Rebekah
Rebekah rubbed a hand across her eyes wearily as she sat up from her bed. She glanced across at the empty space next to her and resisted the urge to burst into tears again, instead, getting up and reaching for a jacket. She grabbed her guitar and briefly looked down at her pale blue and white striped pj pants and white singlet and contemplated changing, then shrugged, uncaring.
She passed the rec room, peeking in briefly, then not finding who she wanted, continued on.
She eventually found him and stood behind him for a moment, then speaking.
"Hey Jono, you up for company?"
Jonothon.
"Sure, sit. Angelo gave up a while back."
Jonothon looked up at her from his sprawl in the chair, guitar across his lap.
"Please don't you try and tell me too that Rogue didn't know what she was doin'. Even if she didn't, that cheating lying whoring thief knew very well."
He sighed and passed his hand over his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Bek. You didn't deserve that. I'm...a bit on edge. And you've yer own troubles to want to listen to mine."
Rebekah
Rebekah slid into the chair across from him, standing her guitar against the seat.
"I'm not going to tell you anything about Rogue. She made her decisions. If you don't want to talk about it, then we won't talk about it. Deal?"
Jonothon.
"To tell the truth, I'm sick of everyone, well, mostly everyone taking Rogue's side in it. 'She didn't know what she was doing, her emotional stability was upset at the time...'"
JOnothon's mental voice segued into a feminine whine, then dropped back into his normal tones.
"Least that's what the counsellor told me after I hit the red eyed son of a bitch a few times before Wolvie pulled me off. How you doing?"
He looked at her seriously.
"I worry bout you, sometimes."
Rebekah
Rebekah shrugged.
"I'm not taking sides. It's too much effort and something I don't have the energy for anyway."
She smiled slightly.
"I'm ok. It just... gets a little harder at night. But it's nothing to worry about."
Jonothon.
"It's always harder at night."
Jonothon rubbed his bandages thoughtfully.
"Trust me on that. It's pretty damn hard in the day too."
Rebekah
"Yeah... it's never really good these days, I guess."
Rebekah bit her lip slightly and lifted her guitar into her lap.
"Not even music has saved me lately, I don't know what's going on. And I don't..."
She fell silent.
"Nevermind."
Jonothon.
"You're f*cking sick of all the fake sympathy that's being shovelled out by idiots who have no idea where you're coming from. You're even more sick of all these bratty little bitches who whine non-stop about how bad their life has been and never shut up about. You want to wake up and find this has all been a dream. That it can all go back to being normal, and just the way it was."
A mournful chord shivered out from under Jonothon's fingers.
"And no one can understand how much you want to turn back the clock."
Rebekah
Rebekah's lip quivered slightly.
"Oui," she said sadly.
She wiped a tear from her eye.
"I just don't want to turn into one of the people who whines."
Jonothon.
Jonothon nodded slowly.
"I don't think you could. You have too much strength h'of character."
He touched her shoulder gently.
"I'm really not good at this mushy touch feely stuff, but I'm glad to listen. You're one of the few people I actually care what happens to them."
Rebekah
Rebekah smiled slightly and put her hand over his.
"Merci."
She let her fingers dance across her guitar, playing out a low tune.
"But can we... can we just play or something, I don't want to think at the moment."
Jonothon.
Jonothon nodded.
"Sure. You know the Doors?"
Rebekah
Rebekah nodded.
"Well, not personally," she said, a small smile flittering across her face.
Jonothon.
"Me neither. Though what I wouldn't give to meet them..."
Jonothon shook his head slightly.
"You know, ah...Riders of the storm?"
Rebekah
Rebekah shook her head.
"Can you just... play me something?"
Jonothon.
"Sure."
Jonothon leant over his guitar slightly, recalling the words and the tune.
"Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Into this house we're born
Into this world we're thrown
Like a dog without a bone
An actor out alone
Riders on the storm
There's a killer on the road
His brain is squirmin' like a toad
Take a long holiday
Let your children play
If ya give this man a ride
Sweet memory will die
Killer on the road, yeah
Girl ya gotta love your man
Girl ya gotta love your man
Take him by the hand
Make him understand
The world on you depends
Our life will never end
Gotta love your man, yeah
Wow!
