Mouse
Fafnir eyed Taylor for a moment, intensely distrustful of all fuzzles at the moment and sincerely unhappy about the not being allowed to kill Malory thing.
Mouse rubbed his ears as she made her way into the kitchen and got a glass of water to drink.
"Just calm it down, wolf."
Highly unlikely to happen.
Shut it, Mate and grow up some! Bets snapped.
Fafnir growled back at her, then moodily stalked out into the backyard.
Honestly, you'd think *he* was the one carrying the pups they way he goes on! Bets said.
Mouse chuckled slightly.
"Yeah, he does tend to come off like that..."
*
Taylor
"Hey!" Taylor exclaimed, sighting Dorian.
He reached up to pull the fuzzle out of the Christmas tree.
"And what do you think you're doing? Rascal. Thank God Aricin isn't here."
Dorian sulked a little, and Taylor chuckled.
"I was only kidding, yeesh."
Dorian bounced a little, as Mya continued making a nest in Taylor's hair.
Mouse.
"Slightly distracted, Taylor?" Mouse said dryly.
Bets sniffed and then curled up on her rug in the corner of the room.
Annoying balls of fluff.
"But they're so cute...when they're not trying to kill you, but that's only Malory cos he's black," Mouse said, then frowned.
"And my, that sounded awfully racist."
Taylor
"It's in his nature," Taylor shrugged, "it has nothing to do with influence. It's foretold and all that jazz."
He rolled Xanthe onto her back and tickled her, making the fuzzle jolt with giggles.
"And I don't want any of you guys sneaking down here before Thursday to open presents. If you do, I'll know."
Mouse.
"And would we do that? Nooooo..."
Mouse shook her head, grinning.
"God, this has to be a dream..."
Taylor
"Why?" Taylor smiled absently.
Dorian took that moment to pounce on Meena from behind and make her squeal in fright. Taylor chuckled.
"Be nice to your mother," he insisted, giving Dorian a small whack.
The fuzzle just giggled to himself.
Mouse.
"Because it's far too normal and nice to be my life," Mouse said.
Bets snorted slightly.
I'm not part of any dream.
Taylor
"Well get used to it," Taylor chuckled, as Flavian came to help him tickle Xanthe.
Mya had fallen asleep in her gold nest, content to know she was with Taylor.
Meena scolded Dorian again for scaring her, before waddling over to give him a kiss for forgiveness.
Mouse.
Mouse smiled slightly.
"I'm afraid to."
She walked over slowly and sat down next to him carefully, one hand in the small of her back.
"Ok, I just want to give birth already and stop looking like a hippo. Whale, I'm too fat to be a hippo."
Taylor
Taylor leant over and kissed her.
"You're just fine," he insisted, letting Flavian take over the tickling.
"And it won't be long now. Let's just hope it isn't Christmas Day."
Mouse.
"Hear that?" Mouse said to her stomach.
"You're not allowed to get born until after Christmas."
^^^Huh?What?^^^
Taylor
Taylor chuckled.
"At least that way we don't have to rush and get them Christmas presents," he raised his eyebrows, "I bet a lot of people give us baby stuff as presents."
Mouse.
"Well, that'll be good," Mouse said.
"Means we don't have to go and buy it ourselves."
Taylor
"Not that it would have been a real problem anyway," Taylor shrugged.
He hesitated, his attention turned to Dorian who was rolling around in circles. He pulled a small bit of tinsel off the Christmas tree and put it on him.
Mouse.
Mouse giggled slightly as the fuzzle went round and round in circles, peeping slightly.
"I think he's confused...but yeah. Money not an issue, really."
Taylor
"Not at the moment," Taylor agreed, "I guess it depends how the label goes. And the album."
He tucked some of his hair behind his ear, and just watched the fuzzles for a moment.
"Can I ask why you were mad at me?" he asked suddenly.
Mouse.
"I was actually talking about the money the cats gave me, but yeah," Mouse said.
"And I said, don't worry about it."
Taylor
"I don't want to take advantage of them too much," Taylor considered.
"And if something was bothering you, then I am worried about it. I wasn't reading much into it. And if I ignored it, then what kind of boyfriend would I be?"
Mouse.
"Well, if we're into the whole sharing thing at the moment, why does mentioning Natalia freak you out so much?" Mouse said snippily.
Taylor
Taylor blanched for a second, not expecting the sudden reference.
"I* that, that's what it was? That's what had you mad?" he looked worried.
Mouse.
Mouse gave him a look.
"Um, yeah-huh. Pretty much."
Bets snapped lazily at Dorian when he came too close.
