Mouse
Mouse closed her door and started off down the street. Her shoulders were hunched over as she tried to marshall her thoughts. Jessie had tried to curt her wrists? She just wished she could get her hands on Owen again. He wouldn't have left them intact. She walked through Tulsa, thinking, and before she knew it, she was at the Hansons' door. She knocked. "Hey, Mrs Hanson? I was talking to Zac onlinelast night, and he told me about Jessie...I came over to talk with her."
"I appreciate the thought, Jane dear, but what can you do?" Diana looked at Mouse, and the other empath could feel her pain.
"I've been there. She might like talking to someone who gets the feelings she's got." Unconsciously, Mouse scratched at one of her tattoo bracelets, feeling the ridge of scar tissue under them.
"If you think you can help..." Diana opened the door wider and Mouse went in. "I think she's in her room."
Mouse went upstairs and knocked on Jessie's door. "Hey, Jessie? It's Mouse. I think we should talk."
Jess
Jessi was so sick over everybody trying to help.
"If you've come to try and bond with me, to tell me that you 'know how I feel' you can just fuck off, because I don't wanna here you," she glowered.
Mouse
Mouse grinned, and opened the door. Anger she could work with. Anger meant Jess wasn't totally gone. "Hey, anger is healthy. And I know how you feel, probably more then anyone else here. That dead, dead inside and out feeling, where you cut yourself just to feel the pain. When everything is so bad you can't see your way out..." Mouse stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. "The blood washing down the drain means an ending. And you're so sick of being. Stopping it all sounds so good."
Jess
Jessi's eyes widened. "How do you know?" she asked. Then she looked down. "but it doesn't work anymore. Nothing works. Wish I were dead." she growld. "Maybe I should just fire-bomb thw whole house."
Mouse
"You need to find your own way out of the pit. Cutting doesn't do it." Mouse rubbed her wrists, looking distant. "Cos, that's a way of admitting that the bastards who put you there won. You're better then Owen was anyday, and I'm better then my foster father. You need to win. I want you to win. Your family wants you to win. Every day you live, you win."
Jess
"Do they?" Jessi looked into Mouse's eyes. "They don't think I'm just a screw-up? A failure? They still love me? They say it, but I don't believe them, but if you say it, and mean it, I might be able to believe you," Jessi said, honestly.
Mouse
"How could they not love you?" Mouse said honestly. "You, you're a wonderful person. If they could even think about accepting me, they love you for sure! And it is never your fault. Ever. What happened...use it to make yourself stronger. But don't go so far into yourself you're cut off. Cos, then Owen wins again. Fine line, but we can walk it."
Jess
"Will. . .will you help me?" Jessi asked, hesitantly. "I do want to get better."
Mouse
"You never even needed to ask." Mouse smiled. "We scarred ones havta stick together. Everyone means so well, but they just don't get it..." She shook her head. "Zac didn't mention...did you scar? That's why I got these." Mouse rolled the cuffs of her top back, exposing her tattoos. "Remind me not to go there, and to cover up the scarring. I cut myself deep, and for a long time. Only really tried to really do it the once. Someone found me before I bled out. Barely though."
Jess
"The Healer fixed my wrists up, I did it the long way. But I still have these," Jessi showed Mouse the series of cigarette birs on her arm, "And these," she showed her the cuts all around her ankles.
Mouse
"Cigarettes? I never did that...my foster father liked to use me as an ashtray so it never appealed. A knife though..." Mouse shook her head free of the dark memory. "We can get you inked to cover them up...I know someone in town who's clean and doesn't care how old you are. Do you think your mom would freak?"
Jess
"I don't know. She's never even noticed this," Jessi said, sticking out her tongue so that Mouse could see the flesh-coloured barbell she wore when she was at home.
Mouse
Mouse grinned. "For an empath, your mom can be very unobservant...and that's pretty cool. I thought about getting one, but being able to talk was always more important. How did you manage when you first got it in?"
Jess
Jess grinned. "I didn't, for about a day. Avie and I talked telepathically, and she told everybody that I had laryngitis, and my throat was swollen, so I stayed in bed while mom brought me chicken soup. It was a blast. And my boyfriend at the time thought it would be fun for kissing. His older brother owns a piercing parlour, so he did it for me."
Mouse
"Sounds fun." Mouse's expression went evil. "Bet he thought that wasn't all it would be fun for..." She grinned at Jessi.
Jess
Jessi grinned. "Haven't tried that yet. You know what, though? I'm not sure if she was supposed to tell me this, but I got an email from Dawn, and she said that Oliver has a crush on me. He is very cute," she grinned.
