21 August 2003 - Holding onto your pain

Tegan and Nessa

The Mavericks

Mordred had felt Gwen being healed, and cut off his connection with her before it was fully completed. She deserved to be healed. He didn't. He deserved all of this...and more.

Vortigern's eyes were clouded with fever. Spike was at his wits end, and then an idea came to him. He'd go see that little green skinned demon in LA. The one that was...friends? with the great mousse detective. Maybe he'd be able to see something that could help his boy. See Nyx, see something that could help... Spike stood up desicively then ran for the two people he would need.

Octavian and Demetria followed him back down to the medlabs. Spike lifted the limp body of Vortigern into his arms while Octavian picked up Mordred. Before Hank could stop her, Demetria put a hand on the two men's shoulders, and they all disappeared.

They landed in the lobby of the Hotel Hyperion, LA.

"PEACHES!" Spike yelled, his powerful voice bouncing off the rafters. "GET YOUR PANSY ARSE DOWN HERE! NOW!"

Vortigern winced slightly, and cracked open an eye. "Loud..."

"Sorry, pet."


Cordelia

Cordelia came out of the office, looking haggard. "He's not here... we're having a bit of trouble with that actually. Look, Gunn's out searching for him, and Lorne's at Caritas. Can I help you with anything?"


Mordred and Vortigern

Blood slowly dripped down Mordred's dangling hand to pool on the floor, and his eyelids fluttered.

"Nyx has been playing games," Spike spat. "This is all her bloody fault. What's happened to the Caped Crusader?"

"Cold, sooooo cooooold," Vortigern said through chattering teeth and Spike felt the back of his boy's forehead. Burning up. A fire.

"F*ck, f*ck, f*ck..." Spike cursed to himself. "Dem, you can't...?"

"Sorry, not without a picture of the place or I have to know the person." Demetria shook her head sadly. "We'll have to go by mundane means."

"Sorry, I'm so sorry, oh god, I'm burning up..." Mordred moved his head restlessly against Octavian's shoulder. The golden haired teen shifted his grip slightly, and Mordred moaned in pain. "Deserve this..."


Cordelia

Cordy looked confused.

"Well, Angel left his car... I can drive you all there if you want?"


Mordred and Vortigern

"Yeah, princess if you would," Spike answered her, one ear listening to the twins's heartbeats. Mordred's was skipping, and Vortigern's was slowing. "Hold in there, luv..." He'd only just got him back after what had happened in the labs, and this happened. That brought another thought up. "Where's electrogirl?"


Cordelia

Cordelia shrugged.

"Last we heard, she was in Australia. I think Gunn knows, but he's not here. Here, this way..."

Cordelia led them out to Angel's car and jumped into the front seat.


Demetria

Demetria was wringing her hands and floating off the ground, as Spike spared her a look. "We'll give ya a yell when we need ya, ducks." She gave him a relieved glance, and vanished. Spike almost chuckled as he and Octavian got into the car, carrying their living burdens. "Peaches is gonna go bleeding spare..." Blood and sweat trickled from Mordred onto the seats and sweat beaded up on Vortigern's forehead. "Let's go, princess, and don't spare the horses."


Cordelia

Cordelia started the engine and drove as fast as she could without having an accident. It effectively turned a fifteen minute drive into a seven minute one. She pulled up sharply at the curb and put the car into park.

"There it is," she said, pointing next to her. "Have fun."


Octavian and Vortigern

"Ta, ducks." Spike and Octavian got out of the car and entered the club. Spike snarled at some demon that got up close. "Sod off!"

"Burning, god, Spike, it's so hot..." Vortigern moaned softly.

"Where's that little green tosser?" Spike looked around for Lorne.


Lorne

Lorne was sitting and watching the painfully bad singer onstage. He also couldn't tell if it was a male or female, but he suspected that that particular species of demon didn't have genders. It finished and Lorne quickly jumped onstage and introduced the next act, then gave the demon a brief rundown. He escaped and made a beeline for the bar, getting another drink and settling down at his table.