"Bets, leave the fuzzle alone. I just...didn't like feeling shut out Cos it obviously upset you, and you wouldn't say why..."
Taylor
"Mouse, I*" Taylor shook his head slightly, searching for the right words.
"I never meant to hurt you by that. Never. I'm, I was*"
He put his hand to his forehead and closed his eyes, looking for a way out.
Finally, he looked up at the window.
"I* was buried alive for a few days straight, last time," his gaze fell to the floor, even though he was sitting on it, "I* I'm claustrophobic. I'm hoping he doesn't know that."
He took a deep breath, and looked toward the door - anywhere but at her.
"I had to pretend I'd broken so he wouldn't crucify me, and they're* they're the things that didn't draw blood."
Mouse.
Mouse put her hands on his shoulders and started soothing him empathically.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Taylor
"I can barely tell myself let alone anyone else," Taylor frowned, then bit his lip.
He stopped himself getting too emotional.
"But when I first got there, umm* Blakesley took me somewhere. He was, saying stuff* He told me about the ah* the Mexican. Made me watch the tape on repeat when he got shot."
Mouse.
Mouse started.
"I remember that...he...if he had just stopped, but he didn't trust *us*..."
Taylor
"He showed me some tapes before that," Taylor's voice croaked slightly, "I was* we were talking about why he was there. He needed the money to send home to his family, so they could survive."
He rubbed his face with his hand.
"I promised him I'd get him out of there. He was a professor of some sort. I told him I could probably find somewhere for him*" he cut himself off and shook his head, before he could start crying.
Mouse.
Mouse massaged his shoulders slowly.
"I didn't get my memory wiped...mainly cos I trust telepaths about as far as I could throw them as a collective group. He died at peace, Tay. It wasn't your fault."
Taylor
"I promised him a better life. And then I wanted to forget him. I don't know* I should have kept the damn memories. Avery knows not to go into my head anyway."
He covered his face with his hands for a moment, then tried to relax under the massage.
"Blakesley asked if you'd told me what Natalia was carrying, when she was pregnant," he looked to the ceiling, feeling his body tense again as he even thought about it.
"I said you'd told me it was probably a clone. It wasn't a clone."
Mouse.
"Oh god..." Mouse whispered.
"He could have been lying. He'd say anything to get a reaction. We never saw the lab sheets or anything..."
Taylor
"But we don't know that for sure," Taylor shook his head.
"As far as things stand at the moment, I lost my first*" he fidgeted, not able to keep still, "my first son."
He tried to untangle Mya from his hair, then set her down on a nearby cushion without waking her before standing up.
"I can't* I can't even think. Everything is just happening at once, and it's not slowing down. It's like everyone's out to get me and there's not a damn thing I can do about it."
Mouse.
"Join the club, mon cher," Mouse said dryly.
"Least you can run, or have the ability to. Eventually, everything passes..."
Taylor
"I can run, but I can't hide," Taylor shook his head.
"I do* I would definitely, love to actually kill Blakesley," he looked up at her for a moment, after noticing his hands shaking, "but I know that if I ever get the chance to face him, that I'm not gonna have the guts. I learnt that when I went shopping with Bee, and I was only lucky because he was there."
He ran his fingers through his hair.
"He's not always gonna be there."
Mouse.
"Blakesley knows if I ever get the chance to, he's a dead man," Mouse said.
"Even if I have to tear out his throat myself."
Or we don't get there first. Bets said.
Which we will, cos I am going to EAT HIM. Fafnir growled.
Taylor
"Fafnir, you seriously choose the worst of times for everything," Taylor said, exasperated.
"I just*"
He stood with his hand on his hip and head in his hand for a moment.
"I'm so $#!+ing sick and tired of this. How many people do we have after us anyway? Blakesley, Craig*" he counted off on his fingers, "Malory, that woman with wings that threatened to, in her words, `eat my heart'*"
Mouse.
Fafnir cowered back slightly, whining. He crept over to Taylor on his belly, ears laid flat against his skull.
Sorry, Alpha.
"Which she isn't going to do," Mouse said.
"Why do you have to go of at Faf all the time, anyway? He's a wolf, he can only react the way his instincts tell him. And right now, they're all focused on protecting us so I don't see why he should have to apologise. Fafnir, get up."
Fafnir got uneasily to his feet, head swinging to regard Mouse and Taylor in worry.
Taylor
"I'm sorry Fafnir, I really am. But I'm not always going off at him," Taylor defended, "I just don't always get where he's coming from. I'm only used to* to domestic dogs and wild dogs. Not the in between. And Fafnir isn't truly wild."
Taylor gulped, and stepped away from the fuzzles as the tried to hug his ankles.
