Vortigern and Demetria
Spike watched in horror as Mordred's body jolted on the hospital bed, and the vampire caught the sickening crunch of breaking bones. "BOLLOCKS!" Vortigern screamed in agony, and the vampire turned on Demetria, eyes gold and a bare step away from vamping out. "We go now."
"I need-" Spike slapped a picture into her hand.
"Faith sent it to Nyx. Let's go." Demetria looked at the picture, then put her hand on his shoulder. They ;ported to in front of the manor. Spike strode up to the door, and pounded on it, smelling Gwen all over the place. "GWEN! GET YOUR SORRY SODDING ARSE OUT HERE NOW, YOU BLOODY IDIOT BINT!"
Demetria watched with wide eyes.
Gwen, Piper and Paige
Gwen hardly moved from her place on the couch. She didn't appear to hear the pounding of the door.
"What's wrong with her?" Paige asked.
"She looks shell shocked," Piper said.
"But she wasn't at war!" Paige exclaimed. She paused, catching Piper's look. "Forget I said that."
Piper got up and answered the door, letting everyone in. "Gwen's in here, but she's... she's... kinda frozen."
Demetria
Spike stormed in, duster snapping arouns his ankles. "I'll soon cure her of that." He went over to Gwen and snarled in her face, full gameface. "Right, this pity party ends now. Do you have any idea how much you're hurting the both of them?!"
Demetria lifted a hand to her lips. "Oh, my..."
Gwen and Paige
Gwen stared blankly ahead. "I don't want to hurt Vort."
Paige gently took her hands. "Then don't. Stop doing this."
"No more hurting," Gwen said numbly. She closed her eyes.
"Gwen, listen to me, you can't blame yourself."
"I do... but no more hurting. I don't want to hurt Vortigern. Then Spike hurts. If I could hurt Mordred without hurting Vort, I would."
Spike
"Well, that's just sodding peachy innit? You want to hurt the one that's to blame for all this, start looking up ways to skin a cat," Spike spat, his eyes burning with anger. "Nyx pulled mojo on your boy, and now he's burning for it. He said no. She said yes. Shall I put it the way Nathan put it?" Spike closed his eyes for a moment to pull the memory out, then opened them again. "He said no, no. She said, *love me*. Want me, need me, *burn* for me. He burns for her," Spike's voice sounded eerily like Nathan's. "He's lost without his love. He'll never forgive himself. The cat is selfish. She saw, she wanted, she took. But she could not betray her nature." Spike almost laughed. "She was on bloody heat. She tried to pull the same mojo on me, ya know. I so nearly fell for it, and I was with Dru and her mind torture for over a hundred years," he fell back into his normal voice. "The wolf never had a bloody chance. She blindsided him with magick, and he's dying for it cos he hurt you, and my boy's dying right along with him. They're burning up from the inside out, and wolf is taking your pain along with it. He don't heal, either."
Gwen
Gwen's eyes were glazed over and she appeared to be staring straight through Spike.
"Then I'll come back. But I can't promise it'll be ok. For us."
Demetria
Spike waved his hand in front of her eyes, not exactly sure of she was still there. "Talk to him. It's all I can ask."
Demetria bit her fingernails absently, then flushed and put her hand behind her back. "Thank you, Gwen. It can never be the same as it was..."
"But you're blaming the victim here," Spike said firmly. "He was basically raped, if ya think about it. When I get my hands on that cat..." He refocused on Gwen and smiled unpleasantly. "Do ya wanna help?"
Gwen and Paige
Gwen rocked slightly, her face still blank and her tone expressionless.
"I will talk to him. If you want. But only for Vort's sake."
"I can orb her there with her stuff, if you want?" Paige offered.
Demetria
"If youc could, please," Demetria said faintly. "I'm not as strong as Vortigern is. Was. Oh goodness!" She put a hand to her mouth in distress, tears sparkling in her eyes. "*Is*."
"Calm down, blondie." Spike reached out and ruffled her hair. "If electrogirl can snap the wolf out of most his death wish, and she stops hurting herself, we should be right." He rubbed a hand tiredly across his forehead. "Let's go then."
