Loki, Jay and Silent Bob
Loki watched his two charges bicker as he walked behind them, and sighed. Far out, God had a lousy sense of humour. What had he done to deserve this? Sure, there'd been that whole ending of all existence thing, but that had been a total mistake. He and Bartleby had been *played* by that little piece of shit with horns. Who he really couldn't blame after having been to hell. Loki shuddered slightly. Which was why he was looking after these two idiots. Who also weren't pleased with the arrangement.
"Nootch, nootch, smoking pot, smoking pot, drinking beers, drinking beers- except that angelic fag back there can't actually drink!" Jay shouted back to Loki.
"Oh, why don't you grow up?" Loki snapped back as the three of them walked to this place they were meant to be going to. Why? They didn't know. But they weren't arguing with God. Well, Jay had tried but she'd kissed him and that had put an end to it. They were going to this place called Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.
"What the hell are we going to this place again? Who the hell has a name like Xavier anyway? Bet he loves the cock." Jay punched Silent Bob on the arm. Silent Bob rolled his eyes. "Dude, don't give me that look. Suck it up, you tubby bitch. You know the guy must be gay."
Loki sighed, and wished he could just fly out of here as they walked down the road to the school.
They arrived at the gates and Loki simply tore the locks apart with his hands, before walking in. Jay and Silent Bob stared at the shattered metal, wide eyed.
"Dude, check that shit out!" Jay exclaimed. Silent Bob nodded.
"Are you two coming or what?" Loki called back irritably. "I swear, I need to kill someone..." He sighed. "I want my sword back. Nothing says angel like a flaming sword. I was the angel of fucking death, man! And now I'm reduced to shepherding you two jerkoffs around."
"Hey, at least we can jerk off, Ken!" Jay said back snidely as he walked after Loki.
"Shut up. Just...shut up." Loki hunched his shoulders.
"We're not the ones who tried to end all existence," Jay answered selfrighteously. Silent Bob nodded. "We saved the world!" The two did a complicated hand shake thing. Loki rolled his eyes.
"Whatever. Let's go find who ever's in charge."
"Hey, dig those bitches, Bob. Buuuunnggg."
Emily
Emily smiled as she saw her old partner.
"Loki!" she said as she ran to him and gave him a hug. "What are you doing here?" she asked. Then, after she let go, she slapped him across the face as hard as she could.
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? You are SUCH an idiot. You always were! Why the HELL did you throw down the sword and defy Jehovah? How stupid can you be? Listening to Bartleby of all people? Sheesh!" The tiny girl pushed him backwards with all her stregth.
"Jerk," she mittered.
Loki and Jay
"Dude, you're getting beat up by a little girl," Jay smirked.
"Shut UP, Jay," Loki growled, before turning back to Emily. "For your infomation, I was drunk at the time. And Bartleby always sounds smarter when I'm drunk. Leave me alone. I was sentenced to eternity in *Wisconsin*. You have any idea how boring Wisconsin is?"
"F*cking A," Jay agreed.
Emily
Emily snickered. "And now you've been assigned to protect THESE two?" she snickered. "You really did get the short end of the stick. Of course, here I am, protecting this entire school/ Oh man, I coulda used you're help a couple of weeks ago when a Banshee attacked. I banished her, but still, icky. You would not believe how many demons and malevolent spirits attack these children each week. Are you staying for a while?" She asked, impatiently. Then she grabbed Loki and dragged him into the school. SHe looked over her shoulder & signaled for Jay and Silent Bob to follow.
"Okay, what's up?" She asked.
Loki, Silent Bob, Jay and Nyx
"Well, seeing as how angelboy doesn't have a cock, I'm thinking not much," Jay snickered. Loki swung a gaze on him that wouold have had smarter people cowering in fear. Jay just grinned. Loki turned back to Emily.
"I'm staying as long as the Lord needs these two to be here. Why, I don't know."
"AHHHH! DIE, YOU WINGED BASTARD!" A scream of pure rage echoed for a moment, then a blackhaired missile dove at Loki. He unmantled his wings and leapt backwards.
