Dawn
Dawn sat awkwardly on the couch. "I don't have to lie down, do I?" she asked.
"Oh, no," Chandra replied. "Sit wherever you like. This is all about you. My job is to listen. Dawn, there are no wrong feelings. Say whatever you feel or think, and it never leaves this room. Promise." Dawn looked a little unsure, but decided to start.
"Okay, up until I was fourteen I had a relatively normal life, or so I thought. Mom, Dad, sister. Of course my sister was the Slayer, but even that never seemed like that big of a deal. I had a normal life with normal problems. Then I find out that none of it was real. It was all made up by some all-powerful monks who I'd never even meant. They MADE me, I was the Key." Chandra nodded.
"I can understand how that would throw your life out of whack. Now, all of a sudden, you're wondering if you can trust anything, right?"
"Exactly! It's like, I have all these memories, but they're not real. And I things I knew I never even learned. I was who I was because some powerful men willed it so." Chandra nodded. "The night I found out, I freaked. Cut myself. Wasn't even sure if it was blood or if I was even real. Of course it didn't help that at that same time my mom had just had brain surgery."
"That must have been a hard time for you."
"It was. Now all of a sudden I had this power flowing in my veins that I didn't understand and didn't want. Then mom died and I thought I would too. My blood was so important, but it couldn't save her." Chandra nodded, mnaking notes but not saying anything. Dawn needed to let it all out, she didn't need somebody critiquing her feelings.
"Then Tara went crazy, because of me. Glory sucked her brain because of ME!" Dawn said, the emotions she had tried to suppress bubbling up to the surface.
"But Dawn, Glorificus is an evil Beast. She does things out of evil and hatred and spite. It was NOT your fault. You can not be responsible for anybody's actions except your own. And I understand that people have been hurt or even killed protecting you, but you are in no way responsible. If they choose to protect you, or to fight for you, that's their choice." Dawn thought about that for a bit.
"I guess you're right," she said. "Buffy sacrificed herself for me. She died to save my life, and I blamed myself for so long. BUt it was her crazy choice, not mine." It was like something had suddenly clicked in her head. It wasn't her fault.
"Anyways, Buffy died. Spike got hurt, Anya got hurt, it was very sad. But everyone survived, 'cept Buffy. So, then, a few months later, Willow gets this beright idea to bring my sister back to life, as if there was even a possibility that Buffy would be in hell." Chandra cocked her head.
"I remember that. The bones were very upset, everything supernatural could feel the disturbance. It was never supposed to happen."
"I know, she was at peace. I don't think WIllow's every really forgiven herself, even though Buffy forgave her. Things were kinda dark for a while, Buffy had trouble feeling emotions, and Willow got addicted to black magick. She nearly killed me. Then Tara and Buffy got shot." Dawn flinched. "Buffy was rushed to the hospital, but Tara didn't make it. During all the time Buffy was gone, Tara was like a mom to me. She had lost her mom when she was 17, so she knew some of what I was going through. I loved her fiercely," Dawn said. "And then, another person was just snatched away from me." Chandra got a look of comprehension on her face.
"So now you feel as if everyone you love leaves, right?"
"Exactly! Dad left, Mom died, Buffy died and Tara died. Then when I started 10th grade, I became friends with a girl named Cassie. She was a seer and she forsaw her own death. Just as I had come to care for her, she was gone."
"SO now you're afraid to get attatched, right?
"Yeah," Dawn nodded.
"But you indicated earlier you had a boyfriend." Dawn got a goofy look on her face.
"Yeah, Clark. He's Superman," then she snickered. "Literally. He's an indestructible alien, and we adore each other," she fingered the necklace he'd made her. "He gave me this, see? It says 'beloved' in his language."
"And how long have you two been dating?"
"Since January, but with all that's happened, it feels like forever," Dawn admitted.
"My friend Amanda, who is now a Slayer, and I were at risk of a kidnapping, so Buffy sent us to Kansas, where Clark lives for protection. We even had our bodyguards. Spike's stuck to me like glue since Buffy died, the second time, she died once in high school for, like, 2 minutes, but I'm talking abou the time with Glory," Chandra nodded.
"He's been my bodyguard, my protector," she smiled. "Sometimes, when it's just us, I call him Daddy, because he's the closest thing to a father I have. He's more of a father to me than Hank Summers will ever be," she declared.
"Anyways, Spike and Nyx came with Amanda and Me, Nyx is Bastet;s daughter, the Witch's Familiar. They came as our bodyguards, and brought Dru along so that Buffy wouldn't try and hurt her, even though she has a bagful of Amarra stones. Drusilla's a seer, and she's adopted Amanda and I as her daughters. And even though she doesn't have a soul, she loves, and she cares. She might not have compassion, but she understands Pack loyalties." Dawn paused.
"Ever since I met my friend Mouse, I've been thinking more in terms of Pack loyalties. Because so much of my 'family' isn't human, I have a Pack, rather than a family. Anyways, in Kansas, we met up first with Sabre, and the with Priss, who had been captured by the Initiative. They cut her up and bound her magick, so she couldn't revert to cat!" Chandra winced.
"The U.S. government is chock full of unsympathetic assholes, pardon my French," Chandra stated. "Bigots that think different equals evil. But we know they're wrong, right?" Dawn nodded.
"Absolutely. Anyways, to keep going with my life story, I went straight from hiding in Smallvile to the YIRAAS tournament. That's where I found out about Sunnydale. I never even got to see her one last time," Dawn said, tears coming to her eyes. "The last time I saw her was when she put me on the plane to Kansas. We kissed goodbye, and that was the last time we held each other. We spoke on the phone a couple of times, but she was always so busy training the Potentials." Dawn looked down at her lap.