Paige
Paige held her hand out. "Bag!" she called and Gwen's bag appeared on her arm. She reached over and touched Gwen on the shoulder.
"You guys ready?"
The Mavericks
"See ya there." Spike nodded at her and Demetria placed her hand on his shoulder, and they disappeared. Spike reappeared in the medlabs and went straight to Vortigern's side. Mordred moaned, and the vampire spared him a glance. "Soon, mate."
"Sorry, sorry, so sorry..."
Paige, Gwen and Piper
Paige looked to Gwen. "You ready?"
Gwen stared straight ahead. "Have to be."
"Be back in a sec," Paige said to Piper.
They orbed into the medlabs, Paige put the bag down and orbed out again.
Gwen numbly stared at the wall, unseeing.
Lance
"Oh, my stars and garters, I need Lance!" Hank was rushing around trying to fix the broken bones Mordred had taken onto himself. "Fetch him quickly, Demetria." The British girl blinked out, to reappear with the Australian.
"What's up, mate?" Lance walked quickly over to Mordred. He whistled slightly. "Who did the bag up job on themselves then? We'll need to put him out. Can't fix those easy either." He studied one broken forarm dispassionately, before starting to help Hank.
"C'mon, Gwen. Take a look at your handy work, then," Spike said.
Gwen and Paige
"Paige," Gwen said, refusing to look at Mordred.
Paige orbed back in. "Yeah?"
"Heal him."
"Oh... ok?" Paige walked over to where Mordred was lying on the bed. "May I?" she asked everyone.
Mordred
"Yes," Hank nodded.
"NO! I deserve this, I do, I hurt her..." Mordred started to cough and blood spewed forth from his lips as he fought for breath. Vortigern yelled hoarsely in pain as his twin struggled to keep his broken body living.
"Heal him," Hank told Paige. "We'll deal with his wishes later."
Gwen and Paige
Paige nodded and held her hands above Mordred's body, her hands glowing as she moved slowly up and down, healing him completely.
"Done and done," she murmured, looking to Gwen.
Gwen stared blankly at her.
Mordred and Vortigern
Vortigern sighed in relief, while Mordred looked at them both in wordless accusation, then turned his back to them. The golden haired half sat up and fell into Spike's arms. "I'm so glad you're back."
"I'm glad you're better again, pet," Spike said in a hoarse voice, before he shook Vortigern firmly. "Don't *ever* do that again, hear me?"
"Wasn't exactly a choice, vampire," Vortigern said halfjokingly. "Gwen...help me, Spike." Vortigern leant on the vampire and limped over to Gwen. "You need to see," he told her, swaying slightly, face still gaunt.
Gwen and Paige
Paige gave a salute and silently orbed out.
Gwen stared at Vort like she didn't know who he was.
"I will see," she said blankly, and took his hand.
MOrdred and Vortigern
"See then," Vortigern said almost threateningly, and placed his other hand at the side of her face and leant his forehead against hers.
/Flash./
Nyx's eyes gleamed as she stalked over to Mordred. "Hey, wolfie." She plastedered herself to his chest and rubbed herself sinously along his body. Mordred gaped for a moment, then tried to push her off, unable to 'port while she was touching him.
"Nyx, what the hell are you doing? What about Gwen? And Logan? I love Gwen!"
"I just want a little fun, wolfie..." Nyx purred, emerald eyes sparkling. Want me, need me, want me... Mordred's eyes went dazed.
She smelt so good, and she felt so right...
"Do you want me? I know you do. Good boy." Nyx smiled slowly, then reached behind him to open the door. Mordred stumbled backwards as her hands went to his pants. "Where's Gwen?"
"She's...out..." Mordred replied slowly, feeling like there was something very very wrong with this situation but unable to put his finger on it. When Nyx drew his mouth down to hers, he stopped thinking all together. Nyx waved the door shut with a sweep of her hand and then pushed Mordred down onto the bed.
"Let's see why Gwen is so happy all the time..." Nyx got Mordred's clothes off. "Well...that's not bad, not bad at all." She grinned, and then pounced. Mordred was lost, burning up.
/Flash/
Vortigern brought her in further.
