Raphael looked at Hope with a determined look on her face and a photo album in hand and sighed.
“You’re really determined to get me to understand all about your family, aren’t you?”
Hope nodded. Raphael sighed and laid down beside her on the bed.
“Okay,” he said reluctantly. “But I’m warning you not to expect me to remember any of this. Your family is just way too big.”
Hope grinned at him as she opened the photo album.
“Okay, this is a picture of my Dad’s family when they were a lot younger. See? Uncle Ike had hair then.”
“Uh huh.”
“Okay so there’s Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Ike, Uncle Taylor, my Dad, Zac, Auntie Jess, Auntie Avie, Uncle Mackie Auntie Zoe, Auntie Sarah and Auntie Yasmine. Grandma, Grandpa and Auntie Yasmine died in a tornado back in 2012.”
“Uh huh.”
Hope flipped the page to see a photo with a large number of children in it.
“That’s Uncle Ike’s family. His wife, Babise – she’s used to do celebrity interviews for a living. She’s a music guru. A few years ago she was in a coma for three years! That’s Xavier – he’s in the Four Amigos. Those are Carmen and Esme. Carmen’s just like Auntie Babsie. Those are Duke, Cosmo and Matt. You can’t see it in this photo, but Cosmo’s left leg has been amputated. Rogue and Storm have their own band – Mutant Girls. They’re so close they even finish each others sentences! They’re also dating Colin Hank’s kids – Cam and Mac who are also twins.”
“Naturally.”
Hope grinned at him.
“Okay, that’s Tobias. He’s the artist of the family. Cyclops and Psylocke – or Cyke and Lockie for short. Auntie Babsie’s sister is named Psylocke too. I swear that family is obsessed with the X-men. Those are Libby and Joy – Libby’s a gymnast and Joy’s an ice skater. They’re really good. Wolvie and Gambit are into music too – they’re having a competition to see who can learn to play the weirdest instrument. Mystique has an IQ of 188. Nigel is really into space and he wants to be apart of the colonising Mars project. That’s Jubilee, and those are Audrey and Zeke. Audrey and Zeke had a triplet sister, Angel, but she died as a baby.”
“See? Way, way too big.”
Hope chuckled and turned to the next photo.
“Okay, that’s Uncle Tay and his wife Rita. Auntie Rita is Auntie Babsie’s cousin. Their mothers were twins.”
“Yeah... I’ve noticed that multiples seem to run in you family.” “Yeah. Auntie Babsie’s father Harry is a twin too, only he’s evil,” Hope nodded seriously. “Anyway, I digress. Those are Mike, Sam and Morgan. Morgan’s a script writer. She’s living in a place with some friends of her including Jesse Trewin!”
“... Am I supposed to know who he is?”
“Oh. He’s an actor. He’s also in love with Morgan. So sweet. Anyway, she’s helping Uncle Taylor to turn one of his romance novels into a movie.”
“Romance novels?”
“Oh, umm... ha... I probably shouldn’t have told you, but yeah. Uncle Taylor writes these bestselling romance novels under ‘H T Jordan’. It’s funny because a lot of people assume H T Jordan is a girl so Uncle Ike and Dad like to tease him by calling him ‘Miss Jordan,” Hope giggled. “They wrote a song about him called ‘Miss’, which totally embarrassed Uncle Tay but that’s okay because they have a saong called ‘Hungover’ which is about Dad, and ‘Black Eye’ which is about Uncle Ike, so it all works out.”
“Uh huh.”
“Anyway, before I go off on even more of a tangent,” Hope grinned. “That’s Adam. Adam’s gay but he’s recently been dating a girl, Debra, who’s aparently a lesbian. So I guess they’re both really been bi this whole time and didn’t realise. Ha! Anyway, Adam, Mike and Sam are all in the Four Ameigos with Xavier. That’s Rose. She’s was blinded in a car accident a few years ago. Kyle is Uncle Tay’s son, btui not Auntie Rita’s. He’s deaf.”
“Your Uncle Tay had an affair, huh?”
“No. He was raped by a stalker.”
“Oh.”
“Anyway she died, so Uncle tay took Kyle in. Which was big of him. That’s Charlotte. She’s taken a vow of silence.”
