Anya
Anya sat in the room she shared with Andrew, bored. She was eyeing his computer off, when she saw his plastic doll things sitting on the shelf above the desk. She grinned and went over and picked them up, then spread them out onto the floor, in a full scale battle field.
"Troooggdooooooorrrr!" she yelled, picking up the Trogdor piece and making it attack the Jedi's.
"You will not do that," she said for the Jedi.
"He was a man... no he was a dragon man... or maybe he was just a DRAGON! But he was still TROOOOGGGDOOORRRR!"
"Burninating the country side!" she cried, as Trogdor.
"No, Trogdor, you do not need to burninate the country side."
"Burninating the peasants! Burninating all the peoples! In their THATCHROOF COTTAGES!"
"Trogdor, you will not burninate."
"THATCHROOF COTTAGES! And Trogdor comes in the niiiight!"
Trgodor was "burninating" the Jedi's when Anya accidently snapped the head off Obi-Wan.
"Oh no, dammit."
Anya lifted the Jedi figure up and examined him. "Obi-Wan, you need serious surgery. Report to the medlab." She tossed him onto the desk and rifled through the drawers for the super glue. She found it and glued Obi-Wan's head on. It wasn't until he dried that she found she'd put it on backwards. She giggled and put it back on the shelf, picking up the figurines and placing them in front of Obi-Wan, so hopefully Andrew wouldn't notice until later.
"Trooogdoorrrr strikes again!" Anya giggled.
Andrew
Andrew sighed as he entered the room he shared with Anya. He was tired. Arguing with some of the Slayers over what exactly their duty consisted of, and why they couldn't go shopping yet was immensely unrewarding and not what he had pictured when he had signed up to fight on the side of good. He sat down at his desk to write in his Watcher journals, not immediately noticing anything wrong.
He frowned, and looked at the shelf again. Funny. He could've sworn he'd had them in different positions this morning. "Anya..." he said slowly, "did you do anything to my collectible action figures?"
He hadn't noticed yet that Obi Wan's head was on backwards.
Anya
Anya stifled a giggle.
"No, you told me not to play with them. Because they are expensive and highly breakable."
She stood up from her place on her bed, walked over and kissed Andrew, hoping he'd be so knocked out by the kiss he wouldn't get mad when he discovered his backwards Obi-Wan.
"Well, I'm going to go train with the cannon fodder."
She left quickly, wincing as she waited a scream to erupt.
Andrew
Huh, wha, huh? Andrew shook his head dazedly as Anya left the room. Now he was really worried. He got up to look at them. When he saw Obi Wan's head was on backwards, he couldn't even speak, instead kinda whimpering. "Obi Wan...who has done this to you?" He whispered, before getting up out of his chair. "Anya!"
Anya and Kennedy
"Uh-oh."
Anya took off at a full speed run, looking for a place to hide. She ran into Kennedy on the way.
"Anya, what's happened?"
"Trogdor killed Obi-Wan!" Anya screeched, still running.
"You played with his action figures?!" Kennedy called after her.
"NO, TROGDOR DID! BYE!" Anya took off faster, looking around desperately. She eventually charged into the broom closet and sat down, breathing heavily.
Andrew
Andrew took down the abused figure of Obi Wan carefully. "I'll see you get a proper burial," Andrew promised solemnly, before going after Anya. "Anya!"
"She went that way," one of the Slayers said helpfully.
"Thank you," Andrew said before continuing in the direction she pointed. "ANYA!"
Anya
Anya stepped out of the broom closet to see Andrew coming towards her. She was about to run again when she remembered the sight of Obi- Wan with a backwards head and she fell over laughing.
Andrew
"You, you!" Andrew spluttered, brandishing the figurine at her. "I asked you not to play with them! You *violated* Obi-Wan!"
Anya
"Oh, Andrew, lighten up. They're only dolls."
Anya gasped for air through her laughter. She wiped her tears away.
"I'm sorry."
Then she started laughing again.
Andrew
"They're not dolls! They're very expensice collectible action figures!" Andrew retorted huffily. "And you're not sorry at all. I don't know where I'm going to find another Obi-Wan of this edition..."
Anya
"I am sorry. It wasn't my fault anyway, it was Trogdor's."
Anya burst into a fresh round of laughter.
"But look at his head! His Jedi mind tricks had no effect on the Burninator!"
Andrew
Andrew smiled slightly, before frowning again. "Trogdor? What does Trogdor have to do with this?" A hideous relisation came over him, and he gasped. "You were playing with all of them!"
Anya
Anya held her stomach.
"Owwww, oh it hurts to laugh so much," she giggled.
She held a hand up to try and stop her laughing.
"I... I... Trogdor felt like burninating the country side... so he did."
Andrew
Andrew wailed softly, putting a hand to his eyes. "You...you..." He shook his head slightly. "This is not a good example to set the Slayers, you know," he said slightly reprovingly.
Anya
"Oh don't get condescending with me."
Anya straighted up.
"I'm not the one who has dolls."
She let out another stream of laughter.
"I'll buy you another one, I'm sure Xander knows where to get them."
Andrew
"They're *not* dolls!" Andrew said. "They're collectibles. There's a differenc...do you really think Xander would know where I could get a new Obi-Wan?" He looked sadly at the action figure. "Why did you have to get all...burninating with Obi Wan?"
