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Hey Taylor,
Argh, I hate this. I hate walking through crowded streets and no one acknowledging I'm even there. And what's worse is that I'm finally noticing other people like me. Not like me in the sense that they R nonexistent people too, but people do act like they don't exist.
C'mon Tay, have U ever walked down the street and noticed the beggars and the street urchins, the homeless people? Of course U haven't! And if you ever do see one out the corner of UR eye U simply ignore him or her, don't U?
Of course you do! It's like the national sport that everyone plays! Nobody cares or feels compassion any more. Nobody!
~+~+Moira+~+~
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Taylor,
I don't know if U R gonna read this or not. U never replied to my last letters. Damn it Tay, am I invisible to U too now?
I've been thinking lately. Is the only way for me to end all this suffering is for me to die? But how can a nonexistent person die?
~+~+Moira+~+~
Taylor bit his lip and finally hit the reply button:
Moira, I'm sorry. I guess I'm still frustrated with the whole, your-my-invisible-friend thing.
Lets assume for a moment that it is possible for you to kill yourself. Please don't. I know how you feel. Oh, ok, so I don't know what it's like to be ignored like that, but I know what it's like to want to kill yourself so badly you feel like you're being eaten up from the inside out.
If it's any consolation to you, Ike and Zac have started including me in their activities again. You might remember what it was like when you were here before - they would go out and hang out with friends and stuff and I would be left at home do feel sorry for myself or whatever.
Actually, I was talking to Mel the other day. Y'know, she's started her own business and her baby is due in just a couple of weeks. And it must have been so hard for her, seeing as David's gone. I envy the way she's been able to pull thru, I wish I was able to do that. I asked her how she coped and she said there were two things she liked to do. The first was to make a list of five things that she would want to accomplish that day. Little things, like having breakfast, doing grocery shopping, buying a double scoop chocolate ice cream cone :)
The other thing was that every day before she went to sleep she would write down ten things that she had to be happy about. I think she said that one of the first ones she would write down on days that she had a check up, was that she's happy that the baby was healthy.
I admit, I've taken up doing the second one. It really does help!
From Taylor