Mouse
Mouse sat in her apartment, mind curiosly numb. She hadn't been able to get the stain of Sidhe's blood out of the carpet. And the bed smelled like her. Kitten-y. Her bowl was in the corner, Mouse hadn't been able to throw it away yet. Because that would mean Sidhe was never coming back. And she could, right? She wasn't dead. Something so innocent and small couldn't die like that. In a flare of pain, and why? No. Didn't happen.
Mouse carefully didn't look at the bulletholes in the wall. The door had been fixed. And the super of the building had covered the panes of broken glass with board until the new doors came in. Fafnir was sleeping again, healing. The alien healer, Randy she thought his name was, had been helpful, but Fafnir still needed to rest up. Nevyn was back too. Tired, a bit lame from running but back. Sidhe wasn't. Never would. A tear slipped down Mouse's cheek. God, she felt so bad.
Her eyes tracked down to the table. A gun. A knife. She put a finger on the gun and spun it. One bullet in it. She picked it up and spun the barrels, placing the pistol under her chin. Click. Empty. Click. Empty. Once chance in six she'd end it. One chance in six. Click. Empty. She put the gun back down and picked up the knife. She drew it idly over the inside of her thigh. Not quite cutting through. Not quite slipping under the skin to the femoral artery, the one large one that could see you bleed to death in minutes. Almost better then the wrists in its way.
She traced the sole of her foot and then dug in the point of the knife. Red sprang up behind the silver and she put down her foot and picked up the other one. Same again, please. She let the sweet erasure of the blade lull her, and didn't notice Fafnir get up and slip out the door. Little cuts up her arms, not touching the tats. They'd been expensive. She put the now slightly wet knife down and picked up the gun again. Spin. Click. Spin. Click. Spin. Click.
No. Knife. Red and bleeding. Pain. She deserved pain. Mouse rolled up the leg of her jeans and started to nick the skin, droplets only. Watching with fascination as the blood welled to the surface.
~*~*~*~
Fafnir loped through Tulsa, cursing his wound as he tried to run faster. Not again. Dear god, please. If you listen to wolves at all, please not again. He arrived at the Hansons's house and pawed at the door frantically. Open! Oh, for the love of God, open! He howled. The door opened, he flashed inside. PACK! Oh, come, quick, oh please god, Mouse, oh god, please, please, come!
Taylor
Taylor didn't know what was happening. He felt so, out of it...
Then he heard Fafnir's frantic calls.
"Fafnir?!" he called, running from his room to meet the wolf at the stairs, "Fafnir, what's wrong with her?!"
Fafnir
Please, please, please, please Fafnir was a whimpering mess as he fastened his teeth in the hem of Taylor's t-shirt and tugged. Cutting again, she's bleeding and playing her game to see how close she can come to death. Blade and bullet. Quick, oh, you havta come NOW!
Taylor
"Oh man..." Taylor moaned, rubbing his head, "ok, ok, I'm coming."
He made Fafnir let go, grabbed his jacket, and some keys for one of the bikes. Then he opened the front door and hesitated.
He hadn't been outside before.
He cursed to himself. This was no time to hesitate.
He dashed out toward the garage and hurriedly pulled the door open. He grabbed one of the bikes, got on, pulled Fafnir onto the front of it, and started it.
"Hang on Fafnir. This'll get us there quicker."
He squeezed Fafnir between his arms so there was no hope of him falling off, before skidding as he took off down the street.
He just had to remember where Mouse lived.
Mouse
Fafnir whined as the bike shook underneath him. But Leader had him. So, it would be alright. Left, left here!
~*~*~*~
Mouse got up from the couch and went to lie down on her bed. She shucked off her jeans and lay there with the cool knife pressing against her skin, before she started to cut again. Red. She needed to see it bleed. The gun was calling too. She picked it up and studied it, laying the knife aside for the moment.
Taylor
Taylor felt the pain in his leg and shuddered. This connection must have gone way deeper than he thought.
"Ok, Faf', this is it, isn't it?" he pulled up at the apartment.
Fafnir darted from the bike and headed up to her room. Taylor dumped the bike in the driveway, put his sunnies on top of his head and raced after him.
He got to her door, opened it, let Fafnir through, and followed.
"JANE?!" he cried.
Mouse
Fafnir whimpered deep in his throat as he smelt the blood. Oh god. All over the couch. Blood. He padded inside, letting his nose do the work for him. The blood smell's just over everything. I can't tell...
Mouse spun the barrel of the gun, and leant her head back. Taylor? No. He wouldn't leave his room. Man, she really was going crazy. Hearing things. She let the metal rest against her throat and slowly pulled the trigger. Click. Spin. Click.