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Into this house we're born
Into this world we're thrown
Like a dog without a bone
An actor out alone
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm
Riders on the storm..."
Jonothon let the last notes die away.
Rebekah
Rebekah sat up straighter and started playing her guitar, fingers dancing across the strings gracefully, as an angry tune played out.
"Burn for me, baby
Dance in the flames
Burn for me, darling
Dance in the flames
You think I'm a monster
Well who's fault is that?
You left me alone
And called me a freak
So I played that part
I acted the monster
I shut them all out
Then you came along
You saw through the sadness
A lone light in the dark
But then you betrayed me
Sent me back on my own
Burn for me, baby
Dance in the flames
Burn for me, darling
Dance in the flames
Thought you were different
Clearly I was wrong
I can see through your bullshit
So don't bother lying
You don't even pretend
That you are sorry
I wish I could hate you
As I hate myself
This cold fury burning
From inside to out
Burn for me, baby
Dance in the flames
Burn for me, darling
Dance in the flames
The flames lick at your body
Scalding you red raw
The colour does suit you
How did I miss it before
That a rogue heart like yours
Cannot easily be snared
Your betrayal cuts deep
A knife in my back
Severing the love
I once had for you
Burn for me, baby
Dance in the flames
Burn for me, darling
Dance in the flames
Burn for me, baby
Dance in the flames
Burn for me, darling
I'll scatter your ashes..."
"Flames" - by Rebekah
Jonothon.
"Angry today."
He was just depressed. The anger had already run its course.
"And it's been a while And everything I can remember And it's been a while And everything I can remember Why must I feel this way? And it's been a while And everything I can remember And it's been a while Jonothon shook his head slightly.
"God, that's a f*cking Wolf song if I ever heard one..."
OOC:'It's been a while' by Staind
Rebekah
Rebekah thought for a moment, then let her fingers change the
tune over her guitar.
"This is the place where I sit
I'm here if you want me
Cause you don't see me
I dream a world where you understand
I'm speechless and faded
Cause you don't see me
The way I wish you would
This is the place in my heart
I wish I was lonely
Cause you don't see me
Cause you don't see me
OOC: "You Don't See Me" - Letters To Cleo
Jonothon.
"She nursed him there ooh over a night When she couldn't hold oh...she folded... And to this day she's glided on When she couldn't hold...she folded... She gave him away when she couldn't hold...no...she folded... God, he just loved Pearl Jam.
OOC: 'Dissident' by Pearl Jam
Rebekah
Rebekah's fingers started playing another song before she
realised.
"Of all the things I've believed in
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Goodbye to you
I still get lost in your eyes
Goodbye to you
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
Goodbye to you
And when the stars fall Rebekah closed her eyes as she finished, taking in a deep breath.
Jonothon.
"You loved him."
Jonothon played a tune softly, not looking at her.
Rebekah
"I did."
Rebekah looked at the ground.
"Did you love Rogue?"
Jonothon.
"I...don't know."
Jonothon looked down, then looked back up.
"But would it hurt this much if I didn't? You're the empath.
I'm only a telepath. I deal with words."
Rebekah
Rebekah looked up at him.
"It's hard to lose someone you love, like you just did. Like we
just did."
She sighed.
"But you know, love's not love unless it hurts like hell."
Rebekah looked down again.
"Sorry, this is bitter Rebekah. I'll be normal in the morning."
Jonothon.
"There is no normal Jono. There is only bitterness and
cynicism." Jonothon intoned.
Rebekah
"Sorry, I..."
Rebekah looked away.
"I shouldn't whinge, when you've had it so much worse than me."
Jonothon.
"I've never had anyone I love die." Jonothon said.
"I just get hurt by them."
Rebekah
"Guess it just sucks all around."
Rebekah shook her head.
"This place is getting too depressing."
Jonothon.
