24 December 2003 - Night songs

Tegan

Jono

Again, bloody well again, Jonothon grabbed his guitar, his notes and a flashlight and headed for somewhere quiet to write.

God, people could be noisy when they were f*cking.

He tuned his guitar by ear, and then settled to work. People would never believe what a bloody drag no sleeping was.

"This is the story of me
A way to shout out who I am
I'm calling to the stars above
Howling like a hungry wolf
Lost in my head, I'm lost in my head

Gaping wounds, stitch covered incisions
The world's run away on me again
It's upside down and inside out
And I'm trying to make my way through it
Voices yell, scream, shout it out
This is the story of me
A story of me

I'm calling to the great beyond
Are you listening, you PTB?
I'm fed up with this life that is
I'm dying of a world of negativity
This is a story of me
My story, writ large for all to see
If they have eyes to see

Black eyes, bruises
Drown your sorrows with me
I've got them too, written out upon my skin
Tick, tock, the clock on the wall
Says that time is over
Time to die, time to fly, end of the line, end of the story

I'm changed in everything
A burst of flame and life is burnt away
Endless soundless screams in the dark of night
And the beat, beat, heartbeat of the world
Resounding in my skull, sending me mad
This is the story of me

Stigmata, I'm bleeding, you see
Blessed, cursed, devoted
I don't go to Sunday School no more
Guardian angels failed me
This is the story, the story of me
Lost my faith in God...SCREW YOU!

The world's fucked me over yet again
Left bleeding, dying by the roadside
I'm roadkill on the highway of life
Something better's gonna come one day
This is the story of me
And sing with me, oh blessed be, oh blessed fucking be

Sod it, bloody go home now
Socialite butterfly, flutter away from me
Desperate eyes above a nothing face
Draws no cards
Hey, is it my turn to bluff?
This is my story, the fucked up life of me
Adjust your sets for pleasant viewing
I'm going home now
1, 2, 3 - FUCK OFF!"

Jonothon wrote down what he had changed.

"Shut your eyes, baby
Don't you cry
Wash my hands clean
We'll have a new life

Lie to me
Tell me that you love me
We'll start again
After we've washed the blood away

Take some Prozac
Numbs the pain
Handy little pills of white
Helps dull the blood dripping down the walls

Lie to me
Tell me that you love me
We'll start again
After we've washed the blood away

Your hands, my hands
Dipped in the red of life
Starting again, we'll start again
Close your eyes and open them to a new life

Lie to me
Tell me that you love me
We'll start again
After we've washed the blood away

Here's where we begin again
I'll kiss you goodbye
Push you down and go
Unseeing eyes watch me go

Lie to me
Tell me that you love me
We'll start again
After we've washed the blood away

Lie to me
Tell me that you love me
We'll start again
After we've washed the blood away

Starting again, starting again, starting again, a new life without you..."

"Nightmare dreaming
A beast howls inside my head
Sweat drenched sheets
And sleepless nights

Afraid to sleep, afraid to wake
Afraid the nightmare is real
Ebony hide and hooves of cast iron
Rolling bloodshot eyes, carrying my bad dreams to me

Tell me my nightmare isn't real
I'll believe you for a while
Until the next night, the next beating
When it comes to life in my mind

Nightmare dreaming
Incision of the mind
Banished by daylight, gone by morning light
Hear that? There's a snickering whicker on the wind..."

"I'm looking for a door into Summer
It's winter all around me
And I'm cold, I'm cold

People have been looking funny at me
Like maybe, maybe I'm just a little crazy
All I'm looking for is a door into Summer
All my doors are leading me into Winter

I'm looking for a door into Summer
It's winter all around me
And I'm cold, I'm cold

Cold outside, inside, all around me
Will you bring me a blanket?
I'm sure Summer is just beyond the next door
Girl, you remind me of Summer, is it near?

I'm looking for a door into Summer
It's winter all around me
And I'm cold, I'm cold

One day I'll find my door into Summer
And it'll all be just fine
Take my hand and walk with me
We've a door to find

I'm looking for a door into Summer
It's winter all around me
And I'm cold, I'm cold
I'm looking for a door into Summer
It's winter all around me
And I'm cold, I'm cold

Door into Summer, I know there's gotta be a door into Summer,
looking for sunshine, I'm cold, where's that door? Door into Summer,
door into Summer, door into Summer, door into Summer, door into
Summer..."

"There's no excuse
For the way things have to be
Welcome to America, land of the fucking free
Belivers in democracy

Because they die for Mom and apple pie
To keep their hands on the nuclear reins
'Nam, Korea, they never learned from history
The bew catchcries resound so loud
Terrorist, 9/11, Iraq, Iran, it's a crusade

Military education for the poor
The people of the Head Count, dying in droves
All hail New Rome, the American Republic
I can hear Ceaser laughing, can't you?

Pax Americana, oh yeah, we believe
Treaties signed in innocent blood
It's called collateral damage, sir
Does it matter? They weren't Americans, anyway

Quick fix, slap a bandaid on it
Try to impose the Pax Americana
Slap my wrist, oh yeah, I'm a bad boy
Legal trials for all, viva Guantanamo Bay

Pax Americana
A bloodbought uneasy peace
Cloning America around the world
Welcome to McDonald's, billions served!"

"Pretty girl, pretty boy
Does it matter?
Can you even tell?
Whoa-oh oh, party hard tonight

Tight skirt, tighter shirt
Blue, blue eyes and golden curls
Made up, make-up
Pretty little living doll

Use me, I'm beautiful
Lips prettier bruised
Use me like you wanna
Morning I'll be gone

Quick fuck up against the alley wall
I know all the hour rent hotels
Use me, I feel like a whore
Whoa-oh oh, party hard tonight

Meet me in the nightclub
Gaily laughing my life away
A glance, a flirt, quick bat of the eyelashes
What I want is physical, can you give it to me?

Fuck me, use me, abuse me
I'm lovely, I'm pretty, I look pure
My worth is measured in my body
Whoa-oh oh, party hard tonight..."

"Going home, going home
I wish that I was going home
Lost without a lifeline
Memories are all I can find

Oh god, how I wish I was going home
Nothing's quite the same elsewhere
I'm a stranger in a strange land
And I can't find my way home

Lost without a trace
Excuse me, have you seen this man?
Oh, I wish I was going home
Home, home, wish I knew my way home

I pick up the newspaper to scan it for news of home
Nothing there today, try again tomorrow
I'm out of place with the world around me
I need to find a way home

Home, only a word
Contains a wealth of feeling
It's connection, it's belonging
It's something I've never found again

You can never go home
Never go home again
I wanna go home, wanna go home
But I can't do that again..."

Jonothon sat back and watched the sun rise, before thoughtfully playing the opening chords of 'Little town of Bethelem'.

"Oh little town of Bethelem
How still we see thee lie..."

OOC:
Songs

"Story of me" by Jono
"New life" by Jono
"Nightmare" by Jono
"Door into Summer" by Jono
"Pax Americana" by Jono
"Doll" by Jono
"Home" by Jono

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