Anya
"I'm pretty sure Xander will know how to get them. He's a nerd too, uh, genius. A genius too," Anya covered quickly.
"And Obi-Wan was the only Jedi that stood up against Trogdor's burninating. He was very brave."
Andrew
Andrew gave her a look when she called both him and Xander a nerd. "I'm holding you to the genius thing. And of course Obi-Wan stood up to Trogdor. He's a Jedi Knight. One of the best ones ever."
Anya
"But not quite strong enough to with stand a burnination."
Anya grinned.
"I'll give Xander a call tonight, ok?"
Andrew
"Yeah...ok. Um. Do you want this one now?" Andrew offered. "Otherwise, I think I'm going to give him an honourable burial..."
Anya
"You should bury him," Anya said, with a straight face.
She gave an exaggerated sigh.
"He deserves it."
Andrew
"You're teasing me..." Andrew said suspicously. "But yes, he does deserve to be buried. I'll go do that then." He started to walk off. "And Anya? Please don't break anymore. I'll make you pay for the next ones."
Anya
Anya nodded.
"Yes, I am teasing you, little monkey."
She grinned.
"I won't play with them anymore, I swear."
Andrew
"That's what you said last time, and the time before that, and the time before that," Andrew sighed. "Just...try not to break anymore of them, ok? Or do a better job of fixing them."
Anya
"I didn't mean to break him... Trogdor just got a bit excited."
Anya smiled sweetly at Andrew.
"Come on, we'll bury him and have a proper funeral, invite all the cannon fodder."
Andrew
"Yeah...and don't call them cannon fodder!" Andrew said sternly. As sternly as Andrew was able to, anyway. "You really should have a little more respect for them. I'll get started on the funeral arrangements." He smiled slightly.
Anya
"Hey, I was a demon, I didn't have to be respectful to anyone."
Anya looked a little wistful.
"Like the one time this woman wished her husband would lay with all his sheep... that was kinda disturbing."
She shook her head.
"Right, well I'll get the girls ready."
Andrew
"Ok." Andrew bobbed his head in a few nodding motions. "I'll go find a box...hey, we do have some party type foods, don't we? So we can hold a wake thingie?" He wisely didn't comment on the references to Anya's demonic past.
Anya
Anya nodded.
"I'll see what I can find."
She gave a little giggle as she headed to the kitchen.
"I'll meet you outside?"
Andrew
"Yeah..." Andrew laughed to himself quietly as he set off to go about his appointed tasks. He told the Slayers he could find about the Jedi funeral. "So, should it be open casket?" He mused to himself, before deciding against it. He found a box and carefully laid the Jedi to rest within it, before heading outside to meet up with everyone else.
Anya
Anya went and gathered some food and some candles for good measure, then headed outside to find Andrew and some of the Slayers.
She placed the candles delicately around the box and lit them.
Andrew
Andrew hid his smirk as he looked around at everyone. "Right. Let's get started then..." he coughed slightly. "We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of a good and noble Jedi Knight..."
"Oh please, he can't be serious!" One of the Slayers whispered loudly. Andrew frowned.
"As I was saying, we are gathered here to say farewell to a brave Jedi Knight, fallen to Trogdor."
Anya
"Yes, he was very brave and noble."
Anya giggled.
"And he unfortunately had a backwards head. Due to his fight with Trogdor."
Andrew
"Shh!" Andrew shushed her and some of the girls giggled. "Trogdor vanquished a great Jedi today. We will not see his like again." He knelt and placed the box in the ground, fighting to hide his smile now.
Anya
Anya let out a giggle.
"Poor Obi-Wan."
She wiped a tear away.
"May the Gods be kind to him and his backwards head."
Andrew
"We will observe a moment's silence," Andrew announced. There was a pause. "And now we go and eat food. It's time for the wake."
The girls let out a cheer, and filed inside as Andrew covered the box with dirt and blew out Anya's candles.
"C'mon, Anya. Let's go and eat extremly unhealthy food." He looked at her. "You know, this was good for the girls. It's a chance to have some fun."
Anya
Anya nodded.
"Time to relax as well."
She lowered her voice.
"You know, before they die."
Andrew
"Everyone dies, Anya." Andrew stood, brushing earth from his pants. "It just depends on whether you die doing something worthwhile...or something not," he finished in a whisper, thinking about Jonothon.
Anya
"Yes, but it's so stupidly mortal," Anya replied.
She headed back into the mansion, following the girls to the food.
Andrew
"It's what we are...what you are now, too..." Andrew stood outside and thought for a bit more, before following her inside and pasting a smile on his face. "So, what food do we have?"
Anya and Kennedy
Kennedy held up a bag of chips.
"We have chips, we have chocolate, we have every kind of candy under the sun."
Anya grinned as she headed over to get some candy.
Andrew
Andrew grinned. "Pretty good start to a wake. Ok, everybody get a glass!" He got his own glass of soft drink and raised it for a toast and watched the Slayers and Anya do the same. "To Obi-Wan!" He said.
"To Obi-Wan!" They chorused, and they all drank.
Anya
Anya giggled.
"Yay Obi-Wan."
She went over and started to eat.
Andrew
Andrew laughed and went to get something to eat. "This actually worked out kinda good," he commented to Anya. "But you're still calling Xander to find me a new one."