"MOTHERF*CK!"
"Whoa, wings got attacked twice today, and no one's gone for us yet," Jay commented to Silent Bob. "Things are looking up. Now, if we could just actually manage to get laid..." Silent Bob nodded in agreement.
"DIE!" Nyx concentrated for a moment, then flung a small ball of fire at Loki. "YOU KILLED THEM!"
"I was just doing my job!" Loki protested as hehurridely deflected the ball with a sword. "I was the Angel of Death!"
"Don't talk back to me, you son of a bitch!"
"Technically, I wasn't born!"
"She's hot," Jay said admiringly as Nyx shrieked curses and generally made life difficult for Loki. Silent Bob nodded approvingly.
Emily
Emily pulled Nyx off of Loki and gave her a death glare. "Everybody, SIT DOWN," she yelled in a tone that nobody messes with. She looked at Nyx.
"Okay, first, we were only following orders. If Pharoah had listened to reason, nobody would have died. But did he? No. So the Plagues continued. It's Pharoah's fault, not Loki's. Secondly," she glared at Jay, "Angels have no need for genders, or for sex at all. We experience exstasy by being in Jehovah's presense. We were created that way. We don't need physical pleasure, it's nonexistent for us. Just like we have no reason to get drunk," she glared at Loki. Emily was ome of the few angels who never touched alcohol, after it was invented. She'd had one drink her whole existence.
"Nyx, behave, or I'll tell our mother about it," she sighed. "Honestly, your brother and sister understood why it had to happen, so why can't you exceot it? It's been thousands of years!"
"And you," she glared at Jay with an icy look. "There are children here. If you swear once more, I will rip your tongue out. Do you understand me?" Four somebody who was only four and a half feet tall, Emily was very intimidating.
Nyx, Jay, Silent Bob and Loki
"Pfffft." Nyx dismissed Emily's reasoning easily. "So said Hitler's SS. You're nothing but Gestapo! Angels! And cats have exceedingly looooong memories." Nyx gave Emily an icy glare. "And at the moment, I couldn't care less if you told my mother. I'm not talking to her at the moment, and Re approves our actions, so bite me, you prepubescent midget!"
"You tell her!" Jay cheered. "Catfight! Yeah!" Silent Bob rolled his eyes. "Dude, like you don't think it's hot when two bitches fight. You were totally into it when Justice and whatever her name was were clawing and spitting." Loki just shook his head and stood in front of Jay.
"Back off, Emily. They are my charges, and don't you think if we were allowed to, I'dve already ripped out his tongue? God wants him to be able to talk, for some reason I'll never understand."
"You tell her, wings," Jay said from behind Loki. The angel still had his sword out. "Dude, do you think he's compensating for something or what?" Loki's knuckles were white on the grips of his sword as he visibly controlled his temper.
"And Emily? You always were a selfrighteous little bitch. Even more so then Michael, for pity's sake." Nyx peered around at Loki's charges. "So, what's your penace, Kendoll?"
"Well, I'm Jay, and this tubby bitch is my compadre, Silent Bob." Silent Bob waved slightly as Jay introduced them. "Hey, you looking for some drugs? I'm dealing. I got grass, some E tabs, uppers, downers, crack..."
"No selling on school grounds," Nyx said, then grinned. "But see me after. I need some more pot. I have some friends who smoked all mine."
Emily
Emily looked at Loki. "They may be your charges, but I am still your superior. And it's not like I wouldn't put his tongue back the way it was later, I would. And I will remove his tongue if he curses in front of my charges. I'm also supposed to tell you that some newbie whitelighter is coming to guard a new coven that predicted to be starting. Jehovah doesn't want us interracting with her much. WE have out charges, and she'll have hers." Emily sighed. She was pissed off. She needed some time for meditation and prayer, or she'd flip out and kill the wrong person. She held up her hand undid the magic spell that let Nyx appear human. Of her many powers, undoing spells was one of her favourites. Then she forcibly dragged Loki down into the study.