Bedroom. Mouse! Fafnir walked over to the door, limping.
Taylor
"JANE?!" Taylor cried again, searching the rooms.
He followed Fafnir to the bedroom, and saw her with the gun.
"OH my GOD!" he yelled, running over to her.
He pulled the gun from her hands and threw it across the room, his eyes tearing up at the sight of the blood.
"Jane, Jane... what... I mean... Oh God."
Mouse
"Huh, wha?" Mouse blinked up at him, more then a little bit dazed.
Mouse, please say you're alright, please, oh please. Fafnir crept along the bed, flat on his stomach, head and ears down.
"Fine, I'm fine. Why'd you...why'd you stop me?" Mouse couldn't help the tears that flowed down her cheeks. She turned over in the bed and hid her face in her pillow, shaking.
Taylor
"Mouse? Oh God..."
Taylor got down onto the bed with her, not caring that he was getting her blood all over him. He pulled her over by her shoulder and sat her in his lap.
"Jane? Oh God please, talk to me," he begged, as he hugged her to him, holding her head in his hand.
He kissed her forehead and he rocked her.
Mouse
"You're not here, you're not here, you can't touch me, I'm filthy, all the blood, and it won't come out, and Sidhe, and I can't, I can't..." Mouse pressed her hands over her eyes, trying to block everything out. "Sidhe, I'm so sorry, so sorry, so sorry, and I can't, can't make it stop hurting, all dirty, and I can't..."
Mouse, Mouse, Mouse, come back, you're safe, you're here, you're safe, come back, please, please, come back... Fafnir whimpered. She doesn't want you to be real, you see. Hasta blame herself, always. Mouse, come back.
Taylor
Taylor frowned.
"Then there's only one thing I can think of. If it worked for me it can work for her. Don't ask."
Carefully, he maneuvered his arms around Mouse so that he could carry her, and lifted her from the bed. He quickly remembered where the bathroom was, and took her towards it.
Once in, he kicked the door shut hoping no one would com in and see her like this. Then he set her down in the shower and turn the cold water on full throttle.
Mouse
Mouse sat upright gasping as the cold water poured down over her. Pink water swirled away from her body, stinging the cuts and scrapes she'd inflicted on herself. The white overlong t-shirt clung to her body as she stared around, water beading on her eyelashes. "C-c- cold!"
Now, that's probably the first intelligent thing you've said all day.
"Tay? Oh god." She curled up in the bottom of the shower, water beating down on her shoulders. mortified with shame.
Taylor
As soon as Taylor saw she'd come to her senses, he shut the water off and quickly pulled her up. He grabbed a nearby towel and flung it around her, trying his best to dry her a bit before she might catch a cold.
"Sorry about that, it was the only thing I could think of."
He rubbed his eyes.
"Why'd you do that, huh?" he began softly.
Mouse
Mouse shook with cold. "I-I-I don't know. Hurt. Needed...I don't know."
Please don't do it again. Scary enough last time. Fafnir pressed up against her leg.
Taylor
"Come on girl," he rubbed her shoulder, holding her close to him, "I almost lost Jess, I almost lost Avie, heck I almost lost myself. I don't need to lose you. Not now."
He nuzzled her neck sadly.
"I know Sidh'es gone, and there's nothing we can do about that. But think of what Sidhe would have wanted... you know, if she was sane. She wouldn't want you to be like this, would she?"
Mouse
"I don't know Tay...I'm just so sick of it. Everything. So tired...and now I've got someone hunting me. You ever watched a hunted animal, Taylor? When they look up, and see the hunter? Know it's time to die..." Mouse swayed a bit on her feet.
You shut up about that! It isn't your time to die! Not now, not for a bloody long time after I'm gone, and Nevyn's gone too! Twoleggers live longer, you *know* that.
"An' I don't matter so much. I don't. Some worthless street kid. Plenty of us around. You'd keep going, Tay. You have your family, and me? I'm nothing."
Taylor
"No, no, no, no, no..." Taylor shook his head, realizing he'd been saying that alot lately.
"Mouse, you are something. To the world you may be only one person, but to one person you are the world. Jane, you are my world, ok? You're Fafnir's world too. And Nevyn's. And you were definately Sidhe's."
He hugged her tighter and squeezed his eyes shut.
"I can't lose you. Not now."
Mouse
"God, we're both so screwed in the head." Mouse let him hold her. "I can't, can't promise not to do it again. But I won't let it go so far." She shivered.
Taylor
"At least I have an excuse to be screwed up there... well, you do too."