Mouse
"See, you have stuff to live for. More then I did. You have people that love you, a cute guy crushing on you...should at least follow that up, but don't tell your mom I said that. After I borrowed Faith's fashion sense, I don't think she's looked at me in quite the same way." Mouse smiled. "I'm allowed to have facets."
Jess
"Mouse, I have got to her out of this house. Take me shopping?" Jessi asked, desparate for an escape. Lately Walker and Diana had been watching her like a haw, and she had to sneak out of her window at night.
Mouse
"Love to. Fafnir's pretty darn strong, I think we'd be good with the wolf at our sides." Mouse went to the window and looked down. "Or do you wanna sneak out?"
Jessica
"The window's faster," Jessi said, smiling, "You just gotta use the atom manipulation to slow you down, and you float to the ground. It's fun." She grabbed her purse and opened the window. "Wanna go?"
Mouse
"Let's. I got a lot of practice at sneaking out of windows..." Mouse grinned, and then whistled sharply. Fafnir loped out of the neighbour's yard and gave her an innocent look. "OK. Never really was one for front doors. Let's go." Mouse swung her body over the windowsill and dropped easily to the ground. She looked up at Jessi, and waved before moving out of the way.
Jessica
Jessi jumped out of the window, making the atoms in the air heavier below her to slowly float her down.
"I love doing this. I need some serious mall therapy. Actually, I could really use another piercing, and it would be cool to see about getting inked, if you were serious, so, whaddya say?"
Mouse
"Sounds cool to me. Ankles, maybe? They had some very cool designs out at this place. I was thinking about getting another tat myself. I was thinking a spider, just for remembrance." They started walking.
Jessica
Jess thought for a bit.
"I think I'll design one for myself, for my arm at least, and maybe for my ankles. The Dathrian symbols for death, perhaps. But what I think I want on my arm is a bird of some sort. It's a dream symbol for death or suffering. If you dream of birds, it means you have a lot of death on your mind, or in your subconscious." Jess smiled ironically.
"Hey, I wonder what the Dathrian symbol for evisceration is. Maybe a translation of 'it hurts like hell'." She took in a sharp breath. "Do you have aqny idea what he did to me? To my subconscious? Well, he captured my dream body, which is the subconscious representation of my physical self. Kinda like the Matrix, without the computers, or the guy from Pricilla, Queen of the Desert." she smiled. "He raped me. He beat me. He eviscerated me, removed my intestines. he slowly, ritualistically, flayed me, removing every inch of skin piece by piece. Mouse, he cut open my breasts and removed my nipples, and that's not even the worst of it. He mutilated me in more way than I though possible, but because it was just my dream self, I didn't die. I couldn't die. All that stuff you hear about dying in your dreams makes you die in real life? That's all bull. He, he broke me Mouse. I didn't want to let him, but he broke me." Jessi felt the tears coming back up again.
Mouse
"So, you win again by living." Mouse shrugged. "Every breath you take, proves how much of a loser he was, is. Do you wanna tell the kitties? They'd give him to their mother. His soul. He'd get what happened to you, forever and ever and ever. Kitties like vengeance."
Jessica
"The kitties can have him. He's already suffering, Willow stripped him of his powers, but he needs to suffer more. Ooh, is this the parlour you were talking about?" Jessi asked as they walked by a tattoo and piercing parlor.
Mouse
"Well, he can live, and then the kitties can have him!" Mouse clapped her hands. "Bastet will take him if I ask her. Yep. This one's pretty good. Where do you think I should get my new one? My ass?"
Jessica
"Nah, do it somwhere everyone can see. Hmm, what should I get? I do want a new piercing, as well, I think."
Mouse
"A broken heart," Mouse suggested. "Dripping blood. Or maybe flames. A heart wreathed in flame. That could be cool. The back of my hand? Just a small one."
Jessica
"Oh, I know what I want!" Jessi said. "Well, to cover the scars on my ankle, at lease. I want a phoenix, surrounded by flames. On my arm, I want a tribal cuff, like Faith's, I love her tat," she said, smiling. And I think I'm gonna get my eyebrow pierced. I already have my tongue and belly button," Jessi grinned. "You're right, Jane, this does make the pain go away a bit. I feel better already, and I haven't done anything yet."
Mouse
"Phoenix has good meanings. Rising from the ashes, triumphing from what should have destroyed. Flames are healing and cleansing. Sounds like an idea." They went in and started browsing through the designs available.
Jessica
Jessi sat down with the tattoo artist and together they desined the perfect tat for her ankle: a phoenix, being engulfed by flames, wings outspread. and she perused the designs before she picked the tribal cuff for her arm, to cover her cigarette burns. It actually wove around them in parts, and the final affect would be beautiful.
"Okay, let's do this," she said, sitting on the table.