25 June 2003 - Sleepless nights

Jono

Jono clicked restlessly through the internet chat rooms. This was the worst thing about not sleeping. There was no one to talk to...not that he wanted to talk to people. He just...bleedin' 'eck, he got so bored. There were only so many sites he wanted to look at, and when he got bored...he remembered.

Gayle...god, he remembered Gayle. He'd put 'er in a wheelchair. The burning...it didn't 'urt, not anymore but that terrible blinding moment of flame fuelled clarity remained with him. Why 'adn't he died? He should 'ave died. He deserved to die. And dear god in 'eaven and all his bleeding angels, how he wished he 'ad. He was condemned to life as a freak. A hideous disgusting freak...

Even mutants didn't accept him. The bandages horrified them, and then made them bleeding well pity him. He DIDN'T WANT THEIR SODDING PITY! He just wanted to be left *alone*. He frowned and entered a different chat room. Quite a number of people in it. He decided to stick around and chat for a bit.

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: hi

TheBigBad: hi

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: asl?

TheBigBad: you wouldn't believe me if i told u, m, ny. u?

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: well, slightly disturbing but...18, m, ny

TheBigBad: what's with your name?

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: what's with yours?

TheBigBad: it's me, what can i say

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: yeah, so's mine

TheBigBad: ain't that bad, surely. got a pic?

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: *hollow laugh* i can send you one from before the accident. i'm a burns victim

Well, that's one way to put it, Jonothon thought to himself wryly.

TheBigBad: too bad, mate

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: one way of putting it, guv

TheBigBad: where you from originally? cos, i don't know many yanks who would use guv as slang

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: london. had to leave after the accident

TheBigBad: bloody hell. what are the odds? i'm from london origionally myself

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak really? or are you pulling my leg?

TheBigBad: honest to god

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak kinda odd

TheBigBad: tell me about it

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak just as long as you aren't in westchester

TheBigBad: ...

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: you bloody well are, aren't you? if that don't take the bleeding cake

TheBigBad: for all i know, you could be stalking me

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: wanker

TheBigBad: no, i have a beautiful blonde in my bed at the moment

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: *rolls eyes* whatever, mate

TheBigBad: bloody right, mate *smirks*

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: good for you then

TheBigBad: god, i'm sorry

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: what for?

TheBigBad: for being an insensitive tosser

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: *shrugs* as long as you don't pity me, don't really care

TheBigBad: oh, now i remember that feeling

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: y?

TheBigBad: bad things

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: alright, cobber, we won't talk about that then

TheBigBad: ta mate

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: so, the blonde in your bed...m/f?

TheBigBad: m

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: whatever rocks your boat, mate

TheBigBad: i g2g, he's waking up

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: cya then

TheBigBad: you often on late? *checks clock* early?

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: i don't sleep much

TheBigBad: talk to ya some other time mate. we can bitch about the lack of good footie and beer in this godforsaken country

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: football is football, and only these idiots call it soccer

TheBigBad: go manchester united!

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: too bleeding right

TheBigBad: ttl

Turn your eyes away, don't look at the bandages that cover me...freak: ok, guv

*TheBigBad has left the chatroom*

Jonothon sighed and left the chat room himself. He wasn't in the mood for talking anymore. What he wanted to do was sleep, and he couldn't do that...he surfed the net, feeling bitter and trapped by circumstances beyond his control.

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