“Fred?” Zac repeated. “Oh who cares about him?”
“Well, he does have the fourth ring. But it’s the fifth ring I’m concerned about. See, without the fifth ring, technically, I shouldn’t be here.”
“Fourth ring? But there were only three!” Taylor objected.
“No, there are definitely five rings,” Captain Hanson then looked up at the sky. “Ok, I think someone in the story line department screwed something up.”
“Story line department?” Taylor repeated. “What is this? Someone’s crazy idea of a Hanson fanfic?”
Captain Hanson hushed him.
“Be careful!” He warned. “Don’t make the story line department mad. They might change everything just to do something really mean to you. Like throw you into an active volcano.”
Isaac, Taylor and Zac looked at each other, the expressions on their faces clearly saying ‘yeah, right’.
“Right. Like that could ever happen. Besides, there aren’t any active volcanoes in Tulsa,” Isaac pointed out.
“Not yet,” Captain Hanson said. “And anyway, who says you’re still in Tulsa?”
There was silence.
“Do you know where the fifth ring is?” asked Fred.
Captain Hanson looked at him.
“Nope. With the fifth Hanson I suppose.”
“Fifth Hanson?” Taylor repeated. “There is no fifth Hanson. It’s bad enough there’s a fourth one.”
“Well, there must be. Otherwise there wouldn’t be a fifth ring.”
“How do you know there’s a fourth ring?” asked Isaac. “Have you ever seen it?”
“Umm, no I haven’t seen it. I mean, c’mon, I just came into this world just then when you guys combined your powers. And I know there’s a fifth ring because... oh ok I don’t know. But gimme a break!”
“So, maybe there isn’t one?” Zac said hopefully. “Because if there was one, I mean, you yourself said you need all the rings to be here right?”
“Well, maybe not in those exact words, but yes.”
“Then, if there’s a fifth ring, then you shouldn’t be here. But since you are there, then there can’t be right?”
“Unless someone in the story line department has screwed things up.”
“Or maybe you’re just psycho?” Isaac suggested. “Or paranoid. Or delirious. Or -”
“I get the idea,” Captain Hanson replied dryly. “You think I’m mentally disturbed. Well, let me tell you something, Ikey-poos, I’m the embodiment of all of you. So if I’m mentally disturbed, then so are you.”
“Yeah, well, anyway, do you know the way home?” Taylor asked.
“Umm, no, why?”
“Because, we’re lost. Duh. And if you can’t get us home, then you’re no good to us. Just someone else to argue with.”
Zac’s eyes brightened.
“Oh good. I love having new people to argue with.”
“Tell you what,” said Captain Hanson. “I’ll fly up above the trees, figure out the best direction for you to go to get home, tell you, and then depart.”
They looked at each other.
“Ok. Sounds good,” Taylor said.
Captain Hanson was true to his word. As soon as he had come down from his flight above the trees, he told the Hansons the right way to go “for all the good it’ll do you, if the story line department is feeling mean” and left.
“Story line department indeed,” Isaac laughed.
“Let’s get rid of these rings,” Zac suggested. “As much fun as it was seeing that piano fall on the griffin’s head, I don’t wanna deal with some guy who thinks there’s a fifth Hanson.”
Taylor and Isaac agreed. So they pulled off their rings and threw them away into the bush. Fred secretly picked them up, thinking they might be useful at a later date. And if they didn’t, they’d make nice souvenirs.