"I just* seriously, need some alone time. I can't deal with the crowd. And I can't do that, because if I step out the front door without protection I risk getting slaughtered."
Mouse.
Mouse frowned slightly, getting where he was coming from.
"I wish we could just leave...go somewhere else. Just leave all thi shit behind..."
She covered her face with her hand and took several deep breaths.
"I feel like I'm suffocating. I've never stayed in one place for this long before."
And I think I'm going mad, she said to herself.
"I never used to snap so easy. I'm sorry, Tay. I don't know what's go into me lately..."
Taylor
"Mouse, you're pregnant, you have an excuse. An obvious one," Taylor said, grabbing her by the shoulders and looking into her eyes.
"My excuse is that I'm going $#!+ing mental, and hardly anyone even knows about it."
Taylor looked at the way he'd grabbed her, then backed off suddenly.
"I'm so sorry," he covered his mouth with his hand, tears springing into his eyes.
Mouse.
"I'm alright," Mouse said softly.
"Taylor, you didn't hurt me. I've gotten worse hits then that from people who only wanted to wake me up, let alone actually hurt me."
She walked over to him slowly and took his hand from his mouth before kissing him, squeezing his hand lightly.
"I love you."
Taylor
Taylor responded emphatically for a moment, before pushing her away.
"I* I* I didn't mean to," he shook his head, "I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't*"
Mouse.
"We'll work it out," Mouse said.
"Somehow."
She swallowed the lump in her throat.
Taylor
"Oh I would love to know how," Taylor rolled his eyes.
Then he stopped himself again.
"Sorry."
He shook his head again, then sat down on a couch and put his head in his hands.
"What the hell did they do to me?"
Mouse.
"They hurt you a lot," Mouse said carefully.
"It's only normal that now you want other people to hurt as well."
Taylor
Taylor looked up in surprise.
"I don't want other people to hurt," he shook his head, "I mean, yeah, we all want justice, but I'd never take it out on* never take it out on anyone."
He looked down again.
"I just wanna know what they did to my head. The telepaths," he closed his eyes, "I hate not knowing what's going on. And I don't know what I'm gonna do if it gets worse*"
Mouse.
"Maybe you should see Tanya again," Mouse suggested.
"After Christmas is over. You trust her? Cos yeah, Avery might be strong but she doesn't have the training or the experience."
Taylor
"I* I don't know," Taylor shook his head.
"But I can't have Avery see those things in my head. I can't."
He hesitated and took a deep breath.
"I'll* I'll go and see her, sometime. I can't* I don't wanna hurt anyone, or really* I don't know. I can't think straight. It's so annoying."
Mouse.
"Everyone gets a little crazy sometimes," Mouse said.
"Couldn't you get her to put up one of those things Ike's got? A block of some kind?"
Taylor
Taylor just shook his head.
"I don't know the extent of the damage in my mind. If it was even possible to put up a shield, I might... accidentally break it down or something."
He leant his chin in his hand as Flavian waddled over to his foot.
"Tanya told me I'd damaged my own mind in Nevada, and I still have no idea how. I mean, how do I know I'm not doing it now? Without meaning to? I didn't even mean to when I did."
Mouse.
Fafnir slunk across the room to shove his muzzle demandingly under Mouse's hand. She petted him absentmindedly. Bets yawned.
Sometimes, one of the Folk will bite their own paw off to escape a trap. Mebbe you did something like that."I don't know..."
Mouse shook her head.
"I just don't know."
Taylor
"I hate not knowing," Taylor covered his face with his hands again, hiding tears.
He sighed, then moved his hand a little so he could see Flavian climbing up his leg. Flavian waddled so he was underneath her, in case she fell.
"I don't want to end up in a mental institute for this. I don't want to take it out on anyone, least of all you. I'm so sorry I did that..."
Mouse.
"Hey..."
Mouse reached out and ran her hand tenderly through his hair.
"I'm fine. Far as I'm concerned, you have nothing to be sorry for. Just...don't leave me."
Taylor
Taylor shrank away from her, her touch reminding him of Blakesley.
"At least if I wasn't around I wouldn't be able to hurt you," he considered, then shook his head.
"But I know it'd just hurt both of us if I left."
He sighed.
"I just don't know what to do."
Mouse.
"Live," Mouse said simply.
She put her hand back in her lap, watching him with worried eyes.
"You can get through this...I'll help, however I can."
She laughed shortly.
"And that'll be about nothing, but I can try."
Taylor
"If these babies are going to be as much trouble as Blakesley says they are…" Taylor began.
He reached his hand over to touch her abdomen again, then pulled it away quickly as an afterthought.