Taylor considered his options.
"Do you... Do you want to come and stay at our place for a while? Or better yet, want me to stay here? I just really do not need a repeat episode of this."
Mouse
"I can't stay here...it's too quiet. No matter how far I turn my music up, it's too quiet. And her blood wuh, wuh, won't come out of the carpet!" Mouse lost it then and there, breaking down into tears and clinging to him so she didn't fall down. "Either you come stay, or I need to get out. I can't stand it!"
Taylor
"Ok, we'll get out of here. We can take Fafnir and Nevyn too," he insisted.
He looked her over and bit his lip.
"You'd better dry yourself off and get changed."
He helped her lean against the towel rack before making sure there was nothing she could hurt herself with. Then he went looking for some clothes.
When he opened her wardrobe, he jumped back for a second. Ok, she warned him. But woah...
He grabbed a bag to pack for her, and began chucking some of the clothes in. Then he grabbed a pair of jeans and a plain shirt, and took them back tot he bathroom for her.
"Here. Dry off and get changed. Come on Faf', help me."
He waited until Fafnir was out of the bathroom and closed the door on her. Then he went looking around for things she might need.
Mouse
Mouse dried herself, wincing as the towel dragged along her cuts. Why could she never remember how much it hurt like a son of a bitch afterwards? After the self-loathing and hatred died down, and she had to walk and stuff. Ok, walking may be a bit of a problem for a while. She drew the jeans up over her legs and slipped the shirt on. She opened the door, and walked out. Fafnir pressed up against her legs, and she hissed and before he could pull away, grabbed his ruff. I'm sorry.
I know.
Forgive me?
Have already. Nothing to forgive. And with that, all was good between the two of them.
"I'm sorry, Tay. I just..." She shook her head, not knowing any words.
Taylor
"It's ok angel," Taylor insisted, coming over to her and wrapping his arms around her, "believe it or not, I understand. Even though it was so long ago."
He kissed her forehead, then pulled away. He grabbed her bag that he'd packed from the bed.
"We're ready to go if you are."
Mouse
Nevyn? The rat climbed up her back and settled on her shoulder. "Ready. I don't know if I can ever come back..." She traced one of the bulletscars in the wallpaper, reliving that endless moment when Sidhe froze in shocked pain. "I just...I keep seeing Sidhe spin and fall. The door cave in. Fafnir getting shot...Ike getting hurt. My fault. If I'd kept running...she probably would never have tracked me down. And everyone would be alright."
Taylor
"It's ok now. Maybe when we get back to my place you could call on the cats. They might set you up with a new place."
With her bag in one hand, he leant over her shoulder to kiss her neck, then took her hand.
"Come on Fafnir," he indicated for the wolf to lead the way, "if you never want to see this place again and the cats set you up, I'll come back and get the rest of your stuff."
Withthat, he closed the door on the way out, and led her down to where his bike lay on it's side.
Mouse
"I still can't believe you came...thought I was hearing things and going even more crazy then I usually have been lately." Mouse wiped at her eyes. "I don't think I could bear to see it again. Oh, I miss Mama. You wouldn't know her, but I think I've mentioned her a few times. the traiteur in New Orleans?"
Mmph. Can we go? I'll...run. That thing stinks. fafnir gave the bike a glare of contempt. See you at the lair.
Taylor
"Well I won't lie to you," Taylor chuckled, standing the bike up and helping her on before getting on himself, "I'm shaking like hell. It's been the first time I've been out of the house. Avery helped me out of my room on Sunday. I just feel like..."
He hesitated, wondering if it was the best time. Maybe not.
"Nevermind. Let's just get you back."
And with that, he started the bike, told her to hold on, and began off down the street.
Mouse
Mouse closed her eyes and clung to his back. What had she done to deserve a guy like this? Must have been something she'd done in her last life, cos she sure as heck hadn't been a saint this time round.
Fafnir stood there for a moment, and watched them go. He sighed, shook his head and started to trot. He wasn't running anymore today. Thought he might've torn something. Ow. He limped on, still sticking to the shadows like his wild nature told him to.
They arrived at the Hanson house, and Mouse swung off the back of the bike. She took her bag off Taylor and waited for him to put the bike away. "I...thanks. J'ai été perdu et vous m'avez trouvé. Je ne sais pas que je ferais sans vous. Vous avez dit que j'étais votre monde. ..te tout moi. Si vous me partez, je pense que je mourrais." Mouse held his eyes. She couldn't say this in English. "Vous ne savez pas que vous me signifiez."
Taylor
Taylor grinned and ran his fingers down the side of her face.