"I know. Even for me, and I've been told by Spike I could
outbrood Angel."
JOnothon's eyes creased slightly in an ironic smile.
"Maybe we all need a break."
Rebekah
"Maybe we should go away again."
Rebekah thought for a moment.
"Just the people who need it."
Jonothon.
"I think Dem's leaving. Going back to England."
Jonothon shook his head.
"Is it too much to ask a guy not to think with his cock? Dem's
*really* hurting. She was hurting before, after what happened. And
then whatever his name is, the merman being a complete and utter
arse."
Rebekah
"Oui, I can feel it. And I would love to change it, but I know I
shouldn't interfere in her life."
Rebekah shrugged.
"That's what hurts... knowing I could take it away, but also
knowing I shouldn't."
Jonothon.
"I can see how it would suck."
JOnothon flexed his hand slightly.
"Especially here."
Rebekah
"It's tempting, you know? When someone who whinges is around,
when I can just take that away and stop the whinging... but if I
take it away, then they'll whinge that they'll whinge that they
don't have it."
Rebekah shrugged again.
"It's confusing. Hey..."
She bit her lip.
"I could be going insane, or I could be sleep deprived, but what
if you, me, and a few others just take off. Go camping, or stay in a
beach house, or go to the snow, or something."
Jonothon.
"Sounds good to me."
Jonothon closed his eyes, then opened them again.
"Sounds bloody good."
Rebekah
"Everyone thinks and feels too loudly here."
Rebekah sat up straighter, setting her guitar on the ground.
"We'll ask Dem and Tav, Bobby, Angelo, Sergei, just everyone
we... we like."
Jonothon.
"The camp was meant to bond us all together. You know, like
the orignal X-men."
Jonothon shook his head.
"Fat chance."
Rebekah
"It might've worked, except there were certain unpleasant
elements that happened."
Rebekah shrugged.
"Anyway, we'll talk to the Professor about a small group going
away."
Jonothon.
"He's more likely to listen to you."
Jonothon's shoulders lifted slightly in what should have been a
sigh.
"You should get some sleep."
Rebekah
"Probably should."
Rebekah got up and kissed his cheek.
"I'll talk to you later."
She lifted her guitar and headed for the doorway.
"Thanks."
And with that, she left.
Jonothon.
"Night, Bek."
Jonothon tuned his guitar by ear, then started to play again
softly.
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been a while since I first saw you
And it's been a while
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been a while since I could call you
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that are rendered
I stretch myself beyond my means
Since I couldn't say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been a while
Since I couldnt say I love myself as well
And it's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do
And it's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear
When I'm with you
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
Have gone and fucked things up again
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been a while since I said I'm sorry
And it's been a while
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been a while but I can still remember just the way you
taste
As fucked up as it all may seem
I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been a while since I said I'm sorry..."
This is the part where I love you too much
Is this as hard as it gets
Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough
I'm yours, you can hold me
I'm empty and achin'
And tumblin' and breakin'
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could
That I dream a million sleepless nights
Well I dream a fire when you're touching my hand
But it twists into smoke when I turn on the lights
It's too complicated
Is this how the book ends
Nothing but good friends?
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
This is the place where I'm falling apart
Isn't this just where we met
And is this the last chance that I'll ever get
Instead of just only
Crystal and see-through
And not enough to you
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could..."
I wasn't so sure she wanted him to stay
What to say...what to say
But soon she was down soon he was low
At a quarter past...a holy no...
She had to turn around
A dissident is here
Escape is never the safest path
Oh a dissident a dissident is here
Always home but so far away
Like a word misplaced
Nothing said, what a waste
When she had contact...with the conflict...
There was meaning, but she sold him to the state
She had to turn around
A dissident is here
Escape is never, the safest path
Oh, a dissident, a dissident is here
A dissident is here
Escape is never, the safest path
Oh, a dissident, a dissident is here
Couldn't hold on...she couldn't hold...no...she folded...
A dissident is here
Escape is never the safest place
A dissident is here..."
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star..."