"Then why the hell would he create them in the first place? There was absolutely no reason to."
Mouse.
"Why did they make the bomb?" Mouse said dryly.
"For some people...the creation of a weapon is its own justicication. But they're not going to be like what he wants," she quietly insisted.
"And his oh so delightful predictions aren't going to happen either."
Taylor
"'They' didn't create the bomb, someone who found the shrine did," Taylor shook his head.
He ignored what she'd said about Blakesley.
"Animals do act as their instincts tell them to," he began softly, "but they're not animals, and they're only children. They can be brought up to know better."
Mouse.
"Well, I was talking about nukes, but that could work too," Mouse said.
"It'll be fine. Eventually."
Taylor
"I know you were," Taylor amended, "I just changed the subject."
He scratched Xanthe's head a little, then reached down to pet Flavian.
"I wish I never had to see his face again, but I know I will. And when it happens I'll freak out."
Mouse.
"My talent is flipping out on me," Mouse said in frustration.
"I don't know if it's cos the babies are what they are...must be, your mom never had any problems, did she?"
Taylor
"Not until she got sick," Taylor shook his head, "God I wish there was a cure."
He ran his fingers through his hair, then smiled slightly.
"Such great family life we have at the moment."
Mouse.
"Pssh, don't look at me. My faimly consisted of a rat, a bird and a wolf," Mouse said.
"Fantastic role models, let me tell you. What is normal family life like?"
Taylor
Taylor grinned.
"I'm not the right person to ask," he shrugged, "my family consisted of not only aliens, but every animal in the neighbourhood. Did you hear about the time I went completely antisocial?"
Mouse.
"Noooo..."
Mouse shook her head slightly.
"Amusing? Embarrassing? Or just one of those things?"
Taylor
Taylor shrugged.
"When I was about four or five I didn't want to talk to anyone. Anytime someone came near me dogs would be growling, birds would be swooping, mice would raid people's houses…"
He chuckled.
"Of course the humans thought there was some kind of plague starting. But I didn't really understand the full potential of that at that age."
Mouse.
"I can imagine that..."
Mouse grinned, almost evilly.
Taylor
"Ah… no offence or anything…" Taylor began again.
"But Christian told me about what you'd done when you thought I'd cheated on you. He said you'd set all the neighbourhood animals on me."
He chuckled.
"Honestly? That wouldn't have worked. They'd have known me a lot longer than they'd known you. They were probably showing up and calling out to Christian asking what was going on rather than attacking him. Not that he knew what they were saying…"
Mouse.
Mouse pouted slightly.
"Yeah, well...I was pissed. And not thinking exactly straight."
Taylor
"I'll bet you were," Taylor raised his eyebrows, still not looking at her.
"It's not often something like that happens. If anything, that would be what I'd hate him for. For… deceiving you. And my family…"
His face grew distant again as he stared off into space.
Mouse.
Mouse debated waving her hand in front of his face, then sighed. He'd come back whenever.
"So..."
Taylor
Taylor jumped slightly, then chuckled at himself.
"Umm… yeah. Sorry I took off the other day. When I went to that jamming session with Ike and Zac…"
Mouse.
"Was that good?" Mouse asked.
"How are they, anyway?"
Taylor
"They're… usual. The usual. We got quite a lot of work done at least."
He yawned and rubbed his face.
"Thursday is Christmas. I'm desperate to find something for Zac as a gift."
Mouse.
"Eep. Gifts. Christmas."
Mouse looked mildly panicked.
Taylor
Taylor chuckled again.
"Nevermind. Most presents will be from both of us anyway. You should see what I got Ike."
He grinned, blocking her slightly as he thought of what he got her.
Mouse.
"That's a relief. I have no idea what to get anyone anyway," Mouse said.
She looked faintly regretful.
"You know...this will really be my first Christmas worth remembering."
Taylor
"Glad I could help."
Taylor watched the fuzzles, not being able to hide the guilt he still felt.
"I might go have a shower or something," he began, standing up.
God, he felt dirty.
Mouse.
"'K."
Mouse nodded slightly.
Why couldn't she ever seem to say the right thing?
Taylor
Taylor glanced at her for a split second, before making his way toward the bathroom. He ran the shower and got ready.
Maybe he should spend some more time with Ike and Zac... at least he wouldn't be able to hurt them. For one, they'd stop him before he had the chance...
Mouse.
Mouse stared at the ring on her finger and twisted it around and around.
Maybe this had been a bad idea. But she loved him...and he loved her. But...they were so different. They thought so differently. Could they make this work?
She used to think so, but she didn't know anymore.