Is there a fourth Hanson? Will they ever learn the truth? Or will the truth evade them, much like the truth of the Lochness Monster, or the Yeti, or Big Foot, or other such legends?
Only time will tell.
We now take our scene to the home of the Hansons, for what better place to begin our search? It’s a fine home. There are a few cars parked in the streets. Possibly belonging to neighbours, or the fans who decide to seek out the Hanson’s house, or perhaps other searchers of the fabled fourth Hanson.
Fred has blonde hair that comes down to his chin. He isn’t much to look at. No distinguishing features. Nothing that really makes him stand out in the crowd.
He plays the kazoo.
Music history might call Fred the greatest kazoo player in the world, if only music history knew he existed.
His brothers don’t know this. The record companies don’t know this. His friends don’t know this, but that’s mainly because he doesn’t have any.
If his brothers knew this, maybe they wouldn’t be ashamed to have him in the band and pretend he was really one of the back up musicians.
If their record company knew this, maybe they wouldn’t have put a clause in the contract that they weren’t to admit to the public that Fred was the fourth member of the band. In fact, give him no public mention, at all.
It used to bother Fred Hanson. But being forgotten doesn’t bother him so much any more. It’s become a part of him, and who he is in the world.
The fourth Hanson. The forgotten Hanson. The greatest kazoo player in the world.
And he taught himself to play too!
On this fine day, he and his brothers were practicing in the garage.
“Look, Zac, you’re going too fast,” Isaac complained.
“I am not!”
“You are so!”
“Am not!”
Or rather, Fred was practicing.
“Zac, you are playing too fast, ok. It’s a ballad, and you’re going at a million drum beats per second,” Taylor agreed.
“It sounds better fast!”
“It does not!”
“Does so!”
“Does not!”
“Fred! Stop that buzzing. Can’t you see we’re trying to have an argument?” Isaac said, giving him a look.
“Yeah,” Zac agreed. “Fred, my brother, I love you as a family pet, but shut up.”
Fred put down his kazoo and shrugged.
“Thank you,” Taylor said. “Now, where were we?”