He was about to see his mother.
He had been pestering his Dad ever since the TV performance the night before. They were in the middle of an interview when some family questions had come up. Because Babsie had been on Popstars, it had been made public that she had been attacked, and although no further details had been officially released, rumours managed to get out. For the first time Xavier had found himself unable to contain himself. He just couldn’t handle any of the questions that came up – even the ones not concerning Babsie at all. He abruptly stood up, left the stage and walked into the dressing room where he collapsed and cried into his father’s waiting arms.
Taylor had naturally commented to his own sons that he had ‘given permission’ for Xavier to walk off previously and had given them advice on how to handle it, should the need arise.
“Please,” Xavier had begged Isaac that night. “Please, I have to see her.”
Finally, Isaac relented. He knew Xavier loved her dearly, but he didn’t know who the visit would be roughest on. Babsie, Xavier, or himself!
Xavier looked up as Dr Thomas gently guided Babsie into the room, looking uncharacteristically bedraggled and wild. She glanced at Xavier with flickering eyes.
“Who are you?” she asked.
If it wasn’t for the fact that Isaac had warned him about it, Xavier may well have burst into tears at this question. Even knowing he felt like he might still do it.
“It’s me. Xavier. Your son.”
“My son?” she repeated.
“Yeah. I’m the oldest. Remember me?”
She shook her head.
“C’mon, you’ve gotta remember me. Everyone remembers me!” he said. “And a good thing too, because if you’re a forgettable person you have to keep reminding people who you are and that can get really boring after a while.”
She didn’t laugh as she might have done in normal circumstances. She stared at him curiously.
“D’you remember the time...” and he went on to talk about the various things that they had done.
After a while Xavier was certain he saw flickers of Babsie’s former self. Usually they were only for brief moments but even those few moments made Xavier so happy.
The time passed. Then Xavier brought up something which led Babsie to distressing over Angel.
“It’s my fault. My fault she died,” she whimpered.
“No, it wasn’t.”
“I knew you would say that! They all say that! But you’re all wrong! It’s my fault. My fault! If it hadn’t been for me, she wouldn’t have died.”
“Well, maybe, but if it hadn’t been for you, she wouldn’t have lived either,” Xavier pointed out.
Babsie stopped short.
“She... she... she lived?”
“Yeah. For a few hours at least. But she was very small and couldn’t get enough air in her lungs. That was no one’s fault. Least of all yours.”
Babsie didn’t seem to know what to say.
“But the other two... Zeke and Audrey are alive.”
“They... they are?”
“Sure they are. Two out of three ain’t bad, Mum.”
It was around then that Xavier had to leave. As he was shutting the door behind him he was certain he could hear her singing “two out of three ain’t bad”.