/Flash/
Heatwrongburningohgodsomeonehelpme- Feelings of shame cascaded over the two of them. - Gwenlovemakeherstoppleasemakeherstoppleasemakeherstop- Helplessness and a cringing revulsion as his body betrayed him. - can'tmakeherstopican'tmakeherstop! ohgodburningupsohotgwenwhereareyoumakeherstoppleaseican'tmove- Dizzying sensation and the feeling of being shoved into a corner. - someonepleasehelpmeohgodican'tbedoingTHIS!hothothothothot- Trapped in the corner of his mind. -scream- Lost and trapped in the dizzying heat. -scream- Cut off. -howl- Unable to do a thing to help himself and feeling sick to his stomach as he lay on the bed and her green eyes gleamed. -howl- Unresisting. -howl- Trapped. -howl- Raped, except guys don't get raped this way. They don't. - myfaulthastobemyfaultohgwenlovei'msosorrylovepleasesomeonehelpme-
/Flash/
The horrifying sprial back into reality. -ohgodohf*cksomeonekillmenow-
"Looks like I'm in the wrong room. Sorry about that."
Still trying to figure out what the hell happened, what had gone on between him saying go, and her saying whatever it was she'd said that had them both ending up on the bed. - ohgodgwenidon'tevenknowwhathappenedbutican'ttellyouthat-
"I remember telling you to back off, and then it's all like a blank."
"Well, now I feel insulted. No chance of another round then?"
"Get out before I forget I don't hit women."
-shameshameshameshameANGERRAGEshameshameGUILTSHAMEdirtyfouldisgusting-
/Flash/
Mordred turned on the hot tap, hotter and hotter, until it was practically burning his skin. He looked blankly at the soap while tears coursed down his face to mingle wih the streams of water pouring from the showerhead. He started to scrub fiercley, hating the scent, the *miasma* that clung to his skin. He scrubbed so hard he started to bleed.
- hatemyselfhatehatehateican'tgethersmelloffmyskinshouldonlybegwenonlygw enyoufoolyouidiotyoudisgustingfilthypersononlygwenwhy?why? idon'tknowihatemyself-
/Flash/
Mordred finally stumbled out of the shower and clung shaking to the edge of the vanity. His eyes fell on the razor next to the sink, and he lifted it with one hand, before removing the razorblade.
- cleanpaindiedeserveitdeservethepaindeservetodiebetrayedherbetrayedherh urtherdiediediediefilthyshamefulGUILTremorsesohotsickdizzy-
/Flash/
- hurtmepunishmehurthurtmeSHAMEGUILTohgodgwenlovedon'tdothatletmehaveitt akeitblunttheedgeSHAMEdizzyhotsickhothothotPAINdeserveitideserveallofi tideserveeverythingigethurtmepleasehurtmewhipmecutmemakemebleedbreakev eryboneihave- The howling of a wolf backlit the thoughts and the crackle of flames ran like a soundtrack.
/Flash/
Vortigern swayed slightly as he shared it with Gwen.
Gwen
Gwen cried as she watched what had happened unfold before her eyes.
"I can't..."
She fell to the floor, an overload of emotions cascading through her body.
Vortigern
Vortigern followed her down, brown eyes hard and determined. "See." He put his hands on either side of her face, ignoring the tears cascading from her eyes. "You can see."
/Flash/
- ohgodihatemyselfican'tbelievewhathappenedgodgweni'msosorryloveiSWOREiw ouldneverneverneverdothat-
/Flash/
Rain falling down the windows, and he entered the door to her apartment. "Beauty?"
"Oh god, yesssss, oh, oh, Paul, just like that."
The roaring in his ears as he opened the door to her bedroom. Brown hair falling down her shoulders as she threw her head back, and his *best friend* in bed with her. The flowers he had bought and put in a glass vase falling to shatter at his feet.
"Mordred!" Round open mouth.
"Oh god." Turning and running.
"Mordred!" Her hand on his shoulder as he reached the door. "I love you!"
"So what's this then?" The bitterness choking him.
"It was just sex!" Stumbling out the door and pushing her away, the rain bucketing down. Wandering the streets, clothes soaked through, not wanting to go home. Couldn't stand it.