The Mavericks

"Right." Spike gritted his teeth and walked over, Vortigern's arm over his shoulder as he made the teen walk. Octavian sighed, and followed with Mordred. "You do the reading gig for peaches, right? Well, the one person who 'sees' at the mansion is insane, so you're bound to make more sense. If I can get the wolf to howl, can you read him for us so I can figure out what hte bleeding 'eck is wrong and fix my half of them?"


Gwen

"Go for it," Lorne said pleasantly.

***

Gwen sat in the Halliwell's bath, the once hot water now feeling lukewarm. She lifted the razor and extracted the blade carefully, then proceeded to cut deeply into her arms and legs. She smiled sadly at the blood turning the water red.

"Why doesn't this hurt enough? Why can I still remember?"


Mordred and Octavian

Blood started to drip down Mordred's hands and feet. "No, Gwen, love, stop..." he pleaded quietly. "Don't do this to yerself..."

"Wolf, wake up and listen to me," Spike said as Octavian settled the near comatose teen in a chair at the table. "You need to sing."

"No." Mordred's eyes slid closed, blue eyes dull and lifeless.

Spike's hand clenched into a fist. "Damn you."

"Already damned," Mordred whispered in a dry voice.


Gwen

Lorne looked at Spike. "If you can at least get him to hum or whistle... I can read that."

***

Gwen looked weakly at her wrists, and the pool of blood she now sat in. She got up and emptied and cleaned the bath, the disinfectant stinging her open wounds. She ignored it and hopped into the shower, where she fell to the floor, crying her eyes out. She took the blade to her wrists and cut into the clear patch of skin, then moved down to the backs of her ankles. She slashed them violently, and started to feel light headed from the blood.

But who cared?

She reached up and turned off the cold water, sitting in the now boiling hot water, the steam rising around her, making it difficult to breathe.

But that didn't matter. Nothing did.

The scalding hot water burned her skin and as she looked up at the ceiling, the water burned her eyes red raw.


The Mavericks

The blood dripped faster. Mordred moaned as his skin reddened. Vortigern cried out weakly, and Spike could feel his temperature jump higher.

"Feral, you try it," Spike suggested as he cradled Vortigern to his chest. Octavian nodded.

"Mordred old boy, listen up. You're hurting Vortigern. You need to sing for him."

"Vort..." That seemed to reach him, and Mordred opened his eyes again. "Alright." He hummed a snatch of tune brokenly.


Lorne

Lorne frowned and jumped from his seat.

"Whoa, sweetcheeks! It's alright!"

He looked into Mordred's eyes. "She's hurting and you can feel it, can't you? You're ashamed at what you did... and yet... it wasn't your fault. She did something, didn't she? But Gwen saw... and Gwen hurt."


Mordred

"All my fault. I deserve this," Mordred told Lorne in a cracked voice. "I *deserve* this. I *swore* I would *never* do that."


Lorne

"She did something to you, didn't she? So you couldn't resist... but Gwen doesn't understand that. Don't be so hard on yourself... she did something to you..."

Lorne looked concerned and turned to Spike.

"The cat did something to him... made him want her. Gwen walked in at the last minute and found them together, and she ran. And never came back. He's ashamed, he's lost himself within his mind, feeding off her pain. He's taking her pain away, so what she does to herself, it will happen to him."


Spike

"What do I do to make it stop?" Spike asked in despair. "I can't...look at them! They're dying! Nyx has the bloody apples and I don't want to turn them..."


Lorne

"You either have to get Mordred to let go of her pain... although I'm not sure how, or you have to stop her, before it's too late."

Lorne sighed.

"Gunn mentioned she was with Paige Matthews. Which puts her in Tulsa. At the Manor. Unless she's run again."


Octavian and Demetria

"Right." Spike nodded descively. He looked at Octavian. "Get yer twin. I'm going to go track down electrogirl."

"Rightio then..." Octavian's eyes widened slightly at the snarl hidden just below the surface of Spike's voice. "Dem."

"Can we go now? Dr McCoy is having kittens all over the medlab," Demetria said as she appeared. "I have never seen him in such a state."

"Is he saying 'oh my stars and garters'?" Octavian asked dryly.

"Oh my word, he's saying worse then that. And he wants Spike's head on a pike."

"Impossible to do, blondie. Ta, mate," Spike commented offhandedly to Lorne as they all stood. "Been a help."


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