"J'ai voulu dire chaque mot. Je ne veux pas vous perdre, vous signifie trop à moi."
He bit his lip, then took her bag from her.
"Shall we?" he nodded to the front door.
He desperately needed to get inside.
Mouse
"Yeah. Guess I'm staying here for a while." Mouse walked up to the door with him and they both stepped inside. "Merci. J'adore tu, vous savez cela?" He nodded, she smiled. They walked up to Taylor's room, and she went inside ahead of him, dropping her bag on the floor.
Mousey! Flav new dad! Look! Flavian squealed.
"The fuzzles were born?" Mouse looked at Taylor, smile curving her lips.
Taylor
"Yep. On the 29th actually."
Taylor picked her bag up and put it on his bed, then went to stick his head out the window.
"Hey!" he called out to one of the Ka'Millans passing by.
They looked up.
"Fafnir's coming. When he gets here, tell him to come up."
Then he turned back and went over to the fuzzles.
"Oh yes, this one's a very proud father," he grinned at Flavian as he bounced.
Mouse
"Yep, got that coming off him in waves. And more little baby fuzzle thoughts..." Mouse cooed as she looked in on them. Then she saw Malory. "Now, that one is not a happy little fuzzle." She shivered as she felt his emotions. "The black one. Feels...wrong, somehow."
Taylor
Taylor frowned.
"Don't tell me you're beginning to sense the future too. He's meant to be a normal fuzzle until... well, I don't know when. Apparently he hits a certain age..."
He cut himself off, wondering if he should re-tell what his father had told him.
"His name's Malory. It's french."
Mouse
"Bad luck..." Mouse whispered, eyes wide. "Malory is bad luck in French. Is he?"
Taylor
Taylor nodded slowly and took her hand.
"My dad sat down and had a talk with me - when I first found out Meena was pregnant."
He led her back to the bed, so he could whisper to her without the baby fuzzles hearing.
"He said black and white fuzzles are extremely rare. They're kind of like, good and evil, even though it's hard to believe it that kind of stuff."
He glanced at the box.
"White ones are good ones, and apparently black ones are evil. Apparnetly when he hits a certain age he's gonna cause alot of trouble."
He took her other hand so he held both.
"Apparently black fuzzles have been known to kill alot of people, but we're going to keep an eye on him."
Mouse
"Yeah..." Mouse shook her head. "Why couldn't he have been white? Poor Flav and Meena if something goes wrong..."
Taylor
"Well, Jess wants to keep Malory as far as I know. So, if she doesn't keep an eye on him I definately will."
He let go of her hands and made his way back over to them.
"Mouse... I want you to meet the fuzzles," he grinned, picking them up, three in each hand.
"Mya, Dorian, Xanthe... Malory, Aricin and Jade."
He chuckled.
"Avery's got dibs on Jade, and Jess wants Malory. I'm definately keeping Xanthe... do you still want one?"
Mouse
"Oh, they're sweet!" Mouse exclaimed. "Done yourself proud, you two." Flavian and Meena beamed as Mouse cooed over their babies. "I don't know. They're too cute. I wouldn't know which on to pick."
Flav heard about kitty. Flav sorry. Flavian spoke up. Mouse smiled sadly.
Yeah. Me too. So, which one of your babies do you think would like to live with me?
All be happy. I be happy you have one, Mousey.
"Dorian maybe..." Mouse tickled the baby fuzzle with her finger and it squeaked happily.
Taylor
"Ah," Taylor grinned, "he and Aricin are the trouble makers. Wrestling is their favourite hobby at the moment."
He tickled Xanthe on the head and chuckled as the fuzzle purred.
"Dorian is Greek for 'From The Sea', because his colour reminds me of the ocean. That greeny-blue."
He sighed and scratched his head.
"Well, I'd better set up a bed for you. My parents probably won't mind you sleeping in here, and if they do I'll just sleep in Ike's room again."
Mouse
"Yeah..." She smiled as she watched the baby fuzzles play. "And troublemaker? I need another one of those..." Her smile faltered for a moment. "You don't think your parents will mind if I stay here, do you? It'll proabably only take a copule of days..."
Taylor
"After that 'sex' talk you had? I really don't think it'll be a problem. I think mom trusts you enough."
He put two of his fingers under her chin and lifted it so he could kiss her again.
"Si vous sentez jamais la nécessité d'être comme cela encore, svp appelez-au moins moi. Que je serai là dans un flash."
Mouse
"Merci, m'amour. J'adore tu. Vous faites l'a endommagé à l'intérieur pas si mauvais. If it ever comes to that again...I'll call you first." She leant her head against his chest.