/Wolf?/
/Go 'way./
/C'mon, let's get you home./ Leaning into his brother and howling his grief as his tears mixed with the rain.
/Flash/
- Heatburningdyingi'mburningupsohotsohotgwenlovei'msorrysosorryican'tsay thattoyoucosyouleftandideservethisiHURTYOUsosorrygwencariadloveiloveyo ueventhoughi'vedonethisandiNEVERdeservedyoui'msorryi'msorrypleasedon't hurtyourselfanymorepleaselovepleasehurtmegivemethecutsgivemetheburnsgi vemeitallcosiderserveitandyoudon'tbelovedpureangeli'msorryi'msosorry-
Gwen
"I'm sorry," Gwen said quietly.
She looked away, her tears spilling from her eyes.
"I don't know what I'm doing."
Vortigern and Mordred
"None of us do," Vortigern said quietly, swaying like he was about to faint as he kept the connection with Gwen's mind. "The trick is do what your heart commands you."
"NO!" Vortigern was tackled awayt from Gwen by Mordred. "DON'T you hurt her! Don't do that to her. She doesn't deserve it."
Gwen
Gwen's tears flowed more freely.
"I don't know what my heart wants right now."
Mordred and Vortigern
"I w-w-wasn-n-n't h-h-hurt-t-ting h-her," Vortigern said with difficulty as his twin shook him violently. Spike reached down and seperated Mordred from his lover.
"Don't."
"He was *hurting* her!" Mordred protested and snarled at the vampire. Spike snarled back, but Mordred gave him a steely-eyed glare in return.
"I wasn't, you know." Vortigern sat up on the floor. "I was just...showing her a few things."
"Don't do it! I didn't want her to see!"
Gwen
Gwen's eyes glazed over and she stared blankly through the people in the room. She walked over and lay her hand on Mordred's shoulder.
"It's alright."
Mordred and Vortigern
"It's not all right, and it never wil be again. God, Gwen, I'm so sorry!" Mordred had the look of a man who didn't cry being very close to tears. Vortigern eyed him warily, then skootched over to Spike.
"Mordred's gone bonkers. This is all Nyx's fault." Spike helped Vortigern up. "Can we skin her?"
"Sure, pet. I'm sure Gwen would just adore a new catskin coat. And Feral needed more violin strings." Vortigern grinned.
"I just adore him, sometimes."
"What, only sometimes?"
"Prat." Vortigern leant up to kiss Spike.
"'M not."
"Are. You're not kissing me."
"Good point." Spike resumed kissing Vortigern senseless, one of his favourite activities.
Gwen
"Mordred, it doesn't matter. Well, look... I'm not sure how to..."
Gwen paused, not really knowing what to say.
She wasn't happy.
But she wasn't angry.
She still needed time to think about things, away from here.
Mordred and Vortigern
"It matters. I *swore*, swore I'd never do that to someone I loved..." Mordred looked up at her. "I'm so sorry, Gwen. I'm so sorry."
"And there we go again! Honestly, you'dve thought we'dve got past the blame the rape victim for the rape idiocy." Vortigern frowned.
Spike laughed shortly. "Who you kidding, luv? Read the transcripts of any rape trials recently?"
Gwen
Gwen shrugged.
"Doesn't matter."
She took a deep breath.
"Look, I'm gonna head back home for a bit, I have a few jobs that I'd really like to do, so yeah..."
Mordred and Vortigern
"Yeah, course." Mordred nodded miserably. Vortigern sighed. "Stay safe, Gwen."
"And if Nyx pays LA another visit, call us, would ya, ducks?" Spike grinned nastily.
Gwen and Paige
Gwen nodded. "I will, and I will."
She took a deep breath. "Paige!"
Paige orbed back in.
"Can you take me to my place in LA?"
"Yep, see ya all..." Paige took Gwen's hand and orbed out and into Gwen's place, then left.
Gwen flopped onto her bed, willing herself not to cry. She pressed her answering machine button.
"You have twenty-seven new messages."
Gwen listened to them. A job in London? Sounded good.
Mordred
Mordred got up and went to his room. Spike and Vortigern shared a glance. They knew where this was going to head.
Mordred burrowed into his bed and closed his eyes, feeling her absence like a physical pain.