Mouse
Mouse turned on the stereo system and spun the dial to make it scream at full volume. Linkin Park needed to be listened to, sung at and danced to the loudest volume possible. She spun around the room dizzily, Fafnir having left for the sake of his sensitive hearing and Nevyn gone into the walls to escape the pounding rhythm.
"Why does it feel like night today?" She howled along with the lead singer.
"Something in here's not right today…
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left," All too true.
"I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed / but
I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head
It's like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall," And I fall so often.
"(And watches everything)," she hissed with the vocal.
"So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me / right beneath my skin
It's like I'm / paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a / whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I / can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin
I know I've got a face in me
points out all the mistakes to me
You've got a face on the inside too and
Your paranoia's probably worse
I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can but
Everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when they close their eyes
A face watches every time they lie
A face that laughs every time they fall
(And watches everything)
So you know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is watching you too / right inside your skin
The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me..." She danced over to the player and
skipped ahead a few tracks.
"What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride / from these bad dreams
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I / sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I / try to catch them red – handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?" What a choice. She
still hadn't quite decided yet.
"Because I can't hold on / when I'm stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily façade but then
I just end up getting hurt again," Getting hurt was all she seemed to
do lately. By herself or others.
"By myself [myself]
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can't rely on myself
chorus:
I can't hold on
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in
If I
Turn my back I'm defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on / then they'll
Take from me `till everything is gone
If I let them go I'll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I'll be outrun
If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer
[by myself]
How do you think / I've lost so much
I'm so afraid / I'm out of touch
How do you expect / I will know what to do
When all I know / Is what you tell me to
Don't you know
I can't tell you how to make it go
No matter what I do, how hard I try
I can't seem to convince myself why
I'm stuck on the outside..." And wasn't this song her all over? Stuck
outside. Watching the people on the inside. She listened and danced
out her heartache that somehow always managed to sneak in these days.
Spun around and around in her apartment until she collapsed on the
carpet and cried. Then she got up, turned off the music and went to
find her wolf.