"Sit." she commanded. "I don't like your language or your attitude, so I want you to meditate with me." She sighed, realizing what a bitch she must sound like.
"Please," she asked.
Loki, Jay, Silent Bob and Nyx
"Screw you, Emily," Loki said angrily. "Really, sit and spin." He flipped her off then stalked out of the room, wings fluttering with rage before they disappeared into his back. "Little goody two shoes...now I remember *why* I hung out with Bartleby so much...screw you Emily, just... screw you."
Jay and Silent Bob stared at the angry black cat who had appeared on the floor. "Where'd the chick go?" Sil ent Bob shrugged. "Whoa...dude, I must be more stoned then I thought."
Nyx's tail thrashed in a furious rage. Ooh, she despised that little piece of work. She concentrated and zoomed back upwards into her human shape. She stalked off in a towering rage, completely naked.
"DUDE!" Jay and Silent Bob's mouths were hanging open.
"Let's go find our room," Loki snarled at Jay and Silent Bob.
"Dude, did you see that?! She was totally butt naked!"
"Nyx has a habit of doing that," Loki said shortly. "Cat, rooms?"
"Down the corridor," Nyx spat back. "Why the hell do you winged freaks have to come and show me a hard time?" She was feeling too odd today. She also wasn't in the mood for Emily's histronics. "This one." She slapped a door as she passed.
"Thanks. Good to see I'm not the only one Emily pisses off..." Loki muttered.
"What the hell is her deal anyway?" Jay asked.
"She didn't lose her job. Therefore, she has every right to look down on me." Loki was tightlipped.
Emily
Emily meditated for a while, both happy and upset that she'd managed to annoy everybody. Nobody took her seriously. Even the Grimm brothers thought she'e edge of the desk, making sure would be a good charactar for a story. it irked her beyond belief. She concentrated on God and HIs love for her and the world, and hovers about a foot off the sofa, totally at peace and filled with God's love.
She concentrated, and a note appeared on Loki's pillow.
Jehovah loves you. (S)he wants more of your attention.
Please meditate tonight. (S)he wants you to. (S)he asked
me to leave you this note. We need more fellowship in the
Lord in this place. Please choose to be my friend, and not
my enemy. After you were banished to Wisconsin, I petitioned
to have you reinstated on the grounds that it was Bartleby's
idea. I missed you, old friend. We were partners since I
took Abel's soul to Paradise. I pray that your soul mood
will not last forever. Don't let bad situations allow you
to forget how much you love Him. And how much (S)He loves
you. And how much I love you as my brother.
-<3-
Emily :-D
Loki
Loki felt the note appear and rolled over onto his stomach to retrieve it. He read it, and rolled his eyes. Yep, that was Emily all over. Still assholier then thou, even after all these years. He glanced over at Jay and Silent Bob, before going to write his own message.
I'm not your enemy, Emily, but I don't appreciate your attitude. You're not my superior here. You weren't my superior then, either. We were equals, and friends. Don't preach to me. I'm already not in the mood, and I won't take it well. I've had enough of being preached to. And you have absolutely no idea of what's going on inside my head, or what's happening with me and God.
Loki.
He sent it off, and then sat up and started to sharpen his sword, falling into the familar rhythm easily and letting his thoughts drift. What the hell was her problem? He was the one who'd been banished, then sent to hell. She hadn't even come to visit...
Emily
Emily read the note, and then sent off a quick reply
Don't be mad with me Loki. I wanted so badly to visit you in Wisconsin, but it was forbidden. I just want us to be friends again. We have a lot of work to do here. Bad stuff is coming. I need to know that Snow White and Prince Charming can be a team again.
Emily grinned at the reference. The Grimm brothers had seen the two of them together, and decided to base Snow White on them. She went back to her meditating, and then floated to her room, and fell asleep.
Loki
Loki rolled his eyes as he read the note. Prince Charming. Idiot humans. He sharpened his sword, drifting into a medatitive state and feeling at one with God. There was something about the soothing repetitive actions that made it easier to talk and get things out. After a while, he settled down to sleep, sword resting across his knees. He was still undecided about Emily.