"At least you got to say goodbye," Chandra said gently. "You bid farewell when you left, and at least you both know you loved each other, that's what truly matters. Love." She looked Dawn in the eyes.
"I guess you're right. But I seriously lost it then. Buffy was gone, again. Januzs and Osiris wouldn't answer my cries and even Dagon was silent. Willow refused to bring her back again, because we all knew she was in heaven, at peace and with mom." Dawn took a deep breath. "That's when Scottcame back. he had heard about Sunnydale on the news, and he rushed to Tulsa right away. Scott's my cousin, our dads were brothers, 'cept his is dead and mine might as well be. Scott and I are the last of the Summers clan. His brother Alex died a few years back, only just after he and Scott found each other again, and his parents were killed in a plane crash years ago. Mom always kicked herself for believe the police reports. They told us there were no survie Dad left, Mom died, Buffy died anvors, so we lost all contact with Scott and Alex for years, they grew up in foster care and on the street. Of course, I don't even remember my aunt and uncle, I wasn't even 'born' yet, in either sense. But Buffy told me about them. Scott contacted us once in LA, told us he was living in New York, teaching at a private school. I'm not exactly sure when we found out he was a mutant, but that's unimportant now. The important thing is he's here for me now. He's my cousin, but he's also my big brother and surrogate father, and Jean is my cousin-in-law, but she's also my sister and mother, am I making any sense?"
"Absolutely," Chandra said. "Familial relationships like yours can be complicated. But before we get into that, do you have more of your history to explain?"
"Yeah. Let's see. I transferred here and settled in. Got into a routine and made new friends. I really do love it here. Then the Cain incident began. Cain was an evil mutant. He attacked the school and killed a little girl. I tried to stop him, but it didn't work, he just got angry. He went to Loki and got immunity to my and Nyx's magic. Then he found a girl who looked like me and videotaped himself murdering her and sent it to me," she looked grim. "That I do blame myself for. She died because of me."
"Dawn, we just talked about this, you are not responsible for anybody else's actions. Especially not those who choose to embrace evil. Please, go on."
"Okay, so, then he killed Pink. Publicly, do you remember that?" Chandra nodded grimly. "And then the next day we learned that somehow Glory had come back. And she was even more powerful, but this time, she didn't have some big agenda, I guess she just wanted revenge. Okay, first I need to explain that some of the kids here, one boy in particular, Octavian, are big on pranks. So his twin sister Dem and I decided to cast a spell to Diana and turn him into a girl. It was only supposed to be for a day or two, to teach him a lesson, but then Glory attacked the school, and poisoned me with Orpheus." Dawn shuddered at the memory. "Magical midwalk, not fun." she declared.
"And then she and Cain attacked the school together, killed a boy and tortured and mind-stripped his twin, and kidnapped a very comatose me. I'm not exactly certain how long I was at Glory's. But she wasn't really paying much attention, so I managed to get away. But I was still very weak. So I think it was, like, almost a month that Tav had to be a girl, before I had the strength to turn him back. I realkly feel bad about it," she admitted.
"All of our actions have consequences, and sometimes we don't take into consideration how they affect others. Something we do trying to be funny may be hurtful to somebody else. But I take it you learned your lesson?"
"Absolutely, no more sex-changing for me. So yeah, okay, so wrapping up the history lesson, I'll try and hurry up."
"Take your time."
"Okay. Anyway, I've been weak for a while. I got better, and then I started having a lot of bad dreams, and just hurting all the time, emotionally and physically. Then somehow Sweet was summoned and my life turned into a musical for a bit, that was certainly interesting. And now, only, like a week apart, first Glory decides to take some students away from the school, and we don't know exactly what's going on, except that she's forged alliances with several nasty people. And then, yesterday, a lot of my friends were abducted from the mall and experimented on, raped and tortured," Dawn said, tears flowing to her eyes.
"Dawn it's important for you to remember that none of this is your fault. Some horrible things happen in this world, and lately there's been a lot of horrible things happening, but you can't blame yourself. You didn't kidnap anybody, you've never tortured them. It's NOT YOUR FAULT," e Dad left, Mom died, Buffy died an Chandra said emphatically.
"I--I know, it's, just, well, sometimes I feel that everyone I care about get's hurt, and everything I touch turns to crap."
"We all feel that way sometimes, Dawn, it's a perfectly normal and acceptible feeling. But what we want to do is to work past that, to help you accept the fact that you don't have that much power. You don't have the power to ruin everything, I promise you," she said with a sly smile. "Dawn, do you know the Serenity Prayer?"
"I don't think so," Dawn answered.
"Let me teach it to you, it's very simple. It goes like this:
'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.' Would you say that for me?"
Dawn repeated the prayer.
"Now, I want you to try something. Whenever it feels like there's too much for you to handle, and you just feel ovewhelmed, I want you to close your eyes and say that prayer. But really mean it. Can you do that?"
"I, I think so," Dawn said.
"Good, Chandra said, smiling "Dawn, I want you to feel free to come and se me any time you feel the need to talk. In a few days we'll all be going to the mountain, but even there, always feel free to come to me, okay? That's what I'm here for."
"Thank yoiu, Chandra, it's been a big help top just talk about it all, even thoug h I left a lot of stuff out. I think I will come back."
"Good, I'll be expecting you," she smiled.