“Uhh, okay, why?”
“Well, I don’t completely understand. Apparently she’s been dreaming of some guy her entire life and he died in one of her dreams a year ago, so she freaked out about that and decided that as he had never heard her speak, she wouldn’t speak again,” Hope shrugged. “Apparently that’s who Uncle Tay and Auntie Rita met – they had dreamt of each other all their lives too. Anyways, so Rose, Kyle and Charlotte have started their own band. It’s called No Evil.”
“How can a blind girl, a mute girl and a deaf boy start a band?”
“Kyle plays the drums – vibration and rythem and stuff. As long as he can see Rose, he’s all good. Rose plays the piano and sings, and Charlotte plays guiitar and saxophone.”
“All right then.”
“And those are their two youngest, Billy and Joel. There was another... Duane. But he died a few years ago,” Hope said then turned the page. “Okay, that’s my Dad and his first wife Cassie – my Mum. This was one of their wedding photos. She’s died of a brain tumour when I was just a month old, so I don’t remember her.”
“You had a brain tumour yourself, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but they caught it early enough and anyway, technology is much better these days. Okay, that’s Dad with his second wife, Kelsey. Kel is so awesome. She’s a pool and card shark and she has her own bar: Kelsey’s Bar. And those are their kids, Kitty, Walker and Pippa. And of course, you do remember that Dad has his own show: I Must Have Been Insane That Day, right?”
“Uhh, yeah.”
“Good,” Hope said turning the page. “That’s my Auntie Jess. She died in that earthquake a few years ago,” Hope said sadly. “That’s her husband, Austin. He’s an actor. He was in Star Trek! That’s her daughter, Marie. She had Marie when she was a teenager because her abusive boyfriend co-erced her. And those are Alex and Emily, Auntie Jess and Uncle Austin’s kids. This is an old photo before Auntie Jess died though. Alex is in a wheelchair now. He plays wheelchair basketball now.”
“Uh huh.”
“Okay, that’s my Auntie Avery...”
“She’s the one who’s in the Rocky Road sitcom with you, isn’t she?”
“Yep. See? My family’s not that complicated!”
“Yeah... I’ve already forgotten most of the names you’ve told me.”
“Psh you,” Hope dismissed as she turned the page. “Okay, that’s Uncle Mackie and his wife, Sandy. Sandy has a music magazine: Music Magic. Carmen write a colomn for it. And those are their two kids Ryan and Brooke. Uncle Mackie runs his own music studio back in Tulsa.”
“Uh huh.”
“That’s my Auntie Zoe. She’s a soloist, and she has her own fashion label. That’s her husband, Chris. He was one of her back up dancers.”
“He’s a dancer and straight? How novel.”
“You are so crass sometimes. Ugh,” Hope rolled her eyes. “They’re trying to have kids but yeah... not really working out. I think she’s like, barren or something, which sucks. Okay, this is my Auntie Sarah. She’s in a band called Dinomight with three friends and her husband Jim. Those are their kids, Nadine and Elijah. Sarah’s had kidney failure recently but Auntie Zoe donated a kidney so all is good now.”
“Uh huh.”
“Okay, this is my cousin Xavier with his family...”
“Oh hell, we have to go through your cousins too?”
“Shush you. Only a few have their own families. Okay, that’s his wife Electra. They met over the internet. She’s a fanfic writer. And those are their kids. Twins, Zed and Zirc, and quintuplets Ivan, Juan, Ian, Drew and Karli.”
“I’m amazed you can remember the names of babies.”
“I’m am amazing person,” Hope chuckled, turning the page. “Also, it helps when you have their named written down on the page. Okay, that’s Mike with his wife Verity, and their son Brett. That’s Sam with his wife Melissa. They only just got married a few months ago. Melissa’s a little... I dunno... I don’t like her too much. She’s pregant – due any day now, in fact. Anyway, that’s the last photo.”
“Finally!”
Hope smiled at her new husband. She wished that her Dad could learn to appreciate him. She did understand that the whole breaking into the house thing probably wasn’t the best first impression, but still, she would have liked for him to just give him a chance. Kelsey did.