taylor
Taylor shifted slightly, so his back was straight up against the wall as he sat on his bed.
"I guess I kinda hope they might make up for what I'm about to tell you," he raised his eyebrows.
Mouse & Flynn.
Mouse's hands tightened on Flynn's body until he let out a mew of distress, then she let go.
"Which is?"
Taylor
Taylor closed his eyes, counted to five, then opened them again.
"I'm calling off the wedding until further notice."
He bit his lip, making sure his voice didn't shake.
Mouse.
Mouse sat down on the ground heavily. Flynn started to cry again and she soothed him absently.
"What?"
Oh so intelligent, Mouse, she thought to herself.
Taylor
Taylor took a deep breath, hating himself again.
"Seems I can even hurt you over the phone," he managed a short, fake chuckle.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know how long it's going to take. No one does for sure."
Mouse.
"Ok..."
Mouse blinked back more tears. He was going to leave her. God oh god, could someone just put her out her misery?
Taylor
"I'm sorry," Taylor couldn't stop his voice cracking, as the tears began to actually fall.
"But I promise, I promise I will be back. I still want to marry you. I just hope you will feel the sme when the time comes."
Mouse.
"J'adore tu, mon couer," Mouse said softly.
Taylor
Taylor gulped, and managed to contain himself.
"Et je t'aime avec tout mon coeur... Est-ce que je peux chanter pour vous?"
Mouse.
"Oui, s'il vous plait," Mouse said softly.
She settled in to listen, Flynn sleeping contentedly in her arms.
Taylor
Taylor sat up again, and took a few breaths to get his breathing back to normal.
"Waking up this morning thinking this can't be real
They say there is nothing love can't heal
Why don't you come on down so you can feel what I feel...
Sitting all alone in this place
Even though we're here face to face
There is nothing gone but there's something wrong
Can't you see?
That I'm stuck here
Underneath
And you're making it
Hard to
Breathe
Take a look around and tell me what you see
You'll find me
Underneath
Underneath..."
Mouse.
Mouse listened, face sad and remote.
"I love your voice..."
Taylor
Taylor rubbed his nose.
"Thanks," he said quietly.
"I umm... I'd better go."
Mouse.
"Oh, ok."
Mouse bit her lip.
"Call me, ok?"
Taylor
"Ok," Taylor replied.
"If you ever need to, you can call me. Ok? You know where I am. I love you."
Mouse.
"I love you," Mouse said softly.
"And I forgive you. Come home when you can."
Taylor
Taylor hung up, held the phone for a moment, then put it down and lay back on his bed. Staring at the ceiling, he became lost in his thoughts again.
She forgave him.Now he had to forgive himself.
Mouse.
Mouse listened to hang up and put Flynn carefully back into his crib. Then she fled into her room and cried her heart out on the already tearsodden pillows.